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Thread: If we believed everything in the movies...

  1. #1
    HEXUS.social member Allen's Avatar
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    Talking If we believed everything in the movies...

    Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people -- whether they are employed or not.

    At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

    Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

    Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.

    It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

    When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

    If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.

    Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.

    Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

    All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

    All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

    It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

    Once applied, lipstick will never rub off even while scuba diving.

    You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

    Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do.

    The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

    A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

    If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

    If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

    Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.

    Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

    All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

    A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

    If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.

    Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

    When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.

  2. #2
    Moving shadows... Zedmeister's Avatar
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    Evil guys will empty entire machine guns at good guys and hit nothing but air, where as the good guys will kill em all with single shots and still have enough bullets for that macho "Posing while shooting the machine gun" look

    Every computer system can be defeated with the careful application of the special hidden command "Override"

    All evil lairs have a big button marked "Do Not Press - Self Destruct"

  3. #3
    Pixel Abuser Spunkey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Big_Al
    Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
    LOL

    MENDOZAAAAA!!!
    McBain from the Simpsons before you ask

  4. #4
    - Exotic Love Potion Moonshade's Avatar
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    This was great stuff !

    "You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home." - Good one!
    Love, Peace and Linux

  5. #5
    Senior Member ajbrun's Avatar
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    and which site was this copied from (good find! )?

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    HEXUS.Metal Knoxville's Avatar
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    If a good guy encounters the bad guy within the first hour of the film he can be the cia's top marksman and he won't hit the bad guy running away from him even though he's only 20 feet away

  7. #7
    No more Mr Nice Guy. Nick's Avatar
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    The good guy's 'six shot' revolver never needs to be reloaded. If he it using a semi-automatic pistol, he has an inifnte supply of spare clips in his back pocket.

    Women being chased will always run looking over their shoulder and trip over nothing at all.

    Women being chased who have tripped suddenly lose the ability to get back up and start running again.

    Women being chased who do not trip will find a set of stairs and run up them, making sure they have no way out at the top.

    When your gun runs out of ammo, throw it at your attacker.

    All computer geniuses wear thick lensed glasses.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dareos View Post
    "OH OOOOHH oOOHHHHHHHOOHHHHHHH FILL ME WITH YOUR.... eeww not the stuff from the lab"

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