Better to have loved and lost....

[ACiD303]

I don't love getting drunk, it just sorta happens. But I know that given another set of mates, I may, or could've, have given up a while ago - through the selfishness you mentioned Rave, and amongst other things. Although they make fun of it, if I put myself into their shoes, I would wonder why they would bother

It's a hard benchmark, for others to be true mates, just through drink I may make more enemies than friends, and it would probably be best that I keep making more friends (sober) than enemies, but I know that I could actually give it up in precedence to other vices. It's a crap attitude to have, but I can rarely share any true relationship, friendship or whatever, without the other having shared similar vice-related experiences and relationships...I have given up most vices, but smoking and drinking are the two things that would probably haunt me and return at some point or another - both of which I've gave up for 2 years in my life, but eventually returned to.

If I was married, there's no doubt booze is the first thing I could give up voluntarily if it were to save anything good going for me, because if it got to that stage it would be bad - so good luck Rave, going cold turkey is the only way to go (I know how moderation works - it doesn't), I just hope you don't fall into a circumstance (or what other people would call a perfectly good excuse) that would make you return to old ways - hope you have a merry xmas and a happy new year.

[tiggerai]

Rave, You know we're all behind you (not literally, as that would be a bit freaky) so good luck with your plan!

I could never give up alcohol... I tried once. Lasted 3 months. but then I've never had a problem with it to need to give it up.

I admire you for having the balls to mjake such a decision and stick to it!

[Stringent]

All the best Rave. Not sure what else to say ...


On the side, at the bottom where it has Similar Threads, the last one is "Best ever Strategy Game" LOL! Sorry, I just found it slightly amusing given the circumstances ...

[pauldarkside]

Rave, I wish you the best of luck with your endeavours to save your marriage. Alcohol goes a long way to mask who you really are, so perhaps giving it up will allow others, including your wife, to enjoy the real you.

I very rarely drink these days as I know fool well I'd find it extremely difficult to stop; I was never content at being tipsy or drunk, for me heading straight to paraletic was the only outcome - desired or not.

Moderation can be a difficult level to achieve and it requires discipline to know how and when to stop before the intake becomes detrimental. Perhaps stopping altogether, if only for a while to give things a chance to recover, and then allowing yourself, with help from friends and your wife if necessary, to retrain your habit might work.

Again, I wish you the best of luck with it all. It's a horrible task to have to deal with but the sooner to learn to control it, as opposed to it controlling you, the better off you and those around you will be. If you feel I’m talking tosh then just ignore it; advice is free.

[Allen]

I used to drink a lot until I worked in public houses, it's amazing how that can help you to cut down on alcohol. For years I went into pubs to get drunk, then working in a pub you stay completely sober and watch people come in to get drunk and you see what alcohol really does to people. Anyone wanting to give up should go and work in a pub!

Suffice to say I have only been drunk once or twice since working in pubs, and those times were in the safety of being in my house or friends houses, never out in a pub or club, I just don't feel safe drinking out in public after witnessing some nasty things.

[0iD]

You can do it Rave mi old mate, last time I gave up I lasted over 10 years, so IT CAN BE DONE!

And if anyone can do it, you can bud, you're the indefatigable Ravemeister, the legend, the people's champion!

[Zak33]

Rave: will you just stop? Or will you knock it down over a week?

Whatever you feel you should do, we will all support you

[Mike Fishcake]

You can do it. Although I've never really been a big drinker anyway, the most it's ever been has a few drinks once a week, in 2003 I got absolutely slaughtered at a work's xmas do and completely humiliated myself. I went teetotal for 13 months after that. 13 months wasn't an "aim", it just sort of happened - even after that I didn't drink much, just the occasional glass of something at family and celebration occasions. A couple of weeks ago, I got drunk for the first time in years, and managed to injure myself. It was only very minor; a few scratches and cuts here and there, but it was enough to make me think "i'm gonna go teetotal again".

As someone that's done it before, here's a couple of hints

- Don't go on and on about it to your mates or other people, they'll either get very bored of it, think you're being self-righteous or try to get you pissed again
- Replace your drinking with something else. Myself? Innocent smoothies. Yep - more expensive than regular juice, but holy crap they're delicious and healthy as well. Making your own is better, but let's face it, a bit of a pain in the arse, and not the sort of thing you can be bothered doing every day. It looks great to see your fridge loaded up with all sorts of stuff like that. Healthy doesn't have to mean disgusting taste.

It may not be easy, but it's certainly possible.

Personally, I'd just give up straight away. Don't set youself a date - you're just building it up as a massive event. Don't "allow" yourself one more drinking session, because you're seeing it as a 'treat' rather than something that's unnecessary.

[usxhe190]

Good work Rave - keep at it and you will be free from the binge drinking culture

[Stewart]

Well Rave me old mate, its better to have loved and lost, than to be a piss head for the rest of your lfe.

Good luck with it.

[Rave]

Thanks again everyone.

Personally, I'd just give up straight away. Don't set youself a date - you're just building it up as a massive event. Don't "allow" yourself one more drinking session, because you're seeing it as a 'treat' rather than something that's unnecessary.

Yeah, I know, I don't plan to actually get drunk ever again, even on New Year's Eve. For a start I won't get to the restaurant where we're seeing in the new year until after 10pm thanks to a fairly late finish at work, and then it's a restaurant, rather than a wild party, so I won't be able to start really tipping booze down my neck.

After that it's a (strictly spousally moderated) tot of the good stuff until it's all gone, and then no more. Right now I'm sitting here sipping the minature of whisky that my secret santa gave me and really enjoying the aroma and flavour- previously I'd have necked it in one, done a quick Jack Nicholson impression, and reached straight for the next one.

[manwithnoname]

I must admit I'm not sure if I ever thought I had a problem with drink - I would need to consume a set amount before I would consider going home, I would skip an evening meal on Thursday's and Friday's as I would be down the pub. It was taking it toll, in more way than one, so one day I stopped and I've never been more miserable since ... seriously my life wasn't going in the direction I wanted it to go, I'm still not where I want to be but I am heading in the general direction of Utopia rather than down some abyss. I never said to myself I'll never drink again, it's just than I never saw the point of just have a pint so if I didn't want to have at least 5 or 6 pints I wouldn't start the first one.

If there any any people thinking how boring it is in a pub not having a drink, it's the people you are with that make a good night not how drunk you are.

Not sure how much you spend on booze but when I stopped I had lots of spare cash, I gave up smoking soon after and suddenly had a shed load of cash - you never know rave you may be able to afford a house

Good luck

[pauldarkside]

rave you may be able to afford a house

I think Rave's got enough on his plate without having to expend energy on the whole buy/rent debate again

[hitman67]

Best of luck mate, a Habit I kicked about 2 years ago. I used to drink pretty much every other night then starting driving for work at 7 the next morning, I was NEVER fit to drive but I was dumb enough to do it anyway. I only truly realized after I had almost destroyed my relationship and nearly had a huge accident because of it.

It's not easy, it was hell and back for me but I had the willpower and people around me to make it possible. Only thing I have touched since is a glass of wine for a toast on Christmas Day, and it is only ever one, and I do not regret it one bit.

Serious respect from someone on the other side.

[mosherben]

There's a line for when you are drinking booze socially, and then drinking just for the hell of it. I've had a few times when I have gone 'out of control'- a time when I actually decided that drinking 2 bottles of wine on an empty stomach would be a good idea before going clubbing. Needless to say, I lasted about an hour before leaving.

Since then, I drink in moderation and stick to my personal limit when I do go out drinking- either clubbing or with just a mate or two at a quiet place.

My mate has spoken to me about quitting drinking for his new years resolution, and while his reasons are not the same as yours, it shows you are not alone in your goal; to not drink again. Help will be available both offline, and of course on Hexus to make you achieve what you have set out to do.

Good luck Rave