The all new "Old Uncle 0iD's Unserious Agony Uncle Thread"

[0iD]

ALL your questions answered, after a fashion, in a completely irrelevant & sometimes irreverent fashion. Just for a laff


*DISCLAIMER*
Any resemblance of the replies contained herein to actual advice is merely coincidental and is NOT to be adhered to in any way shape or form. The author & Hexus accept NO liability for anyone stoopid enough to take heed of the dross written herein, and any offense taken is taken at the readers' liberty & is completely unintentional buy the author, and personally, you should be ashamed, really...you complete nobber

[Salazaar]

Dear Uncle 0iD,

Why are we here?

[0iD]

Dear Uncle 0iD,

Why are we here?

F*cked if I know tbh. Probably so women have something to nag into an early grave.

[TAKTAK]

Dear Uncle 0iD,

Why does some cheese have holes in it?

[Rob_B]

Dear Auntie Trevor, where are my pills?

[0iD]

Dear Uncle 0iD,

Why does some cheese have holes in it?

Because that cheese is made with rude foreign farting bacteria. The bacteria farts fill the cheese with rancid bacterial fartgas bubbles.

True story

[0iD]

Dear Auntie Trevor, where are my pills?

In the fridge, next to the John Smiths.

[stevie lee]

Dear uncle OiD

why do i keep typing strange or sometimes abusive posts on HEXUS? this happens on a 3-4 month cycle and its recently started again. is there anyway to stop myself from doing it?
I have repeatedly banged my head over the course of my life in various accidents, could this be something to do with it?

[0iD]

Dear uncle OiD

why do i keep typing strange or sometimes abusive posts on HEXUS? this happens on a 3-4 month cycle and its recently started again. is there anyway to stop myself from doing it?
I have repeatedly banged my head over the course of my life in various accidents, could this be something to do with it?

Dear Stevie,

I feel it's all hormonal & linked to the male equivalent of the menstral cycle which is what chicks get on every month and give us chaps grief. Obviously being a lazy male slack-arsed loafing goodfornothing waster, instead of 1 moth (like what it is for wimmin), yours happens over a longer period of time, otherwise known as "when I can be arsed".

As for the head injuries, I suggest you ask your GP to get you a brain scan ASAP. It might... and I'm not wanting to get your hopes up here, but you just might turn out you actually really do have one after all.

[Funkstar]

Dear uncle OiD

Why does my neck click?

[Terbinator]

Dear uncle OiD

Why does my neck click?

Please help him OiD - He's my best friend, and we've come on here for help as it isn't a very funny situation for people like my friend who's neck clicks.

[Iron Sights]

Dear Uncle OiD,

Why are smurfs blue?

[Zhaoman]

Dear Uncle 0iD,

What are the missing steps in this logical sequence? 2,7,3,6,5,5,...,...,12,3

Also, why do Mensa like sequences so much?

[pollaxe]

Dear Uncle Oid,
Did Richard III do it? I mean, really?
It's keeping me awake at nights.

[eshrules]

Dear Uncle 0iD,

why are all my friends turning gay?

[0iD]

Dear uncle OiD

Why does my neck click?

Because someone punched you there sometime in your formative years, mysteriously damaging it in a way that baffles the medical profession and causing you to spam Internet forums remorselessly in an inept bit to gain sympathy.