Banks as useless as ever (rant)

[manwithnoname]

I've banked with Lloyds TSB for over half my life and over the years they appear to have gone above and beyond the all expected standards for messing a customer around.

1) Bank charges for services that are free with the account - saw the bank manager 3 times about this.
2) increasing my over draft limit without me ask
3) remove my over draft limit without tell me, this was nicely timed as point 2 was done 3 times in the 6 months leading up to them doing this.
4) ignoring my request to clear a cheque
5) failing to advise me they would ignoring a request to clear a cheque
6) bouncing a cheque when funds were showing as available - this was specially nice as I had paid in a cheque from Lloyds TSB not a customer banking with Lloyds TSB but Lloyds TSB the bank - I can only assume the bank might not have been too sure that they were good for the money.
7) Giving me a fake £20 note over the counter.
8) The bank manager filling in forms for me then have the forms returning to me in the post as they were not correctly filled in.
9) putting so many crap ad's on TV

The latest one was internet banking: trying to transfer money between 2 Lloyds TSB accounts, I'd done this about 10 days ago successfully but about 7 days ago I tried to move a bit more and it gave me an error message saying it was trying to move too small an amount. But I was moving more money than the time before. So I ring up after about 4 minutes I get through to the internet banking help line explain the issue - on hold for another 2-3 minutes - then I'm told I should be able to transfer the funds but the operator was not sure why I couldn't.
Operator 1: Would I like to log a fault?
me: Yes and can you transfer the funds for me please?
Operator 1: No but I can put me through to phone banking if I would like to transfer funds.
They log the fault and put me through to phone banking, on hold about 3 minutes. The 2nd operator nearly transfer the funds the wrong way round but I manage to correct them in time.

Operator 2: While we are waiting for confirmation of the fund transfer I can see you are paying phone insurance, if you upgrade your account you can get this free...
Me: How can you tell I'm paying phone insurance?
Operator 2: Err.. sorry sir I can't but I can see you have a direct debit to O2 but if you change account you would ...
tbh I'm from up north and he was trying to sell me something I'd have to pay extra for
Me: .. That's not phone insurance. If the different account isn't free I'm not interested.
Operator 2: Sorry sir there is a monthly charge ... I also see you have a large outstanding balance on your credit card can I discuss a loan to make your repayment more manageable.
Me: .. if it's not free I'm not interested ... actually don't answer that can you just transfer the funds I want nothing more please.
Operator 2: <laugh> No sir the loan would not be free, that's transfered for you now is there anything else I can help you with today.
Me: No thank you.

All in all 20 minutes to do something that took about a minute when the internet worked. I'd forgot about it but I got a letter today from the bank

Dear <manwithnoname>,

Thank you for contacting us about your complaint. I am sorry to hear that you are unhappy with us.

I am looking into the issues you have raised and hope to give you a full response within the next 5 days.

If you want to contact us, please telephone on the above number and one of our Senior Officers will be able to help you.

In the meantime attached to this letter is a document called 'Voicing your concerns'. This tells you all you need to know about resolving your complaint with us.

Thank you again for making us aware of your concerns.

Your sincerely

<illegible photocopied signature>

Senior Officer
Customer Service recovery

Round of applause the 'Voicing your concerns' document was not enclosed - I hope the fact it's missing does not imply my complaint/bug will not be resolve. I'm look forward to the full response in a hopeful 5 days.












and yet i cannot be bothered changing banks... come to think of it I get all I deserve


me




Could you be bother reading all that or did you just scroll down to the bottom of the post - be honest!!

[Behemoth]

Move over to Nationwide, never had any problems since I've been with them.

[SiM]

Could you be bother reading all that or did you just scroll down to the bottom of the post - be honest!!

I read it all, but I am a fast reader... TBH all banks are going to have small inefficiencies and problems like this. I think you are just unlucky to have so many things happen to you (but if that list is over 10-15 years then its not too bad imo...)

[TheAnimus]

Lloyds have made quite a few mistakes in the last few years with me, each time they screw up thou, they give me money &#163;65!

I swear i've made quite a bit off their stupidity now.

[manwithnoname]

I read it all, but I am a fast reader... TBH all banks are going to have small inefficiencies and problems like this. I think you are just unlucky to have so many things happen to you (but if that list is over 10-15 years then its not too bad imo...)

tbh I expect all banks to be as incompetent as each other it's nearly 20 years of messing me about - if it had all happened in the space of a year or 2 I'd would probably moved on. All in all it's wasted a bit of my time but hasn't actually cost me hard cash nearly lost £20

I cashed a cheque at the bank and when to the post office to pay a bill and they said one of the £20's was fake. Took it back to the bank, the manager told me there was no way they would hand over a fake note over the counter, it just couldn't happen. I took it to the police station got a receipt, the coppa said he was 99% sure it was fake he'd send it off and get it checked if it was genuine they'd call me back to collect it - told him I got it from the bank and he wasn't surprised. When back to the bank with the receipt and told them the police said it was fake and they weren't surprised I got it from the bank. The Bank manager took me into his office and as a good will 'Jester' he held out a £20 note ... I was just about to take it when he snatched it back and held it up to the light - 'Why check one of your 100% genuine notes?'

Lloyds have made quite a few mistakes in the last few years with me, each time they screw up thou, they give me money £65!

I swear i've made quite a bit off their stupidity now.

Never thought about it been a money make exercise may be there is a more incompetent bank I could move to.

[TheAnimus]

my favourate one, was when i reported the a cash machine had actually undercharged me.

I reported this, they told me i was wrong. Fine, one month passed. Then they caught up. I rang them up, told them that they said i hadn't been undercharged, what's going on. Manager said sorry, their bad, and refunded me.

a perk of over zelous FSA regulation, all my calls are recorded by the compliance department, really does help with disputes.

[SiM]

Lol @ fake £20 story...

my favourate one, was when i reported the a cash machine had actually undercharged me.

I reported this, they told me i was wrong. Fine, one month passed. Then they caught up. I rang them up, told them that they said i hadn't been undercharged, what's going on. Manager said sorry, their bad, and refunded me.

a perk of over zelous FSA regulation, all my calls are recorded by the compliance department, really does help with disputes.

undercharged? or overcharged?

[sammyc]

Round of applause the 'Voicing your concerns' document was not enclosed

classic.

read the lot through, in fact outloud with suitable voices (don't worry, other persons were present) - very good & a darn sight more entertaining that what was on tv (buzzcocks, yawn...)

out of interest, what is too small small amount to transfer..?

undercharged? or overcharged?

underpaid or overpaid, even..?

[TheAnimus]

undercharged? or overcharged?

Undercharged, there where two notes that where dispatched, rather than just one.

[SiM]

Why would you complain about being undercharged?

[dave87]

In case they choose to notice at the most inopportune moment, and it bites you in the arse?

Or, it is the honest thing to do?

[TheAnimus]

whats the point of not doing the right thing for sod all gain.

[Stringent]

Change your bank mate. Most banks will gladly take a new customer and move all your debits and stuff over. I've used Natwest all my life and so far have had good service from them.

Oh and I did read it all. Can't believe they gave you a fake &#163;20 ...

[manwithnoname]

classic.

read the lot through, in fact outloud with suitable voices (don't worry, other persons were present) - very good & a darn sight more entertaining that what was on tv (buzzcocks, yawn...)

out of interest, what is too small small amount to transfer..?

&#163;1000 (it's not one of those offshore accounts either) - the successful amount transfered online a few days earlier was less than that.

The &#163;20 note story is great, it was quite distressing at the time ... [cue Hovis bread trumpet music YouTube - Hovis - Bike Ride] back in the day when &#163;20 was worth something ... bread was cheaper

[sammyc]

£1000, lol - no wonder you were nonplussed, I was thinking several decimal places less than that. I'm always shuttling cash between accounts but not four figures (sadly). Just wondered what the real minimum is - £1? 3p..? might go & try it.

nice link - never knew ridley scott directed that ad. (...visualizing alien wholemeal lifeforms... )

[manwithnoname]

£1000, lol - no wonder you were nonplussed, I was thinking several decimal places less than that. I'm always shuttling cash between accounts but not four figures (sadly). Just wondered what the real minimum is - £1? 3p..? might go & try it.

nice link - never knew ridley scott directed that ad. (...visualizing alien wholemeal lifeforms... )

... I'll expect a smug post about your successful 1p transfer.

And I never knew that about Mr Scott until you posted that . See my bank is great because in a convoluted way they increase my knowledge, Lloyds TSB thank you - keep up the crap work.