Old Uncle 0iD's Unserious Agony Uncle Thread

[0iD]

ALL your questions answered, after a fashion, in a completely irrelevant & sometimes irreverent fashion. Just for a laff


*DISCLAIMER*
Any resemblance of the replies contained herein to actual advice is merely coincidental and is NOT to be adhered to in any way shape or form. The author & Hexus accept NO liability for anyone stoopid enough to take heed of the dross written herein, and any offence taken is taken at the readers' liberty & is completely unintentional buy the author, and personally, you should be ashamed, really...

[Terbinator]

I've had this problem for a while now... Even when its turned on i still cant get it up... im mashing, and mashing away at the key, but too not joy it just wont come

Anyone no how to get into my BIOS ?

[kalniel]

Where do babies come from Uncle OiD?

[Andeh13]

More importantly, how can I put the baby back into said location when she doesn't stop screaming at me!?

[0iD]

... Even when its turned on i still cant get it up... im mashing, and mashing away at the key, but too not joy it just wont come

With a screwdriver and some Viagra

Where do babies come from Uncle OiD?

Mothercare

More importantly, how can I put the baby back into said location when she doesn't stop screaming at me!?

+

[Knoxville]

Last night I was on top of a lady, she was breathless and calling my name....what am I doing wrong? should I be holding the pillow down harder?

[TAKTAK]

I always had a relatively happy life, up until secondary school, where I started to get bullied.
This came to a head in Year 9, when out of nowhere the bully came up to me and punched me hard in the back of the neck.
Now I have seen a chiropractor (unsuccesfully), I have been told I am probably going to have to keep the clicking/cracking in my neck.

It is this clicking/cracking which I have got ever since I got punched.

What should i do?

[Andeh13]

Last night I was on top of a lady, she was breathless and calling my name....what am I doing wrong? should I be holding the pillow down harder?

Repeating said line to the misses has now landed me in the dog house! OiD; how can Knoxville be suitably punished?

[Clunk]

Last night I was on top of a lady, she was breathless and calling my name....what am I doing wrong? should I be holding the pillow down harder?

Ventolin.

[alsenior]

why does my house smell like swede and carrot and how can i remove it ?

[0iD]

Last night I was on top of a lady, she was breathless and calling my name....what am I doing wrong? should I be holding the pillow down harder?

She will love you forever if you get her one of these, that is if you weren't wearing yours already.

I always had a relatively happy life, up until secondary school, where I started to get bullied.
This came to a head in Year 9, when out of nowhere the bully came up to me and punched me hard in the back of the neck.
Now I have seen a chiropractor (unsuccesfully), I have been told I am probably going to have to keep the clicking/cracking in my neck.

It is this clicking/cracking which I have got ever since I got punched.

What should i do?

Get a life, Loooooser!

[0iD]

why does my house smell like swede and carrot and how can i remove it ?

Move your illegally parked caravan out of the poor farmers field, move on & get a job pikey skum.

[Zak33]

My neck clicks...

should I worry?

[0iD]

My neck clicks...

should I worry?

No, TAKTAK's beat you to it

[shelley bda]

Dear Uncle 0iD...

Do you know of any way I can stealthily beat my 15 year old without comeback please?. Theres also a persistant whiny noise emanating from him, do you know how I can stop that without the need for duct tape? can't have scars either

Thank you very very muchly

Is it just me! or is anyone thinking about how on earth we coped with our little niggles before Uncle 0iD came along?

[0iD]

Dear Uncle 0iD...

Do you know of any way I can stealthily beat my 15 year old without comeback please?. Theres also a persistant whiny noise emanating from him, do you know how I can stop that without the need for duct tape? can't have scars either

Thank you very very muchly

Is it just me! or is anyone thinking about how on earth we coped with our little niggles before Uncle 0iD came along?

Personally, in such a scenario I'd threaten to tell ALL his friends he has a badly underdeveloped winky, he likes to call Mr Peanut, and that he still wets the bed and has to wear adult nappies. And if he gives me any more grief threaten to have T-Shirts printed up with the most embarrassing photo's you can find & wear them about town. Whilst not a particularly 'stealth' attack, being a teen, social embarrassment on a grand scale I find is a great incentive to "Shut the hell up and stop bluddy wingeing".