Excuses to not attend school...

[OV3RCLOCK3R]

Real excuses found through google

# "My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him."

# "Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot."

# "Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33."

# "Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating."

# "Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip."

# "John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face."

# "Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part."

# "Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins."

# "Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side."

# "Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels."

# "Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak."

# "Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust."

# "Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault."

# "Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday."

# "Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral."

# "My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines."

# "Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well."

# "Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps."

# "Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover."

# "Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor."

# "Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever, and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night."

[Dorza]

# "A can of beans dropped on my foot"


That was a genuine excuse from a boy who I used to be in school with. It was his excuse for missing P.E that particular week.

EDIT: Another one was in relation to someone not doing their home work and the excuse they gave was that their fishtank cracked and leaked all over it. We had some crackers in my school.

[Nemz0r]

Hmm i'll try to add to your list if I think of anything . Some funny ones there .

[chuckskull]

My mate came up with a twist on a classic

You done your homework?

No miss my dog died this morning

That's very sad, but why hadn't you done your homework before then?

You don't understand, he choked on it.

[Oobie-]

Oh dear, some of those are just atrocious!

[OV3RCLOCK3R]

My mate came up with a twist on a classic

You done your homework?

No miss my dog died this morning

That's very sad, but why hadn't you done your homework before then?

You don't understand, he choked on it.

haha, I like that

[Whalefish]

I actually was in class with a boy who said his cat had walked over his Tech Drawing homework, everyone laughed until he took out the drawing with little muddy kitty cat prints all over it. The teacher still bollocked him, what a jerk.

[TooNice]

Lol, we were shown those excuses during our induction for one of the comp-sci classes couple years back. Still funny though

[TAKTAK]

My dog actually has eaten my homework before, and the barstewards wouldn't believe me

[razer121]

lol same...but thats because everyone trys that one!!!

[0iD]

My friend at school used "I fell off the loo and broke my arm"... Basically because he had, never lived it down poor fella

[EvilMunky]

I wrote a random excuse generator in college and got about 100 people to make up excuses and put them into the program I had about 2000 excuses in there and then distributed it to everyone. It was used by lots of people for a couple of years!

[jim]

My dog actually has eaten my homework before, and the barstewards wouldn't believe me

I once fed some Shakespeare homework to my dog because we'd had about 4 hours of it every week for six months, exactly the same style of worksheet every time.

I took the remains of it in as proof though, along with a photograph of the dog eating it

[Behemoth]

I remember never doing any home work when I was at school, and got away with it every time.

[TAKTAK]

How the hell did i come across this thread to necro it?

[Will404]

I have on several occasions reinstalled windows to avoid doing my IT homework, taken a couple of photo's of it, and said "couldnt do it was half way through reinstalling windows"