Todays rant bought to you in association with cash in the attic...

[Knoxville]

Unfortunatly for all those who clicked on this thread hoping to find a satirical rant about the horror's of reality television that was mearly a lure, and amuse-bouche if you will to the real thing.

A long time ago (it would've been in a galaxy far far away but we had budget problems so we had to cut back and film in the midlands) I was made unemployed, tossed from the pursuit of like minded rodents into the job centre, and it sucked balls, big ones.

But I took solice in the fact that while I picked out my new job, after whiling away a few hour's typing things like "please find enclosed a cv of things I did inbetween pints" (those of you who knew me in college will know this to be true) and sending it to numerous employers I'd be able to spend some time doing things I couldn't do while at work, like drink in the morning, read hitchhikers guide to the galaxy while smoking a pipe and writing in the margin "yes my thoughts exactly how true" and finally not only understanding the social commentary found in old zombie movies but using it to my advantage in pub based arguments.

Now these things are all well and good, I have enjoyed them, inbetween enjoying them I've sent probably more cv's and job applications than anyone should have to, people that say they don't handle rejection well should strive to keep their job because believe me, getting shot down infront of that cute barmaid everyone else has had a crack at is far easier than reading the hundreds of "sorry to inform you" letters I have in the past year.

Sorry to infrom you but we employed the managers son, he's only seventeen and he's semi retarted but why take the chance of outsourcing for a worthwhile member of staff when we can get one that can't write his own name without a stencil quickly and easily, thank you for your application.

Now how does our great unemployment system deal with you if you've been unemployed over six months....do they send you to a personal careers advisor and work out a long term plan? no, they send you to purgatory, to what is known in my area as the dudley gateway centre, where they put you in an "intensive" sixty hour course that is supposed to ensure you have a cv, cover letter and the necessary teamworking and interview skills needed to get on that bottom rung of the employment ladder, it involves alot of sitting, I did some sudoku in the paper one afternoon, thats about it.

Now who are you with on said course? like minded individuals that have just had no luck in their job hunting endeavours?

You should be so lucky, my group contained two drug dealers, a car theif, a good for nothing whore and a lad who I'm sure should have been in some kind of support centre for those with challenging behaviours as he honestly exhibited some life changing mental problems, these are people for whom the dole office is a way of life, a place they meet their friends, a place where everybody knows their name, a place who's tagline as far as they are concerned should be "come here and you'll never need to work again"; almost daily I heard one of them remark "I don't need a *insert badly pronounced expletive* job I got my jsa and my child benefit innit".

The scum of the earth, they are all without exception a waste of good stem cells, and twice weekly for eight hours I am coraled with these people and treated like human excrement.

Foxy brown was right, you gotta have a j.o.b.

[htid]

The scum of the earth, they are all without exception a waste of good stem cells, and twice weekly for eight hours I am coraled with these people and treated like human excrement.

Here here! When I had to go to the Job Centre for a few months I saw more than enough of these kinds of people!

I feel for you, if you have to spend more than 5 minutes with them!

[Whalefish]

This is the problem with the system as it stands. They will fund daft courses like that, teaching monkeys to hammer on a keyboard, but they will not fund a course that would give you a real qualification, even though it would work out cheaper.

[schmunk]

If you can do Sudoku, you can get a job.

First question - What kind of job do you want? (and have you identified a particular industry?)

[M0nkeyb0Y]

Good thread Knox.
How long have you been looking?
Ever thought about starting your own business?

[Knoxville]

If you can do Sudoku, you can get a job.

First question - What kind of job do you want? (and have you identified a particular industry?)

I know I'm capable of holding down long term employment, I've done it a couple of times and wanted to move on both times to try something different.

Originally I wanted to work in computers, but despite have more slightly knowledge than the average bear I lack the patience to really dig into hardcore software code, which is where any of the remaining worthwhile jobs in the i.t sector are by my understanding, so I stopped even looking at that in college. My general disdain for stupid people and moreso my habit of vocalising it pretty much rules me out of any but the smallest of retail niches and customer services is out.

Unfortunatly due to giving up and going to the pub after the first year of college my qualifications are a mixed bag and as such I have no specialist trade to ply.

The only subject I really know much about is music, but a niche of music at that, I'd looked into journalism in said field but it requires qualifications I just don't have.

Good thread Knox.
How long have you been looking?
Ever thought about starting your own business?

I've been looking coming up on thirteen months, my own business would require start up capital and more importantly a really worthwhile idea which I don't really have to be fair.

[M0nkeyb0Y]

I've been looking coming up on thirteen months, my own business would require start up capital and more importantly a really worthwhile idea which I don't really have to be fair.

Ouch - 13 months, must kick you in the balls - I've been looking for 2 (had a falling out with my employer, it's a a "leave when you can, but make it quick" situation), just found one I applied for before all this blew up, and I'm as happy as a pig in tish.

Start up capital?! nah man! You really don't need it. I'm guessing you know more than your average Joe about PCs - a couple of posters in your local library, offy, post office for a PC repair man or the like.... so on and so on. If you encounter a problem you can't fix - post here.

A few years ago a friend and I looked at what we had (a PC and 2 DV camcorders), and realised we could make money making videos of people's weddings - we did a few, and earned some money out of it. I dare say if we hadn't got "real jobs" and got one with our lives we could have really made something out of it. After all Duncan Balantine (Scottish Geezer off dragons den) made his first million after a few years of selling ice cream from a van (seriously), people with common sense and determination do succeed.

I've looked at your system specs - still a decent PC (unless you wanna play Oblivious at full whack), decent enough to write web pages.

Any if you're not PC orientated: just think a little about what can make money without upfront costs? If you need to find anything out, your local council will have the info on it, probably available in your local library.

Just keep your mind open, look to see anything at all that could be exploited - no matter how daft you think it, why not float it here first -- we;re an intelligent bunch of guys.

Best of luck.