Why does bordem make me so self destructive?

[TheAnimus]

Ok, this might seam like an odd rant, but here goes.

The company I work for, been a hedge fund are bleeding edge capitalists, they are ruthless buggers. Like most hedge funds they have been downsizing a bit lately as investor confidence is causing issues with the fund of fund clients. My desk head has decided to resign, closing on a considerably above average high, he is moving back home, he dosen't seam to like it here any more.

This has left me in a pickle, with all the buisness contracting, they simply don't know what to do with me. They don't want to make me redudant, but don't have any suiteable rolls for me. I am now in a back office posistion (this means i'm doing the digital equivilent of pushing paper around), surrounded by people who seam to be coding up boring data munging apps, that are only required because they are suffering by bad design to begin with.

In effect i've been demoted, only they haven't actually had the guts to tell me this, so I'm left with no work to do, and no boss.

The devil makes work for idle hands they say!

This week, i've spent no less than £500 on alcohol. I just feel completely empty, woundering what the hell it is i'm doing, i just feel the need to get a total change of space.

I'm stuck with nothing to do, so my mind is taking in all the problems around me, i've seen my friends be fired because a new manager fails to understand what they actually do, incompitent people be given more members to their team because their projects are failing. I'm worried that an ex of mine has taken her exit interview so badly she is going to give up working in computer science related disaplines.

The atmosphere of my friends is also unplesant, all the people i know from my first place are pissed off because their bonuses have been unfairly capped for a months basic, these are not people who are paid enough for that not to make a massive difference in their lifes. My friends at my current place are all quite worried that they are going to be fired, and they see me, been given a roll that i clearly don't want, at the expense of someone who had been doing it for 2.5 years. I feel like a total douche for getting someone fired, and then been ungrateful for the job, but i didn't ask them to do that, if they offered me redundancy i'd take it. I know this sounds arogant but I'm well enough above average that i've had my 3rd other offer in this week, and i've not even been looking for a job. Plenty of the people i work with (one college in particular) are not so lucky to be so known in the industry and I feel like i've got someone fired who is going to have a much harder time finding another job, when if i took a bit more of a risk, and resigned, it might not have happened.

This weekend is a landmark for me in a way, its 2 years i've lived in my own flat, I turned 24 last month, and my life just isn't a barrel of laughs anymore. It seams to be getting progressively worse as I go on in many ways. I've got less cash savings (new kitchen) so I can't take 3 months to find a new job, making sure its 'perfect' for me, can't go on holiday, and i've got a roll that i can't stand, with people who hate me because of the whole replacing their friends in that team thing.

[matty-hodgson]

how on earth can you drink £500 of alcohol in a week?

[format]

My advice would be... step back and try and see your life in a bit of context.
The fact that you are complaining that you are bored and as a result have spent £500 on alcohol says it all really.
I'm only 20 and this is only my second year away from home so perhaps I'm not the best person to be taking 'life advice' (whatever that is) but it seems like you have the basics of your life sorted.
You have a job that pays well and you can seemingly easily trade that for a better one with a little bit of patience. You've got your own flat.
Me on the other hand, I'm going home to share a small room with my brother this summer to work in a kitchen for 40 hours a week earning minimum wage, because there doesn't seem to be any jobs going in the city.

Find some hobbies, start doing some more exercise. Go on a cheap camping holiday somewhere with a couple of mates. Take up a martial art. Take some drugs and go clubbing til 6am. Find a girlfriend (or a boyfriend w/e) Take some holiday time and volunteer for some charity work abroad.

Try at least one of the above and I guarantee you will feel better for it.

[format]

how on earth can you drink £500 of alcohol in a week?

He never said he drank it all. Besides, I could drink £500 worth of alcohol in one day - a bottle of bubbly can easily cost double that. Or a rare single malt.

[Jay]

stay off the champagne from virgin's belly buttons and things will start to look better!

[yamangman]

£500 on alcohol, a new kitchen, 3 job offers in a week. What a terribly unfair and unfortunate position you find yourself!

[manwithnoname]

I hate it when people tell me to "get some perspective on ..." they normally give the speech when I'm least receptive to good advice.

I can offer no advice on what direction you should take, but take into account you can take a holiday next year, you can normally take new job but still look for the ideal job (contract permitting).
Everyone lets off a bit of steam now and again, just make sure you don't over do it - a family friend and a cousin, both early forties, lost their battle with alcoholism this week.

[TheAnimus]

£500 on alcohol, a new kitchen, 3 job offers in a week. What a terribly unfair and unfortunate position you find yourself!

I said it was an odd rant.

Most of my friend circle are people working in the city, i have only 2 friends in london who don't, i know my city mates have mostly got it worse than i have, from having no bonus (which for many accounts for all non essentail purchases) to been made redundant. Thats the problem, going to join a team where i've been demoted into a roll, which they have fired someone to make for me. I don't know how to coupe with people on that team hating me, and feeling like i'm responsible for getting someone fired for a role i don't want!

Doesn't make you feel good. Then when you've got no actual work to do, you do nothing but dwell on that. But when you find yourself drinking that much, something is rather wrong and i need to address that.

[BEANFro Elite]

I don't think you should feel too bad about apparently getting someone fired, you don't know the whole story (I presume), maybe that person had terrible punctuality, or didn't work very hard or just wasn't as talented as you are theres a reason they went to those to keep you.

On the other hand, you have had a number of job offers when you haven't even looked for them, you have your own flat, you've done up your kitchen thats already more than what a lot of people in London have yet they've lost everything; whether you choose to see it or not you are indeed a young man, you don't have anyone depending on you so all you have to worry about is yourself.

Some things do take their time to resolve themselves, keep a look out for better job opportunities keep yourself busy with side projects and don't dwell on immediately bleak things in your life for too long as nothing is forever, I know this all too well, its spirit and determination that will see you through all your problems


I don't care what anyone says, I'd rather be at work than be on benefits

[Stringent]

You just going through a sucky time at the mo mate. I hope things work out for you though. As for the drink, the first step to resolving it is realising it so they say. So you not beyond help!

Besides you have a whole bunch of mates on here as well to lend their cyber-support.

[TheAnimus]

I'm not at an alcholoic drinking at home alone stage, i've just been going out every night, staying out till 4am dosen't seam a problem when you don't have any projects to do. I'm a control freak, whos a tinsy bit OC, having no control, a massive demotion, and no work to get my teeth into.

Its just the loathing going back there, i just need to get my next job sorted, and stop going out to get **** faced. Absanth Gas Chambers are ok when your at uni, but when your doing 3 of them, i think there are questions that have to be made. Might see if theres any good charity work that IT4C need doing or something to distract me.

[Lee H]

Start a new hobby, something that is going to be time consuming and keeps your mind occupied.

[0iD]

Have you thought about taking a sabbatical to try & regain some sort of perspective on life? I can highly recommend it

[JPreston]

Either that, or a woman

[IBM]

Assert yourself. You're smart - very smart - and can probably see what you should be doing better than your immediate bosses can, so put a plan of action together, write it up in to a formal proposal, and present it to whichever level of management has the clout to put it into action.

People only resent arrogance when there's nothing to back it up, but if you've got the skills and the tenacity, what have you got to loose? If they fire you, you get a months gardening leave, giving you time to find a better job....

Demand your own department, your own team, your own projects. Point out flaws in the system, and what you'd do to fix them. Something that makes them think you capable of doing things other than what you'd been doing previously.

Nothing to loose.

[TheAnimus]

Tried it, there is a massive failing system, 6 devs spent 18 months on it. Its the most shockingly useless turd (i don't want to give any details, for obvious reasons).

They are determined to dig their way out of it, by spending more time and money, its far too political. So i went on a different tack, and was talking to two of the traders i know quite well in a different desk. These guys are still waiting on a simple request they made some 2 years ago. I nocked them up a really hacky spreedsheet alternative because i was bored with no work in about 3 hours. I was very forcefully politely told that they weren't my users.

I'm giving serious thought to joining a friends consultantcy, I was even at the stage of asking these guys about prices for features, selling it Software As a Service style. Plus my old desk head has asked if i want to come to his new venture, but i don't fancy moving to the required country.

I need to snap myself out of this, try and get something that dosen't make me feel bitter and pissed off (nothing like having other desks picking over the IP you've made in the last 2 years wanting whole swades of it, only for their developement support staff to be very hostile against it, wanting it all thrown away in effect).

I think the IT4C thing is the best idea i've had so far, with any luck one of the requests sounds like its my sort of thing. Either way i've got to stop just going out punishing my liver because i'm bored!