22 Random ramblings on life

[0iD]

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
9.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
10. Scabs, you know it's gonna hurt & prolly get messy, but you just gotta pick the lil suckers don'tcha.
11.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
12.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
13. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
14.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
15.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
16.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
17.. Procrastinate Now!
18.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
19.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
20.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
21.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
22.. The original point and click tool was a Smith and Wesson.

Feel free to add

[Nick F]

19.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Thats gonna be happening to me tomorrow morning

[EvilMunky]

hhhehe some old ones - but some new ones

nice

[tiggerai]

18.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

I try telling that to the Film, TV and drama students... they don't take any of it though.

he he he

[Zedmeister]

17.. Procrastinate Now!

Maybe later, I can't be bothered now...

[Auran]

I am wearing a t-shirt with a no. 6 on it now

23. Insanity is hereditary, you get it from your children
24. If a tree falls on a Chav in the woods, does anybody care
25. If in doubt, do it anyway but find someone else to take the blame

[Stewart]

26. Hello? Is it me you're looking for? 'Cause I wonder where you are, And I wonder what you do, Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you? Tell me how to win your heart, For I haven't got a clue, But let me start by saying, I love you ...

[0iD]

26. Hello? Is it me you're looking for? 'Cause I wonder where you are, And I wonder what you do, Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you? Tell me how to win your heart, For I haven't got a clue, But let me start by saying, I love you ...

aaah bless, so yoo doo wuv me weely