Rise of the Robots on the CD32 (yes, I had one of those too, with the SX1!). Press right on the d-pad and spam your way through each battle. Amazing graphics with barely a semblance of gameplay.
Most recent would be Too Human. Glad I'm not the only one to have suffered repeat visits from the unskipable, badly clipped valkyries. It did have its good bits though, it must have done else I wouldn't have finished it. Can't for the life of me recall what they were. Those valkyries won't let me return to find out - probably doing me a huge favour.
It's not often that I'll completely ignore reviews; pre-internet I'd buy a handfull of gaming magazines each month to bone up on what was available. I've certainly taken my chances and parted money for poorly received titles (space sims in particular - can't afford to be too choosy in that genre) but I can't think of anything, other than those two, where I've truely scraped the bottom of the barrel.
Enter the Matrix. I thought it was totally tepid IMHO! I returned the game very quickly.
Oh bugger, there was another; CivilizationIV: Colonization. I love my god games, always have done since the days of Populous, and have spent countless hours strategising in many, including all of Sid Meier's games. This one's a complete mess. Unless you cheat or take a particular course of action there doesn't appear to be a way to win.
Repeating the same steps in each play-through does not make for a fun experience. Sorry, but I don't like playing to lose all the time - there's enough to demoralise you in the real world, I want a challenging win, but at least I'm likely to be rewarded for my efforts playing a game. CivilizationIV: Colonization doesn't reward, it just punishes anything which deviates from its idea of a game.
Either I'm really bad at playing this game, or the AI is cheating! After all these years beating these sorts of games, I don't think I'm that bad. Whatever the case, this game has been confined to the cupboard. Paid full price for it too.
Final Fantasy 12 for PS2, I was big fan of Final Fantasy games and was so disappointed in the crap new fighting system, I took it back the next day
For me it's Blacksite: Area 51 - it's so buggy that without editing the config files the menu is all garbled because it automatically loads widescreen resolutions on all monitors, then when I fixed that, the menu still crashed after looping sound. All other games have run fine before and since, including ones on the same engine. I even checked google and came across others with the same problems. Of course, for those that did manage to make it past the menu, the game itself was apparantly dull and contained numerous others bugs anyway, as well as performing badly. A truly terrible release, which I mainly blame on the publisher, Midway.
Nice call on Enter the Matrix - the cars had square wheels ffs - it was like canada in South Park. Combat was disconnected and random - why didn't they just hire the max payne kung fu guy. Tbh I didn't pay for Enter the Matrix and I still felt cheated, that and The Hot Chick with Rob Schneider made me want my life back.
For me this would have to be Sonic the Hedgehog on X360, for some unknown reason I thought just buy it day of release it will be fantastic... Worst part paid £40 for it
Definately WoW, spent 2 years worth of subscription for something that I now realise was not fun and a waste of my time.
I think it was called "Guest". It was years ago, and supposed to be a new 'immersive, interactive film'-genre of game. It was horror-based around a haunted house, and took me under 7 hours, start to finish, which for a full-priced game at £30+ was, IMHO, atrocious value for money. The game itself didn't exactly sparkle, either .... it was all about presentation and naff-all gameplay.
I usually vet my games rather seriously before parting with actual cash, really sorry i bought Virtua Fighter 5 tho, completed within moments of opening it, and didnt enjoy it at all. Roll on Tekken 6, always the daddy of the 3D beat em ups.
A mate of mine bought D on the ps1, a kind of cinematic horror puzzler. Took us 4 hours to complete it, (D stands for Dracula it seems, oh really), took it right back.
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