Results 1 to 15 of 15

Thread: Double Entendres...

  1. #1
    Photographer; for hire!! shiato storm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    next door
    Posts
    6,977
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked
    6 times in 5 posts

    Double Entendres...

    classy stuff

    Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."

    Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."

    Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

    Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World Superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now."

    Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on This Morning: "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last night."

    'Winning Post's' Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."

    Ross King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond: "Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."

    Cricketer Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off."

    Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."

    James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked: "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"

    Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."

    The new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough Scott's breath away..."My word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection."

    Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions."

    Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live said: You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

    A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

    US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them .... Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"

    Metro Radio - "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

    Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew."

    Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."

    New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."

    Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"
    Powered by Marmite and Wet Dog
    Light Over Water Photography

  2. #2
    Chaos Monkey Apex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Huddersfield
    Posts
    4,712
    Thanks
    1,158
    Thanked
    287 times in 206 posts
    • Apex's system
      • Motherboard:
      • Asus Z87M-PLUS
      • CPU:
      • Intel i5-4670K
      • Memory:
      • 32 GiB
      • Storage:
      • 20 TiB
      • Graphics card(s):
      • PowerColor Radeon RX 6700 Fighter 10GB OC
      • PSU:
      • 750
      • Case:
      • Core View 21
      • Operating System:
      • Windows 10 pro
      • Monitor(s):
      • Dell S2721DGFA
      • Internet:
      • 200Mb nTL Cable
    lol

    that cheered my day up

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    196
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0 times in 0 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by shiato storm
    New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."
    rofl

    Nice one these are great.
    Athlon 3500+ | 1Gb Ram
    ATI X800 XT PE | Blackgold TV Card
    Raptor 74Gb OS/Games | 200Gb Storage
    Samsung 21inch TFT | Freecom16x DVD/RW

  4. #4
    Beard hat ftw! steve threlfall's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    West Midlands
    Posts
    6,745
    Thanks
    301
    Thanked
    195 times in 124 posts
    • steve threlfall's system
      • Motherboard:
      • Gigabyte Z77-D3H
      • CPU:
      • Core i5-3570K
      • Memory:
      • 8GB Corsair Vengeance DDR3
      • Storage:
      • Samsung 830 256
      • Graphics card(s):
      • Radeon HD6870
      • PSU:
      • Corsair HX750
      • Case:
      • Antec P280
      • Operating System:
      • Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
      • Monitor(s):
      • Dell 2407 WFP 24" Widescreen, Rev A04
      • Internet:
      • Virgin 120/12 mb
    brilliant

  5. #5
    I eats food da_ging's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Posts
    2,256
    Thanks
    10
    Thanked
    29 times in 24 posts
    • da_ging's system
      • CPU:
      • E5200 @ 3.75Ghz
      • Memory:
      • 4GB kingston HyperX 8500
      • Storage:
      • 2*WD640gb in Raid 0 +500gb 32mb seagate
      • Graphics card(s):
      • BFG GTX 260 Maxcore OC2
      • PSU:
      • Corsair 650w TX
      • Case:
      • Stacker 831 black
      • Operating System:
      • XP Pro
      • Monitor(s):
      • 23" fujitsu 3230t LCD 1920*1080
      • Internet:
      • 8mb

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    London
    Posts
    2,456
    Thanks
    100
    Thanked
    75 times in 51 posts
    • Mblaster's system
      • Motherboard:
      • ASUS PK5 Premium
      • CPU:
      • Intel i5 2500K
      • Memory:
      • 8gb DDR3
      • Storage:
      • Intel X25 SSD + WD 2TB HDD
      • Graphics card(s):
      • Nvidia GeForce GTX 570
      • PSU:
      • Corsair HX520
      • Case:
      • Antec P180
      • Operating System:
      • Windows 7 Professional x64
      • Monitor(s):
      • HP w2207 (22" wide)
      • Internet:
      • Rubbish ADSL
    That is a great find! Something funny to distract me from my work
    I don't mean to sound cold, or cruel, or vicious, but I am so that's the way it comes out.

  7. #7
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    179
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0 times in 0 posts
    theres another one as well about cricket, ill find the exact phrase later but i went something like

    "The batsman's Holding, the bowlers Willey"

  8. #8
    Photographer; for hire!! shiato storm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    next door
    Posts
    6,977
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked
    6 times in 5 posts
    ah yes...that old chestnut...'tis a classic.
    Powered by Marmite and Wet Dog
    Light Over Water Photography

  9. #9
    Barely posting since 2006 bertie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    1,764
    Thanks
    7
    Thanked
    0 times in 0 posts
    • bertie's system
      • Motherboard:
      • Lenovo Y480
      • CPU:
      • Core i7 3610QM
      • Memory:
      • 8GB DDR1600
      • Storage:
      • 2TB
      • Graphics card(s):
      • GT650M
      • PSU:
      • Lappy
      • Case:
      • NA
      • Operating System:
      • W7 X64
      • Monitor(s):
      • Dell 2405
      • Internet:
      • Australian awful net
    Nice mate - made me chuckle a few times!

  10. #10
    If your 5555... Swafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Then I'm...
    Posts
    6,666
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0 times in 0 posts
    Nice
    Quote Originally Posted by Knoxville
    As I find big muff's to be a bit of an aquired taste
    AMD Athlon 4400X2 @ 2.565PenisextentionMhz
    Dual Layer, Gold Plated, LED Power,Dual Golden OMG IT MAKES MY CodPiece BIGGER 1-1-1-1 DDR62.3 @ 1222.3433Mhz
    5 X 400GB Porn Array
    X1800XT Dildo enchanged 3D Version, 512MegaLongJohn
    Oh, did I mention.....I like sheep.....


    WWW.MrsBurley.CO.UK
    now updated

  11. #11
    Photographer; for hire!! shiato storm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    next door
    Posts
    6,977
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked
    6 times in 5 posts
    always glad to provide a few chuckles to those who have done the same for me
    Powered by Marmite and Wet Dog
    Light Over Water Photography

  12. #12
    iMc
    iMc is offline
    Senior Member iMc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Northants
    Posts
    3,616
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked
    0 times in 0 posts
    Double entendres are great...

    HEXUS|iMc

  13. #13
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    W Yorkshire
    Posts
    5,691
    Thanks
    85
    Thanked
    15 times in 13 posts
    • XA04's system
      • Motherboard:
      • MSI X570-A Pro
      • CPU:
      • AMD Ryzen 5 3600
      • Memory:
      • Corsair 2x 8gb DDR 4 3200
      • Storage:
      • 1TB Serpent M.2 SSD & 4TB HDD
      • Graphics card(s):
      • Palit RTX 2060
      • PSU:
      • Antec Truepower 650W
      • Case:
      • Fractcal Meshify C
      • Operating System:
      • Windows 10
      • Monitor(s):
      • iiyama 34" Curved UWQHD
      • Internet:
      • Virgin 100mb Fibre
    Hahahahahahahahahahaha

  14. #14
    Senior Amoeba iranu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    On the dinner table. Blechh!
    Posts
    3,535
    Thanks
    111
    Thanked
    156 times in 106 posts
    • iranu's system
      • Motherboard:
      • Asus Maximus Gene VI
      • CPU:
      • 4670K @4.3Ghz
      • Memory:
      • 8Gb Samsung Green
      • Storage:
      • 1x 256Gb Samsung 830 SSD 2x640gb HGST raid 0
      • Graphics card(s):
      • MSI R9 390
      • PSU:
      • Corsair HX620W Modular
      • Case:
      • Cooler Master Silencio 352
      • Operating System:
      • Win 7 ultimate 64 bit
      • Monitor(s):
      • 23" DELL Ultrasharp U2312HM
      • Internet:
      • 16mb broadband
    Fantastic - where'd you pull those from?
    "Reality is what it is, not what you want it to be." Frank Zappa. ----------- "The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike." Huang Po.----------- "A drowsy line of wasted time bathes my open mind", - Ride.

  15. #15
    Tech-ignorant Factoid
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    2,904
    Thanks
    417
    Thanked
    114 times in 80 posts
    i swear i'll need stitchs for my sides if i read them again...
    /wipes tears of laughter from eyes

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Outlook email double line spacing
    By joshwa in forum Software
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 22-07-2010, 10:50 PM
  2. grr double post
    By khizman in forum Graphics Cards
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 01-02-2005, 07:57 PM
  3. Gamecube Double Dash £8.72
    By daveham in forum Retail Therapy and Bargains
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 01-02-2005, 03:28 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •