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About LinkBacksSpeaking as someone who is doing the slimming world plan you will find your confidence does go up once you start loosing the weight. I've lost nearly 2 stone in the 2 months I've been goingOriginally Posted by Lucio
Speaking as someone who is doing the slimming world plan you will find your confidence does go up once you start loosing the weight. I've lost nearly 2 stone in the 2 months I've been going
Well, I used Google and I have friends really into it (one just married to a Cuban lad yesterday). I can only suggests places in London though, but I don't think they are uncommon. I have friends in Oxford, Aberdeen and Edinburgh who've joined such classes so most found everywhere.
As for looks, won't tell you that it doesn't matter at all, but maybe not as much as you think. That said, exercise will help on the weight side (and confidence) and is good for your health.
Should note that not every ladies in those classes are at their best either (from what I've seen, they'll be a mix but most are quite fit), so it's important that you enjoy the activity too. It may well be that it'll bring you closer to another salsa enthusiast outside class through chance encounters
Get yourself a set of weights and build up a 6 pack and some pecs, girls go crazy for that.
I've been training pretty hard for about 10 weeks now, lost 2 stone in excess weight, was only 12 stone 4 when I started. And I've managed to cut my BFI down to about 9%.
If you're definitely wanting to lose a large amount of weight, try running. Jog a mile at first and slowly work your way up to 3 or 4 miles, you'll be amazed at how fast your body will get used to the running and how easy it will get. Also, try throwing in 10-15s bursts of all out springing - that's a very good gut-buster!
Also, you've mentioned that you think you're ugly, you don't want this attitude if you're wanting to find someone. And remember, if you start getting fitter and and build up some muscle, your face will completely change shape, maybe that might help you with confidence
I wish you all the best with finding a girl, I know you've had a tough time with stuff so I hope you can sort everything out and be much happier
Ya know, reading back over this thread makes me wonder what on earth is wrong with me. I'm a depressed, asocial weirdo who hates the idea of physical exercise and yet has felt it necessary to get ideas on how to get his arse in gear.
Makes you wonder how much of depression is self inflicted, and not because you're weak, stupid or useless, but because you believe the lies your brain comes up with.
EDIT: Officially Crazy! Contacted the local Rosemary Connelly group to see if they take men, they include 45 minutes of exercise, twice a week. Gotta be better than nothing esp. if I can stick to their diet.
Last edited by Lucio; 23-06-2010 at 10:12 PM.
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This is bunny and friends. He is fed up waiting for everyone to help him out, and decided to help himself instead!
I've considered it in the past, merely for the fact that I never had a enough time to socialise and meet new people.
But now, I still don't even have enough time for all that (speed dating) :-(
Maybe in a few months when I get bored of my current situation.
You still have a lot to learn about girls
Well, yeah, but you can't help but believe it because it's all screwy. Darn tricky to get out of, but once you do, it gets easier to set aside what your brain is telling you and to rationalise around it
Excellent. Exercise helps, and a structured, social occasion will help the motivation to keep at it.EDIT: Officially Crazy! Contacted the local Rosemary Connelly group to see if they take men, they include 45 minutes of exercise, twice a week. Gotta be better than nothing esp. if I can stick to their diet.
If you don't have enough time for hobbies, how do you think you'd have enough time for a significant other?
He speaks the truth, you need to impress the girl before the clothes start to come off!You still have a lot to learn about girls
Everything you consider Lucio, do it! If you get asked & you hesitate...then do it, if you see it advertised & wonder...do it!! Unless you have a, definite reason (ie your a man and its women only), do it! let nothing hold you back!
Everytime I hesitate before going over & talking to a girl I think to myself ''What's the worse that can happen''...ie she says no, i smile and thank her anyway and walk away (nothing lost, nothing gained), followed by ''What's the best that can happen?''...ie she's the one, my life changes for ever. I then go over & say hi!
normally by the time your at the state when intimate physical appearance matters they are already committed and thankfully most know that, otherwise I'd be a lot more seething than I currently am
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PeterStoba (24-06-2010)
This reminds me I should really start doing my rowing machine... I seem to be developing a caramel center and people are beginning to poke me
Exercise is always a good thing to do if you want to feel a bit more upbeat it... do little then build it up then you won't feel so glum! oh and cut out the wheat and booze... first two weeks without those you'll notice how much better you'll be... most of all will power! good luck
Yeah, girls might go crazy for that but women sometimes want a bit of substance. If your aim is to simply get laid or pick up a decent looking, possibly high maintenance girl then that’s fine. If you’re looking for something longer term with a woman then that advise isn't really applicable.Get yourself a set of weights and build up a 6 pack and some pecs, girls go crazy for that.
Also, you've mentioned that you think you're ugly, you don't want this attitude if you're wanting to find someone. And remember, if you start getting fitter and and build up some muscle, your face will completely change shape, maybe that might help you with confidence
Excuse the clichés but don’t be something you’re not. If you’re not a social butterfly with an extraverted personality then your chances of meeting someone at a pub or club is limited. Drawing on the hobby suggestion, this is an excellent start. Partake in activities that you enjoy, thus increasing your chances of meeting someone with similar interests. Judgemental stigma aside, there’s always internet dating. If you’re open to what the Internet has to offer then so does a prospective partner.
physical attraction is, of course, important. But I agree with the notion that it's not everything.
I actually like my imperfections and the fact I'm not a terribly handsome guy means I have to rely on my personality to attract anyone.
If someone shows an interest, I know it's in the person that I am, as opposed to how I look.
Don't try to change yourself, just work on promoting your best features and you'll be good to go
Lucio,
Don't forget that when you start to exercise this can actually help lift your mood due to all the endorphins and other chemicals released within the body.
You might find as you start to progress with a bit of active exercise that your mood lifts and you feel better about yourself and several reports have indicated this
Don't worry mate. One of my previous ex left me and hooked up with a fat, ugly and non-ginger guy. You still have hope. Just go out and meet more people. Just be happy and more confident.
I have to echo what most people are saying. Physical attractiveness isn't everything but it will help if you sort your body out.
My ex was really attractive and slim and I was a fat balding geek rapidly approaching middle age (see looks are not everything). She left me after 9 years together and I realised I had to sort myself out. So.. shaved head for that prison break look and a couple of months of diet and excersise and I now look pretty good. In fact my new girlfriend is a lapdancer! I am sure she wouldn't have gone for me the way I looked before but still I think that making the most of what you have will lift your general mood and confidence and just make you feel much better. Once you get that positive mentality about yourself, things will happen for you.
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Guessing it's one of the main 'establishments' like Blue Velvet and not some shady backstreet one
Shows that (generally) the women who only are interested in looks aren't the kind of person you want to be in a relationship. Sure physical attractiveness plays a part but if she is a stunner and close to braindead there isnt much hope of a meaningful conversation
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