Results 1 to 2 of 2

Thread: Job Description - PARENT

  1. #1
    0iD is offline
    M*I*A 0iD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Happy Llama Land
    1,209 times in 757 posts
    • 0iD's system
      • Motherboard:
      • Leave my mother out of it!
      • CPU:
      • If I knew what it meant?
      • Memory:
      • Wah?
      • Storage:
      • Cupboards and drawers
      • Graphics card(s):
      • Slate & chalk
      • PSU:
      • meh
      • Case:
      • Suit or Brief?
      • Operating System:
      • Brain
      • Monitor(s):
      • I was 1 at skool
      • Internet:
      • 28k Dialup

    Job Description - PARENT

    Mum, Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
    Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

    Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment.
    Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
    Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
    Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

    The rest of your life.
    Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs £100
    Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
    Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
    Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
    Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
    Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
    Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
    Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
    Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
    Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

    Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining,
    constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your
    charge can ultimately surpass you

    None required unfortunately.
    On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

    Get this! You pay them!
    Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
    A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
    When you die, you give them whatever is left.
    The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

    While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this
    job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
    Quote Originally Posted by Blitzen
    When I say go, both walk in the opposite direction for 10 paces, draw handbags, then bitch-slap each other!

  2. #2
    Senior Member kickstart 1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    26 times in 18 posts
    Ah , all in a days work for a woman !

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. anyone in a job rut like mine
    By zulander in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 15-09-2006, 01:03 AM
  2. I need a job in Canada
    By Kezzer in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 29
    Last Post: 08-06-2005, 09:57 PM
  3. worth me asking about job, temp to pernament ?
    By Snow-Munki in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 16-09-2004, 08:19 PM
  4. I got a new job!
    By Slick in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 23-06-2004, 11:05 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts