Things To Ponder

[Allen]

1. Can you cry under water?

2. When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just
"chunkydunk."

3. How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?

4. If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

5. Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a penny
for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

6. Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were
buried in for eternity?

7. Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

8. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it
would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

9. Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wakeup
like every two hours?

10. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

11. Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?

12. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?

13. How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for
Miss America?

14. If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

15. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting
clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up
in the first place!

16. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could
simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

17. Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you
haven't fallen asleep yet.

18. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

19. Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they
can in prison?

20. Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

[Fatboy]

Ah yes...and for some more words of wisdom:

Depression is just anger without enthusiasm.

Or more to my taste:

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

[steve threlfall]

Good stuff chaps

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call? good un

[Steve]

I know somebody who used to work on the phones for 999 (ambulance more specifically.) I think they'd just get directly in touch with the nearest available ambulance and have it "visit."

Damn, I ruined the whole pondering bit!

[shiato storm]

3. depends if they were killed through payment of a 'professional'...

5. I guess thats inflation for you. and an indication that the GBP is significantly stronger than the USD...

12. it gives us a sense of deity - if only briefly - to look down upon our fellows...

13. men are more concise...? or even that it takes that many women to pick out a good one...

14. grabs the shoulder of next door operator as they collapse backwards.

16. yeah but it would take to long to re-install all that stuff you got over the first 20 years, though as a bonus you'd lose any reference to girlfriend versions 1.0 to 5.0...

20. time to genetically modify fat cells to be intelligent then!!

[Allen]

There has to be one, doesn't there!!!

[Steve]

Yeah, you're right Big_Al - but look at his title - he CLAIMS to know knowing.

Bit of a smartarse if you ask me!

[Allen]

Yeah, I mean I live up to my title (ask PussyKat! ), so he should too!

[Punky]

15. Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

exchange rates enit!

[shiato storm]

its good to keep people in suspense and then surprise them by actually knowing stuff, though i claim to know very little...its not true i lied!!