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Thread: Hospital Charts

  1. #1
    IBM
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    Hospital Charts

    Repost I'm sure, but cracking all the same...

    ACTUAL WRITINGS from hospital charts:




    1. The patient refused autopsy.

    2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

    3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital

    4. Note: patient here-recovering from forehead cut. Patient became very angry when given an enema by mistake.

    5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

    6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

    7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

    8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

    9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

    10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert
    but forgetful.

    11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

    12. She is numb from her toes down.

    13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

    14. The skin was moist and dry.

    15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

    16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

    17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

    18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her
    life, until she got a divorce.

    19. I saw your patient today, who is still
    under our car for
    physical therapy.

    20. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

    21. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

    22. Skin: somewhat pale but present

    23. Patient has two teenage children, but no other
    abnormalities
    sig removed by Zak33

  2. #2
    Network|Geek kidzer's Avatar
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    Roffle - thats fantasticly funny!
    "If you're not on the edge, you're taking up too much room!"
    - me, 2005

  3. #3
    Moderator chuckskull's Avatar
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  4. #4
    Does he need a reason? Funkstar's Avatar
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    So good! so very very good!

    I'm getting funny looks for giggling so much again

  5. #5
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    ROFL. #20 has to be the best

    MdSalih

  6. #6
    IBM
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    • IBM's system
      • Motherboard:
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      • CPU:
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      • Memory:
      • 2x2GB kit (1GBx2), Ballistix 240-pin DIMM, DDR2 PC2-6400
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      • Graphics card(s):
      • Leadtek NVIDIA GeForce PX8800GTS 640MB
      • PSU:
      • CORSAIR HX 620W MODULAR PSU
      • Case:
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      • Monitor(s):
      • Dell 2407WPF A04
      • Internet:
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    Agreed, I cried for that one.
    sig removed by Zak33

  7. #7
    radix lecti dave87's Avatar
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    Now that is class

  8. #8
    Tastes like chicken leeglf's Avatar
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    nice find very funny indeed


    PSN ID = leeglf

  9. #9
    Senior Member kickstart 1's Avatar
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  10. #10
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    very good. Which one were you ?? :-D

  11. #11
    Gaarrrrr! Dav0s's Avatar
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    hehe number 6 got me

  12. #12
    Aka Bres subucni's Avatar
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    Haha, they're good.

    Reminded me of when i broke my upper arm skateboarding and managed to snap it and twist it around. When i looked at my card before going in for my x-ray i noticed it had written on it

    "Patient has a humerus deformity"

    That gave me a good giggle for a minute while i waited.


    Bres

  13. #13
    Are you Junglin' guy? jamin's Avatar
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    ROFL! Nice!
    Beer is life, life is good!

  14. #14
    LWA
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    Excellent thanks for that! Really made me chickle on a Friday morning.

  15. #15
    A Straw? And Fruit? Bazzlad's Avatar
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    Agreed nice one

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