Ok, so here's my dilemma, there's a new woman at work and we've been getting along really well, a few late night Skype conversations and a bit of light flirting. Trouble is, we work together, literally side by side.
Should I just enjoy having someone nice to work with, or try for something more??
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This is bunny and friends. He is fed up waiting for everyone to help him out, and decided to help himself instead!
If you're doing late night skype sessions it may already be pretty difficult to just ignore it. I'm hardly an expert on these things but I guess it depends on how much you like her.
If it's just going to be a fling which may end awkwardly then I'd leave it. If you really like her and think you could have something with her, then go for it!
~'Armaments, universal debt, and planned obsolescence--those are the three pillars of Western prosperity'~ Aldous Huxley
Pretty much as format says - and while hating to pour cold water on things before they start, think about what could happen if things fell apart - could you carry on working together?
And is she looking for something more than a little light flirting? Late night Skype would suggest yes - but tread warily!
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Which is easier for you to find, the job or the right girl?Originally Posted by Lucio
I've dated co-workers in a firm that employed 200 people, and a firm that employed 35,000+ people. It's a hell of a lot easier in the small firm because everyone knows quickly and it becomes old newsThen again, I did get dubbed the kiss of death, after a disproportionately large percentage of girls I'd pulled got fired.
Hope that advice helps.
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if you have a fling.. you're in danger of not getting on afterwards = career fail
if yuo DO get on well... and last the length.. you do NOT want to work with your other half... ever = career fail
sorry... not what yuo wanna hear I don't think!
DR (13-10-2011)
i work with my girl and have done for years....hasnt caused any problems! apart from "that" period when it did become difficult, but different shifts made it easier...maybe you two are better of as friends as you work so closely together?
It was so small that mine wouldn't fit into it
2 things.
1) Does either of you have a position of responsibility over the other? If you do then conflicts of interest arise, and this becomes a completely different question.
2) if it didn't work out, would it really force you out of a job? Do you honestly believe that you, or they, are that unprofessional?
From a personal POV - I started an office romance almost 8 years ago. We've now been married five years and run a company together. I once catered a wedding for two of my friends; they've been working together for over 8 years.
Seriously - if your personal relationships with your workmates are intefering with your career, then you're doing something wrong. I have worked with partners, I've worked with friends, I've worked with people whose guts I have hated with a passion. It shouldn't make any difference to how you deal with those people professionally. I accept that is harder for some people than others, and I'm sure other people can cite examples where an office romance has gone horribly wrong, but it's not my experience.
At the end of the day it's up to you to decide whether you can handle having a professional relationship with someone you are dating / have dated, but the question really boils down to this: is either of you sufficiently unprofessional to let a relationship - successful or otherwise - get in the way of your job? If the answer to that question isn't "no, of course not", I'd suggest at least one of you needs to do some hard thinking...
It's so difficult. I dated a girl from work for a couple of months, she really did tick all the right boxes, but after a few months I just didn't *feel* like I could truly commit to something serious and knocked it on the head. She understood and we still smile & say hello in passing but every time i see her it knocks me off my stride a bit. This is despite having a new girlfriend I am very happy with, yet it is still that 'what if I'd done things differently...' moment that really can make my head spin.
It's not what you want to hear mate, but Im with Zak. I'd try and avoid it. Short flings, long flings, relationships... there are always feelings after they have ended and no matter how it was to end, you would find it very difficult sitting so close to her & seeing her on a day to day business (and vice versa).
24/7 with a partner isn't going to be terribly healthy either.
If you go into a relationship wondering what will happen if it fails, you're off to a bad start.
What about just giving it a go and seeing what happens? My wife and I got together at a company do. We worked in the same department. She was senior to me but not my direct boss, and it worked ok. We kept it secret for quite a while and nobody had a clue, but we were nervous about what people would say once it got out. When we did eventually let it out, there was a bit of a kerfuffle but within a few days it wasn't news any more. I now don't work with her, but we're still married, and us being married didn't affect our careers.
Its a gamble, but if you do the deed make sure you let her know you wont let this get in the way of your job (you after all have bills to pay!).
Ultimately it comes down to this: Is she fit?
jackvdbuk (14-10-2011)
This, a hundreds times this.
I don't even understand people who think work is more important than relationships, we are social beings. If you can't manage a relationship at work you are doing something terribly wrong.
scaryjim (14-10-2011)
I'm with smudger, let your balls do the thinking like any red blooded male would.
HEXUS FOLDING TEAM It's EASY
Smudger (14-10-2011)
I would ask a different question from TheAnimus, is it more important to find the right job or the right girl? Do you work to live or live to work? If you think it feels right run with it, if you feel its just a bit of fun, it probably will miss up your job.
(\__/) All I wanted in the end was world domination and a whole lot of money to spend. - NMA
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You arse, can't believe it came out like this. Sleeping your way to the top or something?
We might not be that way inclined, know, live, or work together... but that's never stopped love...
kasavien (14-10-2011)
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