De Beers and the engagement ring rule

[peterb]

Which time was that? Traditionally it was the woman('s family) who had to put up assurance money for that sort of thing

True, although the Dowry was usually paid after the wedding took place

Either party can do the jilting.

Indeed. But when an engagement itself was regarded as a contract, if the woman broke it, she would return the ring, if the man broke it, she would keep it.

[Ttaskmaster]

Which time was that? Traditionally it was the woman('s family) who had to put up assurance money for that sort of thing

860AD, roughly, according to Pope Nicholas I.
Basically - "If she breaks the engagement, or it becomes broken, he gets the ring back. But if he breaks the engagement, she keeps it as compensation".

However:
"In England and Wales, the gift of an engagement ring is presumed to be an absolute gift to the fiancée. This presumption may be rebutted however by proving that the ring was given on condition (express or implied) that it must be returned if the marriage did not take place, for whatever reason."
Jacobs v Davis, 1917

As for the other stuff:
Her family puts up the Dowry, which is there to provide for her (and any children) in case the husband dies, turns out to be negligent, or similar. This only happens at the point of marriage, though.
You also have the Bride Price, paid to the bride's family as compensation for their loss of her labour and fertility, and the Dower or Morning Gift, which is paid by the groom directly to the bride to cover her (and any kids) in the event she becomes a widow.

[iamlorro]

We had a family heirloom 'spare', so we we're able to use that

I would not have been able to afford a month or two's salary- too many fixed outgoings.

My lady is happy with her ring, following an adjustment (we kept the removed gold....somewhere...) and we've no plans to replace it.

[ik9000]

2 months is ridiculous! and 1 month is BS invented by De Beers, go with what you're happy paying. Trust me, once you have it, it's what it means to you both that matters, not what spec it was. I've never seen or heard anyone having a peeing competition over the spec of their/their partner's ring or what it cost. And if those are the sort of friends you have, they might not be worth it!