Email to a University - Asking a question..

[Lead_Head]

Is there anyway I can improve this email? I know emails are kinda informal, rather than a letter, and phoning them would be a better option, but I can explain things better in text.. I hope..

So... can you think of any other way I can re-word this... or improve it?

Cheers in advance!

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am considering applying to your university to study an area within IT and computing. From browsing on your website I have narrowed down a few courses which I am looking to find out more information about on your open day which I will be attending on XXth Xxxxx, in particular the “X DEGREE” (UCAS code XXXX) degree.

The entry requirements for this course state “GCSE English language and mathematics to at least grade C, plus XXX points from at least two GCE/VCE A levels”. I finished my A-Levels in July 2003, earning grade ‘X’ for Business Studies, again a X for Information Communication Technology and an ‘X’ for Communication Studies. According to the UCAS tariff calculator, this adds up to XXX points, 40 points short of the requirement for the XXXX degree.

During my time away from education I have been working full-time for XxXxX Ltd. in Nottingham, starting off in there Customer Liaison team in MONTH 2003, then in DIFF MONTH 2003 being promoted to the ‘Service Quality Team’. My role as part of a team requires me to run and produce daily and ad-hoc reports using SQL within an Oracle environment, using a reporting program called Business Objects and also Microsoft Access along with various other bespoke software – and then send them out to the business.

Would my work experience contribute any points or accreditation towards my degree application to compensate for the 40 points difference?

I look forward to hearing from you,

Regards,
FULL NAME

[EDIT]: Obviously I have blanked some words with X's because of personal reasons - and job security

[Lee]

Seriously, you'd be better off phoning the admissions tutor in that department.

[Butuz]

Your work experience will make up for lack of points of the work has something to do with the degree.

Fire off the mail and see. Phoning is just so eighties, i hate talking to people

Butuz

[Lead_Head]

Seriously, you'd be better off phoning the admissions tutor in that department.

Thanks for your response.

It's going to the Admissions department of the University, as I dont know the right person to phone to contact.

[Honoop]

This is by no means perfect but because it is a professional letter you need to keep the reader interested to get all the information you want from them. I have tried to take out some of the 'waffle' - no offence, it was good stuff but not all entirely necessary. Have also reworded a couple of bits.

As I said it isnt perfect but may give you a few ideas for tidying up your original.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am interested in studying an area within IT and have recently been researching courses on the internet. From browsing your website I have narrowed down a few courses and am writing to request some information about your open day which I will be attending on xxth xxxxxx.

I am particularly interested in the "X Degree" (UCAS Code XXX).
The entry requirements state GCSE English Language and Mathematics minimum Grade C plus xxx points from at lease two CSE/VCE A Levels.
I completed my A-levels in July 2003 from which I obtained Grade X for Business Studies and Information Communication Technology and an X for Communication Studies. According to the UCAS tariff calculator I have xxx points which is 40 short of the requirement for the "X Degree". Since finishing my A-levels I have been working for XXXXXX Ltd, based in Nottingham. My role as part of a team requires me to run, produce and distribute daily and ad-hoc reports using SQL within an Oracle environment, using a reporting program called Business Objects and Microsoft Access along with various other bespoke software. Could you please advise me whether the relevant work experience I have gained since my A-levels could be used to contribute any points or accreditation towards my degree application?

I look forward to hearing from you,

Yours faithfully,
FULL NAME

Hope this helps?!

And Good Luck!

[stytagm]

I Agree with honoop, less waffle is better. Only addition I'd make is to break up that last paragraph. Don't worry about them looking short, it makes it super easy to read and if the guy is only scanning it, not reading it, will make his eye stop at more places, which is good for you.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am interested in studying an area within IT and have recently been researching courses on the internet. From browsing your website I have narrowed down a few courses and am writing to request some information about your open day which I will be attending on xxth xxxxxx.

I am particularly interested in the "X Degree" (UCAS Code XXX).
The entry requirements state GCSE English Language and Mathematics minimum Grade C plus xxx points from at lease two CSE/VCE A Levels.

I completed my A-levels in July 2003 from which I obtained Grade X for Business Studies and Information Communication Technology and an X for Communication Studies. According to the UCAS tariff calculator I have xxx points which is 40 short of the requirement for the "X Degree". Since finishing my A-levels I have been working for XXXXXX Ltd, based in Nottingham.

My role as part of a team requires me to run, produce and distribute daily and ad-hoc reports using SQL within an Oracle environment, using a reporting program called Business Objects and Microsoft Access along with various other bespoke software. Could you please advise me whether the relevant work experience I have gained since my A-levels could be used to contribute any points or accreditation towards my degree application?

I look forward to hearing from you,

Yours faithfully,
FULL NAME

You want his eye to catch on SQL and Oracle, so he knows you've worked with grown up computing techs.

[Lead_Head]

Cheers for your responses guys, I'm gonna change a few words and break it up a little and send it within the next hour or so

Thanks!

[Lee H]

Just a quicky - How old are you ?

When I got my A levels, I changed and did a GNVQ adv in IT with additionals in Maths and Stats. When I did the UCAS forms etc, my Uni where I did a BSc in IT classed me as a "mature" student ( jeez - I was 21 at the time ) and said I would have gone on the course even if I didn't have 1/2 the grades I had.

I would check with them what their criteria for "mature students" is and what they class as mature.

[Lead_Head]

I've just turned 20, and it says on the website something about mature students being 21 or over... which would make sense.

[Atomic]

It's going to the Admissions department of the University, as I dont know the right person to phone to contact.

Phone the main university contact number then. The people on reception there will soon point you through to the right person, its what they get paid to do!

[turkster]

Phone the main university contact number then. The people on reception there will soon point you through to the right person, its what they get paid to do!

I wouldnt bet on it .

I think you really need to get this to the right person in the department you are applying for. I doubt main reception will know much about it. I'd say try and get hold of department secretary etc and find a good contact in the department.

You dont really want some guy in the admissions office reading it and chucking it before it gets to somone who knows what they are talking about. I dont know what the system is like over in the UK but even here where the college places are very strictly allocated according to points by the CAO the individual college departments can still let people in if they want .

[Lead_Head]

I wouldnt bet on it .

I think you really need to get this to the right person in the department you are applying for. I doubt main reception will know much about it. I'd say try and get hold of department secretary etc and find a good contact in the department.

You dont really want some guy in the admissions office reading it and chucking it before it gets to somone who knows what they are talking about. I dont know what the system is like over in the UK but even here where the college places are very strictly allocated according to points by the CAO the individual college departments can still let people in if they want .

I've sent it now, but I'm going to the open day coming up soon so will speak to someone face to face

[turkster]

I've sent it now, but I'm going to the open day coming up soon so will speak to someone face to face

Cool. Make sure you are well prepared/know what you want to say etc (i know I'd end up standing in front of them looking like a mute fool ), and good luck .

[Lead_Head]

Yeh I'm gonna take a load of booklets and information I've printed off over a few areas

Thanks guys!