Finnishing with the missus...

[Craig]

Right then.. where to start!

Me and the missus have been going out for about a year and four months, me being 17 and her being 16. We have shared our good times and bad times (as all couples do) but lately i seem to be getting pee'd off with her too much! There are many reasons for this but i will list a few!

1) She has her exams coming up soon (GCSE) and she says her perents have made her stay in alot to revise, and i have no problem with that i fully support it But, every other day she is at her friends (lets call her X) X, is a 16 year old slut, who has bedded more men than ive had hot dinners (and if you saw the size of me last year, you will know what i mean) Which is what i dont get, she says her perents dont let her out, but shes over there every other night. Tonight, we had arranged to see eachother (we only see eachother once a week, normally on a weekend, for about three hours) but i get a phone call on my way home from work "Oh hunny, im just going out for a meal with X and Y, im sorry, can we see eachother saturday?" to which i just pressed the little red blob on my phone! (Besides it being illegal to talk and drive, i was pissed off)

2) When the schools were off two weeks ago, i rang her up twice from work around dinner time, to find she wasnt at home (shes ment to be revising, remember?) both times she was out having "a walk" when i said "Ohh where u go?" she told me where she was, but both times i heard the TV on in the background, and some form of music. (Heh, guess what im thinking?)

There is more, but im basicly just fed up. We see eachother once a week, and it seems as if she dosent give a toss about seeing me! Also, from example #2, it seems shes out with someone she dosent want me to know about (be it cheating on me, i dont know!) So then, the question is... What would you do?

Cheers guys and gals!

Craig

PS. Ive been thinking about writing this thread for over two weeks now, so its not just a spur of the moment thing! Thankee

[Howard]

My advice would be to talk to her about you reckoning she's lieing to you, not giving a stuff, etc and if she doesn't give a good explanation threaten to finish with her

[Lead_Head]

Talk to her, face to face.... and tell her everything what you have said here... you've been together a long time, you should be open about these things,

You might as well talk to her sooner rather than later (i.e. not in the middle of her exams)... clears the air too...

You might be way off course and she might need help / support in some way... she might not realise she's annoying you...

Just some thoughts for you Just do what you thinks best

[Elmo]

If u arent happy, TELL HER you arent happy, it's the only way it's likely to get sorted out.

As Lead-head said, tell her exactly what u've said on here. If it's niggling, tell her, ask for her side. If it still doesnt add up or you still think she's lying, then you either dont or cant trust her. And what's a relationship without trust?

At the end of the day, u're 17, u and her have got your whole lives ahead of you. If it's meant to be, it'll happen. Maybe you bloth need to have a break, be with other people, then if it really is meant to be, you'll get back together in the future, if you dont get back together, it wasnt meant to be...

Just be honest with her, you never know, she might be honest with you...

[Galant]

You could be right sir, and she could be bored, or inconsiderate, or seeing someone else. However, just to throw out a possibility - it could be that there's nothing wrong.

The fact is that girls love and need their female pals. Especially at 16. A relationship consists of more than living in each other's pockets, and at her age, and yours, it gets pretty complicated with all those demands.

Communication I say. Could be you both have different expectations in the relationship, or right now, maybe this is her way of dealing with things. Girls will go to their friends about many things they wont go to a guy, even their boyfriend, about.

Talk with her. Explain your frustration, your desire to see more of her, and that you don't understand her behaviour. Do it nicely and respectfully.

Don't forget that exams will gone in a very short time, the current atmosphere will change quickly.

Also maybe ask yourself what you want out of a relationship. Do you really want a relationship and a partnership, are you just doing it for the buzz and pleasant feelings, or maybe even is it a way to push for emotional stability. I know this sounds like a psycho-analysis, but we're complex people, and need to keep an eye on ourselves, give things a lot of thought.

It's amazing how little serious thought most people give to relationships. How much thinking do we put into building a PC or choosing an upgrade? How much research will we do? Would we just decide, I want an upgrade, that one there has a nice name, or a pretty design, I'll stick that one in and see how it goes?

Too many people do that very thing with the most complex thing on the entire planet - a human relationship.

[Honoop]

Bless ya!
Everyone is right, you should definitely try and talk to her about this. And talk means TALK, its no good if the two of you are just going to argue about all the silly things that annoy you about one another. Fair enough it may make you feel better and clear the air a little, but if you start biting at one another things always get too nasty and someone always says something that they dont mean.

You two have been together quite a long while, especially considering that you are still pretty young. (Those were the days!) But unless you can talk to one another about everything and be honest then silly things like this will always come up.
As people before me have said she may not realise that she is annoying you and what you may not realise is that maybe she is reacting to something that you dont even realise you are doing?

Be cool - think about it alot, and be rational. But most of all - do whatever you gotta do to be happy.
It may sound cynical but you gotta look out for yourself - coz no-one else is gonna.
Keep Smiling!

(Ps. Galant - totally heartwarming..... )

[Galant]

Thanks Honoop.

These issues do come and go - but I say make the most of them. We are creatures of habit so rather than using excuses and easy exits, I say use the opportunity to build some character and discipline, and teach yourself how to respect a person and deal with them honourably. Too many people let dating, or young relationships, become practise for divorce - easy in/easy out - when they should be learning to fight for things, and to make sacrifices (the most sincere, deepest and truest form of love). One who can treat every person with respect, and handle their hearts with care - is one who will themselves gain respect and hold many friends.

I say respect to you sir for bringing this up and asking for advice rather than just tossing the issue and the girl aside!

I hope that whatever the outcome, all things work out for the best.

Grace be with you.

[Oakey]

Torture her until she tells you the truth, then kill her and her Chav bit on the side.

[steve threlfall]

Torture her until she tells you the truth, then kill her and her Chav bit on the side.

Talk to her but be prepared to give her, her space- she must be under a lot of pressure especially with exams looming as they are

Maybe she's with friends a lot because she doesnt want/fell able to burden you with her troubles? espeically about a subject she feels you will find totally trivial.

[Jonny M]

I like Oakeys thinking

[shiato storm]

talk to her face to face, if she can't answer without looking away or acting all shy then tell her to stop being immature and give it to you straight - after all a straight question deserves a straight answer.
personaly i can't stand anyone who cheats on their other half. no time of day for them really, weakness of character - if they're not happy then they have every right to say 'lets call it a day' instead of palying around...that goes for both men and women, but I find women can be more crafty in this respect. infact 75-80% of the time its the women doing he cheating...
if she keeps being all silly and skirting round the subject then mate, you're better off without that kind of mind-messing going on. and if her friend's an utter chav then...well, guess you probably know what most would think.
similarly if she has intentionally been avoiding you for what ever reason and fails to give acceptable excuse for her behaviour, such as "I'm revising tonight" when infact she's out on the lash with chav...show her the door.
Chin up mate, if she's worth it she'll give you solid answers

[Russ]

Torture her until she tells you the truth, then kill her and her Chav bit on the side.

lol well said.

if u want to stay with her, let her know, dont break up with some one to sleep with some one else to make sure you were right first time, cuases more heartache.

[daniel_owen_uk]

Sodium Pentothal is what you want m8 (been watching kill bill too much), its the only way to get the truth

But seriously what everyone else is saying is bang on right, ask her, if she is upset then so be it, better to find out and know where you stand.

[TomWilko]

You need to talk to her, face to face, without doubt.

[richy]

hi mate i think the best thing to do would be to sit down and have a good talk with her there maybe a perfectly good explanation for this remember that it takes two people to make a relationship to work but it can only take 1 to ruin it tell her this if your not happy then you should confront her all the best m8..

Right then.. where to start!

Me and the missus have been going out for about a year and four months, me being 17 and her being 16. We have shared our good times and bad times (as all couples do) but lately i seem to be getting pee'd off with her too much! There are many reasons for this but i will list a few!

1) She has her exams coming up soon (GCSE) and she says her perents have made her stay in alot to revise, and i have no problem with that i fully support it But, every other day she is at her friends (lets call her X) X, is a 16 year old slut, who has bedded more men than ive had hot dinners (and if you saw the size of me last year, you will know what i mean) Which is what i dont get, she says her perents dont let her out, but shes over there every other night. Tonight, we had arranged to see eachother (we only see eachother once a week, normally on a weekend, for about three hours) but i get a phone call on my way home from work "Oh hunny, im just going out for a meal with X and Y, im sorry, can we see eachother saturday?" to which i just pressed the little red blob on my phone! (Besides it being illegal to talk and drive, i was pissed off)

2) When the schools were off two weeks ago, i rang her up twice from work around dinner time, to find she wasnt at home (shes ment to be revising, remember?) both times she was out having "a walk" when i said "Ohh where u go?" she told me where she was, but both times i heard the TV on in the background, and some form of music. (Heh, guess what im thinking?)

There is more, but im basicly just fed up. We see eachother once a week, and it seems as if she dosent give a toss about seeing me! Also, from example #2, it seems shes out with someone she dosent want me to know about (be it cheating on me, i dont know!) So then, the question is... What would you do?

Cheers guys and gals!

Craig

PS. Ive been thinking about writing this thread for over two weeks now, so its not just a spur of the moment thing! Thankee

[shiato storm]

and so, what has transpired then??
did you bring out the classic homer simpson line "welcome to dumpsville, population you!" or a more resonable "lets see more of each other...[so on and so forth]"...? well?