With regard to skin cancer

[3Dfx]

Ok, I know a girl who went on holiday... fair enuff

she sat on the beach/balcony almost everyday with "FACTOR 2" ... not usual sunscreen but ... CARROT TANNING OIL on as her only protection, and sat there for probably 1hr maybe longer...

I kinda asked/hinted at skin cancer and how easy it is to get.. but well... she just doesnt seem to care AT ALL...

she goes out drinking fri/sat/sun every week and gets hammered (ive seen the state of her some nights)... 14units per week for women yes?

14units per hour for her.

I asked her about this, and YET AGAIN. DOESNT CARE...

....

its as if she thinks shes immune to anything....

in SOME ways i wish she'd get a SMALL dose of skin cancer or small dose of alcohol poisoning to WAKE HER UP and make her REALISE that shes not invinsible...

its doing my head in, cos shes the type to moan if summet happened to her...

what do i do? advise? ignore?

:withstupid:

btw shes 18

[TeePee]

Skin cancer is rare, and while she is spending longer in the sun than my vampiric skin would allow, she'd need 4hrs+ daily exposure to significantly increase her chances of getting cancer, and not just on holiday.

That kind of alcoholism is more of a concern, and while liver cirrosis may take years of abuse to develop, short term alcohol poisoning can kill. She is also potentially at risk from sexual assault, etc as many criminals will target inebriated women.

I'm interested that you are so concerned. Tell us more about your relationship with her, and also more background. How old are you? Did you go on holiday with her? If not, did you feel excluded?

[3Dfx]

Im a good friend of hers
I work in the same building (different office)
im 19
I didnt go on holiday
I didnt feel excluded (tho there was 19 sexy birds there lol)

She just doesnt care, its like

I wont get skin cancer, HIV, alcohol poisoning, numonia (sp?) etc etc... shes just very reckless and shes gonna get hurt either physically, emotionally or ... other

[5cupa]

she wil have to learn these rules the hard way, like most people who are that young think they are indestructable, then again i was probably the same at 18, its all part of growing up, some advice you take some you dont. live by the sword and die by the sword and all that...............

[steve threlfall]

She knows what shes doing and its her choice. I can understand that you want to help her but she really has to learn this for herself. She has to realise and hopefully sh will do so before things are too late but confronting her over this is only going to make her resent you.

You can only hope that nothing bad happens and keep an eye out for her.

[3Dfx]

But shes 18... 18 = adult not child

adult = common sence

common sence = live easier

liver easier = happier

happier = family, friends etc

family, friends = life


...why get hammered EVERY weekend and NOT remember it... thats like coming home from work on friday and going back the next day cos u cant remember inbetween LOL!

i go out yes, saturday usually... i drink a bit .... alot.. but not EVERY week ... and not fri/sat/sun.. i cant afford that lol

oh ... and she finished with her bf... and got back with him (for no reason ... broke up for no reason, got back for no reason)... i think she enjoys the money he spends on her to be honest.

She needs to wake up

[3Dfx]

You can only hope that nothing bad happens and keep an eye out for her.

U only learn when summet bad happens to u or sum1 VERY close (dad, mum, brother, sister etc)

keep an eye out for her? i dont go out half as often and her mates dont care to look out for her either (ive seen that myself)

[5cupa]

So why does it bother you so much m8? if its her life

[shiato storm]

perhaps this pattern is similar to someone else who suffered a fate that hardly bares thinking about

[3Dfx]

So why does it bother you so much m8? if its her life

cos I care about my friends... no matter how stupid.

perhaps this pattern is similar to someone else who suffered a fate that hardly bares thinking about

tho not 100% sure what u mean I interpretted it as u think I've done similar?

well... no... Ive been spiked once in a club but thats about it...i where factor 15ish sunscreen and I dont drink everyday of the weekend.

Im usually driving over the weekend so I cant get hammered each night.

[TeePee]

I think when you mention her boyfriend you reveal yourself. You are displaying a protective instinct over someone you care about. You want her to see your protective, responsible side because you have a romantic interest here.. Thats good, but many women like to be fiercely independent and look out for themselves, and she sounds like one of them. Maybe you should pursue a different tactic?

[5cupa]

but m8 somethings in life you just have to learn yourself, maybe better she does it now and gets it out her system whilst her body can recoupe. after all sometimes the best thing a friend can do is sit back and be there when needed.

[3Dfx]

TeePee is good. Yes I "DID" used to like her... possibily have feelings buried under all the ash and burning rubble inside me (lol)

But I dont use "tactics" in "pursueing" women... and shes taken... so I dont even "pursue".

The problem with her being independant is... shes gonna get hurt...

I hate seeing "FRIENDS" hurt... just like my mate who got his nose broke by a bloke in Newcastle.... it was funny, true, but i still asked if he was ok etc (different when its a bloke)

[3Dfx]

maybe better she does it now and gets it out her system whilst her body can recoupe

My attitude a few week back but i constantly see "skin cancer risks" on the news etc and also I watched "Inside Out" on BBC1 a couple of week ago and it followed 4 18yr old girls on a night out....

1 drank 60units
1 drank 100units

IN ONE NIGHT.... and they were going out the next two nights also... so i was thinking "O..M...G... plz god dont say she does that"

and then it showed a 29yr old woman, who LOOKED about 40 (no sh!t) and like George Best couldnt even SIP alcohol or she'd DIE instantly...

so ... sit back and wait?

[5cupa]

Originally posted by 3Dfx

so ... sit back and wait?

yes its not your life tbh even if she is a friend and you want the best for her its her decision. all you can do is giver her the facts and let her decide. and she isent going to thank you for constantly preaching to her. some people just cant be told especially at that age.

[shiato storm]

**different when its a bloke**

how so?
if we are hurt, do we not bleed the same way?

...


in a similar situation to yours, I have a friend [who I have lost touch with over the years] we were at school together and he is a decent, intelligent and thoughtful guy. he used to be really fit and athletic too.. but unfortunately things like drinking and smoking etc got to him and he got a little de-railed, but he still remained a good person despite his failings...
now hes a successful designer with (i think) his own business. so clearly he wised up and got his act together. If your friend is like that then give her time, she'll figure out that its really only a phase in her life and she'll look back thinking 'I'm glad thats over' ... we all have these momentary blips - its what life is about.
Don't care too much - give her space and things will be fine.