confidence

[Oobie-]

You guys have brought up great points. Was nice to read it.
For me I've had small and big confidence issues, and as lucio said, thinking what others think of you, consciously and unconsciously plays a big part in how you deal with it.
I found a small start to pushing past it is to look people in the eyes when you talk to them (I never noticed that I wasn't doing it till I really started thinking about it). Greeting people, again, look at their eyes. Walk tall (cliché, sorry), I always used to look at my feet/floor when walking. I don't know about how you guys perceive this one, but when on public transport, or something similar, if you make eye contact with someone, just give them a small smile.
It can give you a nice warm feeling if they smile back. (usually even greater when its a lady )


Lastly, I believe there is a balance, too much confidence and you are one of those chumps who you can easily despise.

[manwithnoname]

...
I found a small start to pushing past it is to look people in the eyes when you talk to them (I never noticed that I wasn't doing it till I really started thinking about it).

I do this a lot at work, I'm not sure why but the more genuine people at work don't mind but 'false people/ blaggers / butt cleaners and people who will always find someone else to blame' seem to get uncomfortable and go a bit defensive. Watch out there are people who can look you in the eye and spin you a line.

I do tend to ask my collegues and friends opinions on stuff, think thats what my manager was referring to

Is this stuff about work? In general if you are not sure about something it is worth discussing it. But try and analysis the situation if possible quantify the pros and cons. Try and make it a discussion instead of one way advise, someone make a suggestion and if you can say that make sense because of 'X' but causes an issue because of 'Y'.

But if you're the company's Sir John Harvey Jones you might be in trouble

[SHare]

Maybe she was indicating that you keep deferring to your superiors for support and to double check things to often when you are right. If your unsure pull her up about it and ask her what she means outright. Its odd for a boss to tell you that your lacking confidence without actually expanding on it.

[mcmiller]

think i may just go to the doctors see if i can get them to refer me to a counsellor

[acrobat]

I think thats a good idea

[BEANFro Elite]

Simply drink a large amount of vodka. Always works.

I don't think that the lad wants to embarrass himself as well though

[mcmiller]

guess at the end of the day im just a loser

[manwithnoname]

guess at the end of the day im just a loser

I hope that's a throw way comment.

You might get general hints and tips on a forum, but the other people will not have a full understanding of the you and the way you feel. Even worst the written word can be ambiguous. Talk too someone - you suggested, yourself, that you'll go to doctors make sure you do.