Guild Politics - Inside an Uber Guild
Uber Guilds are not uncommon, and at one point or another most of us have been in one no matter how hard we tried to avoid it. These guilds are generally strict and have a rigid hierarchy rewarding your class choice more than your skill. While they often claim to be the most skilled guild on the server it is rarely ever true, except in the rare case that everyone else is an idiot and just started the game. These guilds took a big hit recently with the instance caps, but they still manage. I was once in an Uber Guild, and it was quite possibly the worst time I had since I watched Little Black Book.
From the day I entered this guild, about the time I hit level 40, I could see that this was going to be an Uber Guild. They had all the obvious signs:
* Level and class based recruiting requirements
* A system that awarded the biggest ass kissers
* And a nagging desire to one day rule the server.
You were considered low priority as an Initiate, while being a Veteran got you many perks such as first shot at loot. They made a point of making sure you knew you were worthless until you did enough ass kissing, and many people fell into the trap hoping to become the recipients of the kisses, even if it meant that they had to go through some of the most graphic and painful initiations.
The rank of Veteran was not something everyone could obtain, regardless of how white or male you were. It was saved for 10 people, and those people were picked very early on. Amazingly this rank had no Priests but it did contain 4 Paladins, all of which had the ability to be completely useless while taking more than their fair share of the loot. There were spots that were in a constant state of flux, changing as the GM’s mood changed, but 7 stayed constant. The spots in flux were fought over constantly though, normally by giving gold to the GM or giving him items you happened across, or entertaining him by putting on a jester’s hat and dancing until your heels snapped off. The GM effectively became the god of these people who were willing to sell their children into slavery to get ahead in a guild.
The part that bothered me the most had to be the lack of help. Everyone was occupied with getting ready for end game and was unwilling to spend an hour or 2 of their day to help you, even though they were trying to beat the world record for most days playing a MMORPG straight without dieing. This meant that in what was quickly becoming the most powerful guild on the server, I was left looking for pickup groups 9 times out of 10. I often asked the GM if he knew anyone that could help me, and the most common response was “Someone already did that today.” I fell for the whole ass kissing pyramid scheme. The fact that I spent most of my time looking for pickup groups may have been the only thing that saved me from becoming a suck-up, that and the horrible taste it left on my tongue.
Loot was a very common point of strife in this guild as well. Though the hierarchy of ass kissing was very strictly obeyed, there were the occasional spats between 2 people of equal rank over a single item, such as the Shimmering Dagger of the Reese’s Monkey +3. The GM often settled these spats, and it occasionally meant the loss of a member. Even in an instance the GM would pick who got every item, sometimes giving someone 5+ items while giving someone else nothing: the equivalent of being the red headed stepchild. This, like everything else, fed into the ass kissing pyramid. You do the right amount of kissing and you walk away with some great gear. The browner the nose, the more loot they got.
This Uber Guild suffered from Big Fish Syndrome, something many people seem to think they suffer from as well. It was a big fish in a small pond. They wanted to do all these great things, but were under-manned for quite a while. Eventually they did manage to scrounge up the people needed for Upper Blackrock Spire, the most difficult instance you can even attempt when the server consists of you 50 other people that happened to wander in By this time I had left, but when someone does Upper Blackrock Spire for the first time on your server you tend to find out quickly. These people will probably have the first Onyxia drop on the server I play on, but the people participating in the drop will do so at the cost of their soul, and maybe a wife or husband, and half of their stuff, and their children, and even their dog.
Hopefully this has given you insight into how an Uber Guild can operate. All Uber Guilds are not the same, but more often than not the more brown your nose the better your standing is, though occasionally nude pics work too. This is unlikely to change since throughout history there have been tyrants and dictators, and they will never be fully removed from the world. Dictatorship is far too appealing to most people to disappear and leave the way open for equality.
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Originally Posted by madocks
