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Thread: Rugby World Cup Rules

  1. #1
    No more Mr Nice Guy. Nick's Avatar
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    Rugby World Cup Rules

    Following complaints made to the IRB about the All Blacks being allowed to motivate themselves by performing the 'Haka' before their games,other nations were asked to suggest pre-match rituals of their own. The IRB Rugby World Cup 2003 Organising Committee has now agreed to the following pre-match displays:

    1. The England team will chat about the weather, wave hankies in the air and attach bells to their ankles before moaning about how they invented the game and gave it to the world, and how it's not fair that everyone still thinks New Zealand are the best team in the world.

    2. The Scotland team will chant "You lookin' at me Jimmy?" before smashing an Iron Bru bottle over their opponents' heads.

    3. The Ireland team will split into two, with the Southern half performing a Riverdance, while the Northerners march the traditional route from their dressing room to the pitch, via their opponents dressing room.

    4. Argentina will unexpectedly invade a small part of opposition territory, claim it as their own "Las In-Goals-Areas" and then be forcibly removed by the match stewards.

    5. Two members of the South African team will claim to be more important than the other 13 whom they will imprison between the posts whilst they claim the rest of the pitch for themselves.

    6. The Americans will not attend until almost full time. In future years they will amend the records to show that they were in fact the most important team in the tournament, won it single handedly and Hollywood will make a film called 'Saving No.8 Lyle'.

    7. Five of the Canadian team will sing La Marseillaise and hold the rest of the team to ransom.

    8. The Italian team will arrive in Armani gear, sexually harass the female stewards and then run away.

    9. The Spanish will sneak into the other half of the pitch, mow it and then claim that it was all in line with European "grass quotas".. They will then curl up under the posts and have a kip until half time, when their appeal for compensation against the UK government will be heard.

    10. The Japanese will attempt to strengthen their team by offering good salaries to the key opposition players and then run around the pitch at high speed in a highly efficient manner before buying the ground (with a subsidy from the UK Government).

    11. The French will declare they have new scientific evidence that the opposition are in fact all mad. They will then park lorries across the halfway line, let sheep loose in the opposition half and burn the officials.

    12. The Australians will have a barbie before negotiating lucrative singing and TV contracts in the UK. They will then invite all their mates to come and live with them in Shepherds Bush.

    13. Unfortunately the Committee were unable to accept the Welsh suggestion following complaints from the RSPCA.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dareos View Post
    "OH OOOOHH oOOHHHHHHHOOHHHHHHH FILL ME WITH YOUR.... eeww not the stuff from the lab"

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    Medic... I need a medic.. Donny John's Avatar
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    Heh, that's pretty good, made me laugh nice one.
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    DR
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    Made me smile for sure

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    Hexus.net daveham's Avatar
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    Spain? Rugby? perhaps the bullfighting world cup...but rugby?!?!?

    Anyway...liked it LOL!!

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    Jigsawing Menace
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    lol, quality


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    By-Tor with sticks spikegifted's Avatar
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    What a collection of narrow-minded, stereo-typed observations.
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    No more Mr Nice Guy. Nick's Avatar
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    Spike, absolutely!

    But I hope you notice that it takes the mickey out of everyone equally!
    Quote Originally Posted by Dareos View Post
    "OH OOOOHH oOOHHHHHHHOOHHHHHHH FILL ME WITH YOUR.... eeww not the stuff from the lab"

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    Photographer; for hire!! shiato storm's Avatar
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    hehe. gets my vote.
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    Member Trash Man's Avatar
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    6. The Americans will not attend until almost full time. In future years they will amend the records to show that they were in fact the most important team in the tournament, won it single handedly and Hollywood will make a film called 'Saving No.8 Lyle'.
    The best out of a very, very funny list

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    herbalist
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    hahaha, thats good mate i recon we may have a decent chance this year, but we can only hope n cheer.

    if war is the answer, then we are asking the wrong question
    2 things i hate the most - xenophobia and the french
    "chuffing"

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    Senior Member RoGuE|SaBeR's Avatar
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    Brilliant

    Found the Irish one the best, and we all know that we'll win it anyway


    COME ON THE IRISH

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    daft ideas inc. scottyman's Avatar
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    LOOOL - that was hilarious!
    I've gotta say - that was some match against Samoa - unbelievable!

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    Going Retro!!! Ferral's Avatar
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    Thats really funny.

    Thought the American one was the funniest

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    Goat Boy
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    Just got back from Melbourne...



    Great game. Very drunk. Being able to drink and watch a sporting event at the same time was a novelty too good to pass up
    "All our beliefs are being challenged now, and rightfully so, they're stupid." - Bill Hicks

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    daft ideas inc. scottyman's Avatar
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    what a truly excellent match to be there for! Wish I was over there - my Dad and my Uncle have got tickets to every match! Really not fair!

    Mind u - my gf's boss has tickets to the Ireland Australia match, (he's over here) but isn't allowed to travel 4 days early for a meeting to see the match - mainly because his wife would kill him!

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    Looks like there's a new World Cup rule that lets England have 16 players on the pitch at once!

    If it turns out that it was Clive W that made Luger go on to the pitch, he may end up watching the rest of the tournament on telly like the rest of us!

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