Scumbags.

[Chanfron]

The incident as described fits the definition of common assault, if I had someone turn up on the doorstep and start insulting and yelling at me, I'd certainly fear for my safety, which is all that's needed, so hardly a false police report.

err sorry thats not what I read

After a bit of slagging off, and this womans drunk husband (Who obviously also doesn't work because he's pissed at 5pm on a Tuesday) starts trying to fight me. I've told him "Go on, hit me, I promise you I will press charges and you'll be spending the night in a cell"... by this point the woman, her husband, and their kid are on the street hurling abuse at me and i'm calling them all scumbags. The situation had obvsiously deteriorated beyond repair so I walked home.

An hour later and I get a phonecall from my mum telling me the police were at the door. I've spoken to the officer on the phone who tells me that unless I apologise for slapping this woman in the face (Which I absolutely did not) then he will have to arrest me under "suspision of assault" and do the whole process with statements and so on.

Assuming that the OP is telling the truth, we have a drunk person trying too or attempting to attack the OP, you then have three people against one in a heated slanging match, later you have the Police involved because the other party has phoned the police and said that the OP has slapped the woman in the face when he has not and the OP is now under threat of prossicution for something he has not done.

The other party has told the police the the OP slapped her when in reality he has not, how is this not a false report.
I am not saying the OP is 100% in the right regarding going round but the other party upset his mother so I can understand why.