A HEXUS christmas tale.

[matty-hodgson]

Would it be wrong to say I'm currently in my thrid year of an English degree, lol.
Thanks for the correction

Back to the story

and i got a B in my GCSE English and haven't taken up English at A-Level

[Million]

People need to stop putting full-stops in - the whole point is it's one long sentence!

On their way

[matty-hodgson]

they encountered a

[Rob_B]

large, unusually shaped

[TAKTAK]

Truncation!!

once upon a time
in the north
there lived a
boy called jimmy
who managed to
make a hash
of a thread
before not joining
in on the
game when it
started working as
he had wanted
some people decided
despite not being
at all sure
of their sexuality
or their facts
to stick up
for their beliefs
and their children
and a hosepipe
that was used
to cool down
cliff richard fans
who had just
poo-ed all over
this thread. When
santa claus said
ho ho hoes
to his elves
and mrs claus
who was busy
waxing her bikini
line, she responded
"ouch! That hurts!"
as she held
her bikini-line de-waxer
however, santa decided
that this time
christmas was cancelled
for poor people
because everyone knows
they don't have
access to credit
due to bankers
short trading tinsel
and stealing all
of santa's elves
by offering them
the playboy mansion
but pamela anderson
couldn't work out
her breast size
her friend, however
could do trigonometry.
On her nipples
meanwhile, in space
mono-gendered aliens were
cracking jokes about
poo nt ang
and parity errors
while they were
in bed with
a one eyed
pe do bear
prostitute who couldn't
give a head
because of her
distinct lack of
female reproductive organs
which unfortunately had
corroded, due to
lack of polishing
with a man's
large yellow duster.
Snow was falling
all around the
children singing, having
sweeties from strangers
that actually contained
nuts, which caused
the squirrels to
attack, beat, hunt
antony worrall thompson
and eat staffmike's
cable-tidying stash of
hardcore fetish porn
which was really
homevideos of himself
with his pc
doing things they
want matty todo
including, sticking a
taktak up matty's
big huge red
pet afgan refugee
pot-pourri snow monster
afterwards jimmy went
home to his
mother who was
having a ball
with rick astley
while watching the
flock by night
in her pants
which had a
open crotch, and
extractor fan to
keep her hot
pedobear is coming
with garry glitter
to the big
blue house. Then
spiderman arrived, riding
a big hairy
giagantic, enormous, humungous
mutated john mccririck
who bet on
superman being able
to give him
the very best
piggy-back ride to
china and back.
But in china
there be dragons
that can excrete
flaming monkey nuts
with the power
to perforate asbestos
. The bescumbered dragons
decided to follow
the chinese premier
along the yellow
large hadron collider
which then turned
against its creators
and gok wan
who really needs
stabbing. Reggae music
is really irritating.
So he went
to the shops
to purchase some
lubricant to go
behind his ears
to allow him
easy access into
the great big
lubricant wearing tournament
in which he
was the greatest
lubricant applying talent
in southern brighton
's gay community
until that was
banned for being
a form of
heresy. So instead
they all went
to bed, but
on their way
they encountered a
large, unusually shaped

floating head which

[Powderhound]

sank very frequently

[TAKTAK]

into the murky

[matty-hodgson]

,but nicely frangranced,

[Trash Man]

Sweat of a

[Million]

Gigantic Streptococcus bacterium

[shadowmaster]

that had mutated

[Trash Man]

Sea bass like

[TAKTAK]

into Rolf Harris

[Stewart]

who caught Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

[Trash Man]

off a tramp

[matty-hodgson]

who was wearing