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Thread: Darwin Awards..2005

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    Darwin Awards..2005

    It's not really designed for in here.....BUT....please....SOMEONE TELL ME.....

    is it POSSIBLE that Number 5 could be my best pal and his friends.....

    tell me......

    could it be: Filipe, aka Rafaeli? and his buddies

    And the nominees this year in reverse order are
    >>7. A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply,
    >>because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with
    >>milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he vomited
    >>into the fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and fire
    >>his house down, killing both him and his sister.
    >>6. A 34-year-old white male found dead in the basement of his home died
    >>of suffocation, according to police. He was approximately 6' 2" tall and
    >>weighed 225 pounds. He was wearing a pleated skirt, white bra, black
    >>and white saddle shoes, and a woman's wig. It appeared that he was
    >>to create a schoolgirl's uniform look. He was also wearing a military
    >>mask that had the filter canister removed and a rubber hose attached in
    >>place. The other end of the hose was connected to one end of a hollow
    >>tube approx.12" long and 3" in diameter. The tube's other end was
    >>into his rectum for reasons unknown, and was the cause of his
    >>Police found the task of explaining the circumstances of his death to
    >>his family very awkward.
    5. Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude
    when another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon the
    occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft
    and crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants
    around their ankles.

    >>4. A 22-year-old, Glade Drive, Reston, VA, man was found dead after he
    >>tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70 foot railroad
    >>Fairfax County Police said Eric Barcia, a fast-food worker, taped a
    >>bunch of these straps together, wrapped one end around one foot,
    >>other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and hit the
    >>Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said investigators think Barcia
    >>was alone because his car was found nearby. "The length of the cord that
    >>assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the
    >>ground". Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause of death was
    >>"Major trauma."
    >>3. A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a
    >>friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball.
    >>The friend, no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate, was hospitalised.
    >>2. Employees in a medium sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell
    >>of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building,
    >>all potential sources of ignition; lights, power,etc.After the building
    >>been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were dispatched.
    >>Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in
    >>dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked. Witnesses
    >>later described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into his
    >>and retrieving an object that resembled a cigarette lighter. Upon
    >>of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded,sending
    >>pieces of it up to three miles away.
    >>Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually
    >>untouched by the explosion.The technician suspected of causing the
    >>blast had never been thought of as 'bright' by his peers.
    >>AND THE WINNER.....
    >>1, Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome, Everitt
    >>Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the local golf
    >>course. Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix,
    >>managed to straddle the ball washer and dangle his scrotum in the
    >>machine. Much to his dismay, one of his buddies upped the ante by
    >>crank on the machine with Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging them
    >>solidly in the mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold
    >>pain, collapsed and tumbled from his perch. Unfortunately for Sanchez,
    >>height of the ball washer was more than a foot higher off the ground
    >>testicles are in a normal stance, and the scrotum was the weakest link.
    >>Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was
    >>plucked from him forever and remained in the ball washer, while the
    >>testicle was
    >>compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the
    >>the rotating machinery inside. To add insult to injury, Sanchez broke a
    >>$300.00 driver that he had just purchased from the pro shop, and was
    >>using to balance himself. Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for
    >>the remaining threesome was asked to leave the course.
    >>NB This last one wouldn't normally count, because the idiot didn't die.
    >>But because he cannot reproduce as a result of his qualifying act of
    >>stupidity, we have allowed it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Advice Trinity by Knoxville
    "The second you aren't paying attention to the tool you're using, it will take your fingers from you. It does not know sympathy." |
    "If you don't gaffer it, it will gaffer you" | "Belt and braces"

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