Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: 2 Funny Stories To Share...

  1. #1
    Banned
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Midlands
    Posts
    8,629
    Thanks
    24
    Thanked
    268 times in 188 posts

    2 Funny Stories To Share...

    So, for Christmas, a friend of mine gets a German Shepard puppy. Lovely little thing.

    Anyway, its very friendly, always greets him in the mornings and when he comes home from work, etc. So, a few days ago, he wakes up late for work, and is in a bit of a rush.

    He runs downstairs naked, puts the toast on, and goes to the front door, to get the post. He bends down to pick up the mail, and the pup, woken up by him rushing about, greets him, by bounding up behind him, whilst he's bending down for the mail, and licking his testicles!

    The shock of a wet floppy tongue on his unprotected man blobs sends a shock through his body, and he lurches forward, putting his head through the bottom pane of glass, in his front door!

    He's Ok, a few cuts and scratches on his head, and the pup is fine.



    When he told me, I was doing all I could to stop laughing, in case he was injured badly, or the pup was harmed, but once he told me all was well, I collapsed into a writhing mass on the floor.

    Comedy gold.

    Also, something that happened over Christmas; my Dad sometimes makes holly wreaths over Christmas, for a friend of his, who sells them in his flower shop. Anyway, one day, whilst my Dad is busy making them, he gets a call from Jimmy (the bloke who owns the flower shop), saying that he's ran out of holly, and can he come and use some of my Dads?

    He says its fine, and 20 minutes later, Jimmy arrives, takes 2 black bags from the back garden, and leaves.

    The next morning, he comes back, and hasn't made any wreaths overnight, because... he'd taken 2 bags of rubbish!

    He'd actually walked into the back garden, and instead of taking 2 bags of holly, he's taken our bin bags, carried them through the house, into his car, taken them home, and only found out, when he opened one in his front room, ready to make a wreath!

    What a rubbishrubbishrubbishrubbishrubbishrubbish!

    Man, I cracked up. I always laugh now, when I think about it. He put them out for the bin men, the next night.

  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Midlands
    Posts
    8,629
    Thanks
    24
    Thanked
    268 times in 188 posts
    No-one else got any?

  3. #3
    HEXUS webmaster Steve's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Posts
    14,283
    Thanks
    293
    Thanked
    841 times in 476 posts
    Oh, the first story was too damn funny!

    Unfortunately I don't have a life - so nothing funny ever happens that I notice.
    PHP Code:
    $s = new signature();
    $s->sarcasm()->intellect()->font('Courier New')->display(); 

  4. #4
    ^-- I'm with stupid --^
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Under Your Bed
    Posts
    1,354
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0 times in 0 posts
    I thought they were quite good, the idea of a dog licking my balls tho makes me feel sick! lol
    tom@meangasoline.co.uk | RIP Zoltan

    Canon 350d | 50 F/1.8 Mk II | 70-200 F/4 L | 1Gb Sandisk Ultra III

  5. #5
    Blue Army Member spazman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Sonning, Reading, Berks
    Posts
    1,939
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked
    10 times in 9 posts
    • spazman's system
      • Motherboard:
      • Gigabyte DS3
      • CPU:
      • Core 2 Duo E6600 @ 3.2Ghz
      • Memory:
      • 2GB Corsair PC6400
      • Storage:
      • 2 x 320gb RAID 0 , 250gb IDE , 160gb IDE, 400bg USB
      • Graphics card(s):
      • Nvidia 7900GX2
      • PSU:
      • 750watt Enermax
      • Case:
      • Akasa Eclipse
      • Monitor(s):
      • 19" LCD 19" CRT
      • Internet:
      • Be Unlimited
    HAhahahahaha, first story is great, 2nd story did the bloke not realise that the bags he was carrying smelt bad?
    NES, SNES, N64, GameCube, Wii, GBA, DS, PSone, PS2, PSP, PS3 60gb, XBOX, XBOX 360, Master System, Game Gear, Mega Drive, Saturn, Dreamcast, PC Engine, Neo Geo CD

  6. #6
    Banned
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Midlands
    Posts
    8,629
    Thanks
    24
    Thanked
    268 times in 188 posts
    Obviously not. I mean, to pick them up, put them in his car, drive them home, and sit next to them for 20 minutes, whilst he prepares his holly wrethe stuff... amazing.

    I find the seconds funnier, because I was there, when he came back to tell us he'd taken 2 bags of rubbish.

    Tea came out of my nose.

  7. #7
    HEXUS.social member Allen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Brighton
    Posts
    8,536
    Thanks
    363
    Thanked
    262 times in 168 posts
    • Allen's system
      • Motherboard:
      • ASUS Maximus VIII Gene
      • CPU:
      • Intel Core i5 6600K
      • Memory:
      • 2 x 8GB Kingston HyperX Predator DDR4-3000
      • Storage:
      • 256GB Samsung 950 PRO NVMe M.2 (OS) + 2 x 512GB Samsung 960 EVO in RAID 0 (Games)
      • Graphics card(s):
      • ASUS ROG Strix GeForce GTX 1080 Ti OC
      • PSU:
      • XFX P1-650X-NLG9 XXX 650W Modular
      • Case:
      • Fractal Design Node 804
      • Operating System:
      • Windows 10 Home 64-bit
      • Monitor(s):
      • 27" BenQ XL2730Z + 23" Dell U2311H
      • Internet:
      • Virgin Media 200Mbps
    Quote Originally Posted by Vaul
    Tea came out of my nose.
    That was funnier than both the stories!!

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •