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It seems to me that today is going not only slowly - but very quietly on this here board of ours.
Therefore i shall make this post - bad joke friday!
Post your jokes in here for all to enjoy
I will start of with a few:
Three cowboys were sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome trail, each with a tale of bravado for which cowboys are famous. ‘I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is,’ the first cowboy said with a drawl. ‘Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six grown men before I wrestled it to the ground, by the horns, with my bare hands.’ The second cowboy couldn’t stand to be bested. ‘Why, that’s nothing,’ he said. ‘I was walking down the trail yesterday when a 15 feet rattler made a move for me. I grabbed it with my bare hands, bit its head off and sucked down all of its poison. And I’m still here to tell the tale.’ All this time, the third cowboy remained silent, and the first two turned to look at him as he slowly stoked the red-hot coals with his penis.
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Three smiling corpses are lying in a morgue in Alabama, and a detective goes into the coroner's to find out the cause of death. The coroner points to the first dead man. ‘This is Cletus,’ he says. ‘He died after winning $23 million on the state lottery.’ He then moves onto the second smiling corpse. ‘This is Bo,’ the coroner says with a grin. ‘He died having oral sex with Trudy-May.’ Finally he moves onto the last smiling corpse. ‘This is Roscoe,’ says the coroner. ‘He died after being struck by lightning.’ ‘Well,’ asks the detective. ‘Why in the hell was he smiling?’ ‘Oh,’ says the coroner. ‘He thought he was having his picture taken
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A doctor walks into his office, where a patient is anxiously awaiting results from a blood test. ‘Mr Stirling, I’m not going to mess you around,’ the medic announces. ‘There’s good news and bad news. Which do you want?’ ‘Give me the bad stuff,’ replies the man. Calmly, the doc says, ‘You’ve got 48 hours to live.’ His patient howls, claws his hair and moans, ‘Oh my God, what am I going to do? Surely there must be a cure!’ ‘Of course not,’ says the doctor, gruffly. ‘But I thought you said there was some good news,’ sobs the man. ‘Oh yes, that’s right – there is,’ replies the quack, cheerfully. ‘Remember the beautiful nurse at reception when you came in?’ ‘Yes,’ replies the puzzled patient. ‘The blonde with the tight, white uniform?’ ‘Yeah! With the big tits!’ says the patient, brightening up somewhat. ‘Well,’ says the doctor, leaning over to whisper. ‘I’m shagging her.’
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Originally Posted by EvilMunky
