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Thread: Retirement Bonus

  1. #1
    HEXUS.timelord. Zak33's Avatar
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    Retirement Bonus

    Here ya go,... a joke from my Mum

    RETIREMENT BONUS

    The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early
    retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for
    Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line
    between any Two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those
    two points would be.

    The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of
    His head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked
    out with a bonus of $72,000.

    The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
    measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked
    Out with $96,000.

    The third one was a noncommissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who,
    when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of
    my manhood to my testicles.'

    It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider,
    explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two Officers had
    received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with
    him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.

    The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,'
    which He did.. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of
    the Chief's weenie and began to work back. Dear Lord!' he suddenly
    exclaimed, 'Where Are your testicles?'

    The old Chief calmly replied, ' Vietnam '.

    Quote Originally Posted by Advice Trinity by Knoxville
    "The second you aren't paying attention to the tool you're using, it will take your fingers from you. It does not know sympathy." |
    "If you don't gaffer it, it will gaffer you" | "Belt and braces"

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    badass (23-08-2009),BlackDwarf (23-08-2009),Disturbedguy (24-08-2009),shadowmaster (23-08-2009)

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    Re: Retirement Bonus

    Made me laugh
    "In a perfect world... spammers would get caught, go to jail, and share a cell with many men who have enlarged their penises, taken Viagra and are looking for a new relationship."

  4. #3
    HEXUS.social member Disturbedguy's Avatar
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    Re: Retirement Bonus

    Made me giggle
    Quote Originally Posted by TAKTAK View Post
    It didn't fall off, it merely became insufficient at it's purpose and got a bit droopy...

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