Astra Digital???

[Zak33]

na...that would need to be in stealth black, but with Burberry seat covers!

[Stoo]

Or the other retirement special, available across all ranges, The Vauxhall - I-Drive-Everywhere-At-20, specially detuned and only available with first and second gear..

[Russ]

Or they could put an interior inside the car with less than 99% plastic :|

[Zak33]

how about the Meriva Reaction...for doddery old buggers who really can't make it from the throttle to the brake in under 17 seconds.

We could put a HUGE brake pedal in both foot wells ( so the Mrs Doddery can push hard too), and a throttle pedal the size of a lolly stick, so that the old boy's dazzling reations speed wouldn't endanger mortal drivers or pedestrians!

[Zak33]

Or the other retirement special, available across all ranges, The Vauxhall - I-Drive-Everywhere-At-20, specially detuned and only available with first and second gear..

done that in the 80's

Chevette

[nichomach]

What about a limited edition Corsa SXi, Burberry upholstery, large tea tray on the back - and no locks - with sparky tapes under it...that lead right to the petrol tank...the Corsa Natural Selection?

[Stoo]

Or the Signum - I-wish-I-could-afford-a-real-luxury-car-

[Stoo]

What about a limited edition Corsa SXi, Burberry upholstery, large tea tray on the back - and no locks - with sparky tapes under it...that lead right to the petrol tank...the Corsa Natural Selection?

Ooooh good one

[Zak33]

a new "Corsa Eco-Warrior".

It would have a 1-litre 3 cylinder but it would be a DIESEL...it would have no turbo, andAN Easy Tronic 5 speed semi auto, which would pause between gearchanges for 3 minutes.

It would come with a 17 gallon tank, tall profile, low resitance tyres, a huge final drive, and would be capable of 1000 miles per gallon, but only if you hoist the SAIL on the roof and TACK ACROSS the traffic flow on motorways, back and forth, heaving too on the hard shoulder!

[slingers]

a new "Corsa Eco-Warrior".

Could be bad if you drive this down a country lane, it might decide it wants to hug a tree or somthing.

[Howard]

How about the Corsa Decent... Contradicting the Corsa design completely?

[Zak33]

NEW VECTRA BLINKERS.

Just got YOUR New Company car?

Is it a Vectra?

Are you now gonna scream up the motorway, undertake someone and then pretend you can't see them and pull right out infront of them?

If so you need VECTRA BLINKERS

Similar in style to those worn by plough horses through the ages, but BIGGER, they TOTALLY PREVENT your peripheral vision from working

[Zak33]

Another Option from our Exclusive Option COllection.

SMELL OF OLD WET DOG

For the modest sum of £125 (payable monthly) we can totally coat the lining of your car with rank, wet dog smell And we mean TOTALLY....not just the boot.

Give your new £15000 car that "lived in by a herd of wilderbeest" smell.


FREE BAG OF FINGER NAIL CLIPPINGS included which you can pour into the foot well and tread in over time. These nail parirings will totally "bond" with your carpet, and be impossible for a valeter to vacuum out, leaving him with no choice but to remove them BY HAND, ONE AT A TIME

[[GSV]Trig]

[Howard]

a new "Corsa Eco-Warrior".

It would have a 1-litre 3 cylinder but it would be a DIESEL...it would have no turbo, andAN Easy Tronic 5 speed semi auto, which would pause between gearchanges for 3 minutes.

It would come with a 17 gallon tank, tall profile, low resitance tyres, a huge final drive, and would be capable of 1000 miles per gallon, but only if you hoist the SAIL on the roof and TACK ACROSS the traffic flow on motorways, back and forth, heaving too on the hard shoulder!

HAHAHA

Sorry, I've gotta bring this thread back up from the dead... It's hilarious

[jon bda]