Results 1 to 15 of 15

Thread: Some choice chav jokes

  1. #1
    Senior Member Shad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    In front
    Posts
    2,782
    Thanks
    23
    Thanked
    42 times in 25 posts

    Some choice chav jokes

    What do you call a Chav in a box?
    Innit.

    What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?
    Sorted.

    What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?
    Safe.

    What do you call an Eskimo Chav?
    Innuinnit.

    Why are Chavs like slinkies?
    They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of
    stairs.

    What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
    The bride.

    If you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
    It might be your bike.

    What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
    One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.

    What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
    "What you lookin' at?"

    How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
    Paint three stripes on it.

    Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
    The police.

    What do you say to a chav in a suit?
    "Would the defendent please rise?"

    The Government approached Chav's to ask them if they would like to join
    the single currency in Europe.
    The Chav's replied that they would prefer to keep the Giro.

    Policeman: You're under arrest.
    Chav: What the f*ck for?
    Policeman: Swearing at a police officer.

    What do you call a chav waiting in a bus shelter?
    At a party.

    What do you call a 20 year old chav?
    Dunno. Ask her 7 year old son.

    What do you do if you run a chav over?
    Put it into reverse just to make sure.

    Simon


  2. #2
    0iD
    0iD is offline
    M*I*A 0iD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Happy Llama Land
    Posts
    13,247
    Thanks
    1,435
    Thanked
    1,209 times in 757 posts
    • 0iD's system
      • Motherboard:
      • Leave my mother out of it!
      • CPU:
      • If I knew what it meant?
      • Memory:
      • Wah?
      • Storage:
      • Cupboards and drawers
      • Graphics card(s):
      • Slate & chalk
      • PSU:
      • meh
      • Case:
      • Suit or Brief?
      • Operating System:
      • Brain
      • Monitor(s):
      • I was 1 at skool
      • Internet:
      • 28k Dialup
    Hahaha, we like!
    [
    Quote Originally Posted by Blitzen
    When I say go, both walk in the opposite direction for 10 paces, draw handbags, then bitch-slap each other!

  3. #3
    Moving shadows... Zedmeister's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Posts
    921
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0 times in 0 posts
    I'd like to add:


  4. #4
    Almost in control. autopilot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Region 2
    Posts
    4,071
    Thanks
    51
    Thanked
    12 times in 11 posts
    Good stuff

    Does anyone know what chav stands for/short for/means?

  5. #5
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    103
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0 times in 0 posts
    What is a Chav?

    'chav' (slang) - a young person, often without a high level of education, who follows a particular fashion; Chavs usually wear designer labels including the chav favourite 'Burberry', and if they’re girls, very short skirts, large hoop earrings and stilettos.

    Chavs see branded baseball caps as a status symbol and wear them at every opportunity. Normally found hanging around shopping centres.

    Also known as Townies, Kevs, Hood Rats, Charvers, Steeks, Stigs, Bazzas, Yarcos, Ratboys, Chorer, Skangers, Scutters, Janners, Kappa Slappers, Scallies, Spides and Neds in Scotland.

    What is a Chavette?

    A chavette is a female chav - Normally seen wearing sportswear, fake designer gear and large hoop earrings.


    Mike

  6. #6
    Beard hat ftw! steve threlfall's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    West Midlands
    Posts
    6,745
    Thanks
    301
    Thanked
    195 times in 124 posts
    • steve threlfall's system
      • Motherboard:
      • Gigabyte Z77-D3H
      • CPU:
      • Core i5-3570K
      • Memory:
      • 8GB Corsair Vengeance DDR3
      • Storage:
      • Samsung 830 256
      • Graphics card(s):
      • Radeon HD6870
      • PSU:
      • Corsair HX750
      • Case:
      • Antec P280
      • Operating System:
      • Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
      • Monitor(s):
      • Dell 2407 WFP 24" Widescreen, Rev A04
      • Internet:
      • Virgin 120/12 mb
    Quote Originally Posted by m1ke_hawkins
    What is a Chav?

    'chav' (slang) - a young person, often without a high level of education, who follows a particular fashion; Chavs usually wear designer labels including the chav favourite 'Burberry', and if they’re girls, very short skirts, large hoop earrings and stilettos.

    Chavs see branded baseball caps as a status symbol and wear them at every opportunity. Normally found hanging around shopping centres.

    Also known as Townies, Kevs, Hood Rats, Charvers, Steeks, Stigs, Bazzas, Yarcos, Ratboys, Chorer, Skangers, Scutters, Janners, Kappa Slappers, Scallies, Spides and Neds in Scotland.

    What is a Chavette?

    A chavette is a female chav - Normally seen wearing sportswear, fake designer gear and large hoop earrings.


    Mike

    Also known as Rockport Rangers

    Favourite phrases include:

    Innit star is ya gora spare fag aiiiiiiiiiiiight

    and whad da flock ya say bout me maam


  7. #7
    Moving shadows... Zedmeister's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Posts
    921
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0 times in 0 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by steve threlfall
    Also known as Rockport Rangers

    Favourite phrases include:

    Innit star is ya gora spare fag aiiiiiiiiiiiight

    and whad da flock ya say bout me maam

    Don't forget the oft popular:

    "What tha f**k yooo lookin' at???"
    "I'll knock you the f^&K out!"
    "Nahhhh mate, eeee ain' worf it"


    The more nocturnal Chavs can be seen round late night petrol stations, off licenses, village greens and parks, supping MD 20/20 or White Lightning from filthy bottles, generally fouling up the place like stray dogs...

  8. #8
    Time for Walkies... Atomic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Norfolk, UK
    Posts
    1,959
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0 times in 0 posts
    Excellent jokes.

    Some are so spot on too!

  9. #9
    smtkr
    Guest
    Hell, the definition is the funniest part for me.

  10. #10
    I've left
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Southampton/MK
    Posts
    275
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0 times in 0 posts
    What do you call a chav in a chocolate factory?

    Sweet

    There's a thin person in every fat person.....that's because they just ate them.

  11. #11
    Photographer; for hire!! shiato storm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    next door
    Posts
    6,977
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked
    6 times in 5 posts
    more funnies
    Powered by Marmite and Wet Dog
    Light Over Water Photography

  12. #12
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Posts
    232
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    1 time in 1 post
    Please refer to Chavscum

  13. #13
    Moving shadows... Zedmeister's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Posts
    921
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0 times in 0 posts
    Yes! It had to be done - The chav smiley!

  14. #14
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Cardiff
    Posts
    439
    Thanks
    29
    Thanked
    27 times in 23 posts
    • no_numb's system
      • Motherboard:
      • Gigabyte ma770-ud3
      • CPU:
      • AMD Phenom x6 1055t (95W)
      • Memory:
      • 4gb Kingston 1066 hyperx
      • Storage:
      • 2x40gb kingston ssds, 1tb Spinpoint f3, 320gb Samsung spinpoint f1 + 640gb seagate freeagent extreme
      • Graphics card(s):
      • Sapphire 4670 ultimate
      • PSU:
      • ocz stealthxtreme 400w
      • Case:
      • Xigmatek Midgard
      • Operating System:
      • Windows 7 Pro
      • Monitor(s):
      • LG 19", DGM 23" and lg 42ld490 42"
    chav comes from cheltnam average... lol good jokes

  15. #15
    sneaks quietly away. schmunk's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Wiki Wiki Wild West side... of Sussex
    Posts
    4,424
    Thanks
    40
    Thanked
    163 times in 121 posts
    • schmunk's system
      • Motherboard:
      • Abit NF7-S v2.0
      • CPU:
      • AMD Athlon-M 2500+
      • Memory:
      • 1GB of Corsair BH-5 and 512MB of something else
      • Storage:
      • 160GB Seagate Barracuda
      • Graphics card(s):
      • ATI Radeon X800Pro, flashed to XT
      • PSU:
      • Hiper Type-M ~400W
      • Case:
      • Antec cheapy
      • Monitor(s):
      • AG Neovo F19 LCD
      • Internet:
      • Virgin Media 4MB/s
    Council House And Violent

    Or so I heard....

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. PC Chav.
    By Stewart in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 47
    Last Post: 28-10-2004, 10:54 PM
  2. PSU choice...
    By retroborg in forum PC Hardware and Components
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 11-08-2004, 01:14 PM
  3. Motherboard choice
    By Scientist in forum PC Hardware and Components
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 14-07-2004, 04:21 PM
  4. Replies: 43
    Last Post: 03-06-2004, 05:39 PM
  5. final spec choice
    By psalliss in forum PC Hardware and Components
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 14-10-2003, 08:40 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •