The Hexus Christmas story

[sammyc]

'Yikes!' exclaimed Santa as Curiosity plummeted to earth, 'hope it doesn't land on Cat-the-Fifth! Now, about that raspberry pie', speeding up at the thought. The reindeer were getting tired of flying in circles - Blitzen was muttering under his breath, and Comet had folded altogether and was now just a liability. Finally they were within sight of home, when..

[Tumble]

Comet finally let go and exploded all over the sky. Santa, being a cool headed bloke calmly grabbed a passing pigeon and stuffed it into what was left of the hapless reindeer, feathering the now useless damaged animal and reducing the aerodynamic drag on the vehicle. He started to look for somewhere reasonably hospitable to put down when.....

[Dareos]

...he spotted a herd of Moose on a snow covered hill in the distance "Aha" he thought, " that looks like a soft place to land and at least there will be a plentiful food supply if I get stranded" So he angled his sleigh carefully towards the hilltop and went slowly hurtling towards the ground in the crash position (behind a blow up doll with Sammyc tagged to the toe). Just before impact he looked down and saw that the Mars Rover appeared to have locked onto his position and was following him....

[alpha channel]

...when he finally crashes into the Moose herd, hooves and antlers flying in every direction, Santa's hat landing on a stunned Moose, hanging off his horn at a jaunty angle. Legs in the air, surrounded by presents and buried head first in a snow drift he begins to dig himself out when he hears the whirr of Curiosity coming up over the hill. Unable to focus Santa simply stares at the car sized robot as it stops in front of him, framed nicely by his legs, of which he seemingly has four, as it unships the mobile lab, the arm moving down towards him.

[razer121]

At this moment santa is in such a daze he does not know what to do! meanwhile in the labs of the mars rover the team are getting excited....when suddenly...

[CAT-THE-FIFTH]

....a grumpy Elk turns up and yells,"Bloody MOOSE!"

[stevie lee]

for it was the blood soaked desheveled bloody moose santa had just crashed into. how? you may ask.
well that santa magic transfered to the moose, allowing him to get round the world in a blink of an eye. and he stopped off to get some elk friends as backup.

"lets get me some santa fritters" exclaimed the moose, "i'm going to slice him up, like he just did my aunt bessie!"

[CAT-THE-FIFTH]

...not realising the inherent grumpiness of Elk had turned the Moose from a happy go lucky creature to something more sinister and non-teacake loving!

[melon]

...not realising the inherent grumpiness of Elk had turned the Moose from a happy go lucky creature to something more sinister and non-teacake loving!

A POKEMON !!
No less by the name of moosquito
who spoke only in Japanese and smoked like a Bandito.

" Im sorry " said Elk I have no idea what your saying...

And Moosquito said...

m

[g8ina]

メリークリスマス

[sammyc]

(you thought it was all over, well think again suckers.. )

still dazed from the impact, Santa lay half-conscious, unaware of the danger he was in from the charging Moose, til a chillblast of air brought him round. Sidestepping the angry vengeful beast, he dived back into his sleigh, and using its state-of-the-art pinch-to-zoom facility, gave the nearest reindeer a sharp nip between finger & thumb, causing it to accelerate violently. The sleigh swooped and swerved away, and as it flew on, water cooled by the icy temperatures formed biting sleet. Santa pulled his coat tighter around him, glad of its woolly comfort TM. Checking his calendar watch Santa saw it was the 22nd December. 'Dammit', he said, 'looks like Christmas is still on then'. He still had piles of presents to deliver, including hundreds of the latest iPud*. Some gifts were not even wrapped, or labelled - Santa grabbed a handful of gift tags from a handy tag cloud, and fixed them to parcels, hoping he had not mixed any up. Hexus had been quite difficult to buy for - it already had a razer, and a multi-jim, and some Quality Streetster.. Pondering the work he still had to do, Santa pressed on over the frosty rooftops towards his destination, unaware that he had caught his sleeve on a broken pointy bit of Curiosity, and was now unravelling at the end of a long, drawn-out, hopelessly frayed thread...


* a tiny gadget capable of storing many portions of apple pie and apple crumble and serving them up on demand, though only if you eat them with the special bowl & spoon.

[razer121]

If the torn thread was not bad enough it would seem that the makers of the iPud got wind of Santa failing to deliver them all, due to this they decided that opening a case against Santa was the best and only possible option left for them to pursue. Meanwhile the moose had somehow arrived at Hexus HQ...