To Break wind or not to break wind (at work)

[Romanov]

Hi,
Im in an open office very quiet with alot of studious types around (in the city) Im currently holding on here but should I just let rip to see what the reaction is I reckon I can hold for 10 mins !!!!

[Grey M@a]

just let rip and share the fruits of your labour with your work mates then let us know how it went lol

[Jimmy Little]

i work in a school so i let a low pitch one go, and watch the kids hold the nose and blame each other! i'm on a diet so my wind is bad!!

[Grey M@a]

i work in a school so i let a low pitch one go, and watch the kids hold the nose and blame each other! i'm on a diet so my wind is bad!!

So it was the teachers when we were at school, you dirty gets

[sybrows]

Go for a silent but deadly one.
BroW

[Spunkey]

i squeeze a let my air biscuits go quietly. At home i just let rip as loud as i can

Thankfully there is a lot of people in the area i work so you cant exactly detect the angle the odour came from

only problem is if someone smells it i cant hold the laughter

*edit* 200th post and who'd have thunk it'd be about farting

[Jimmy Little]

So it was the teachers when we were at school, you dirty gets

i would say so! it cracks me up... the funny thing is when i make a smell some crazy kids tries to claim it as there own!

[Butuz]

Let rip! Its the only way of finding out if your coworkers really respect you. If they do respect you they will laugh and banter, one of them may even burp right in your face. If they do not respect you they will moan and probably tell the boss on you.

Butuz

[Skeps]

Just let rip mate, if anyone has a problem with it, waft the stench in their direction

[lynni]

do a quiet one....

or better still find the bloody loo's

[Butuz]

breaking wind really is the fastest way to tell if someone likes you or not. It works well with the ladies too, if they do like you they will not mind, if they do not like you a farteh will bring this to your attention.

Butuz

[Jimmy Little]

use the old fashion "drop and move" as long as it's not a 'sticky bomb' you will get away with it

[Big RICHARD]

See if you can do the full trombone range in one go!

[Spunkey]

See if you can do the full trombone range in one go!

careful not to follow through though

[Big RICHARD]

How about some crop-dusting:

>For those who hate pooing at work, following is the Guide for taking a dump
>at work.
>
>CROP DUSTING - When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the
>smell
>is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where
>it
>came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has
>been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your
>pants.
>
>FLY BY - The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooing. Walk in and
>check
>for other pooers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back
>again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become
>suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.
>
>ESCAPEE - A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or
>forcing
>a poo in a cubicle. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of
>embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it
>did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal,
>pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee.
>It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both
>parties feel uneasy.
>
>
>
>JAILBREAK. When forcing a poo, several farts slip out at a machine gun
>pace.
>This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should
>happen, do not panic. Remain in the cubicle until everyone has left the
>bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.
>
>COURTESY FLUSH The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poo hits the
>water. This reduces the amount of air time the poo has to stink up the
>bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.
>
>WALK OF SHAME - Walking from the cubicle, to the sink, to the door after
>you
>have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if
>someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that
>the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY
>FLUSH.
>
>OUT OF THE CLOSET POOER. - A colleague who poos at work and is proud of it.
>You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooer enter the bathroom with a
>newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the office
>for the Out Of The Closet Pooer before entering the bathroom. THE POOING
>FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N) A group of co-workers who band together to ensure
>emergency pooing goes off without incident. This group can help you to
>monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Pooers, and identify SAFE
>HAVENS.
>
>SAFE HAVENS. - A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you
>can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the
>opposite
>sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooer of your sex entering the
>bathroom.
>
>
>
>TURD BURGLAR. Someone who does not realize that you are in the
>>cubicle and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking
>and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poo at work. If this
>occurs, remain in the cubicle until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you
>will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
>
>
>
>CAMO-COUGH - A phoney cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom
>that you are in a cubicle. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to
>alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with
>an ASTAIRE.
>
>
>
>ASTAIRE. A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars
>that
>you are occupying a cubicle. This will remove all doubt that the cubicle is
>occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately the pooer
>can poo in peace.
>
>
>
>WATERMELON. - A poo that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet
>water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon
>>coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.
>
>
>
>HAVANA OMELET. A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud
>>splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a
>Camo-Cough with an Astaire.
>
>UNCLE TED A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend
>extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An
>Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as
>>you should always wait to poo when the bathroom is empty. This benefits
>you
>as well as the other bathroom attendees.

[Spunkey]

ROFPMSLFAO

OMG i just died laughing