Friday Humour....

[Applecrusher]

What do you call a man in a pile of leaves???


Russle

[StarkMjolk]

Daddy tomato and baby tomato walks along a road, baby tomato can't keep up. Daddy tomato walks up to baby tomato and crushes him to the street and says: Ketch up!

I just noticed: One bad joke is never fun. >10 bad jokes can almost be amusing

[Nick]

A dog limps into a saloon and says " I'm lookin' fer the man who shot ma paw.."

[Howard]

A dog limps into a saloon and says " I'm lookin' fer the man who shot ma paw.."

[megah0]

The lone ranger is worried about his horse Silver who is suffering from heat stroke. He ties hthe horse up ouside a saloon as asks his old time friend Tonto to cool the horse by jogging around Silver to create a cooling breeze. The Lone Ranger walks into the saloon and settles down to have a drink.

A few minutes later a posse of rough looking gunslingers walk in and the roughest toughest one drawls "Who's left that big white hoss outside?"

The lone ranger kicks back from the table and stand up to face the stranger "That thar Hoss is mine, whats the damn problem"

The stranger looks him dead in the eye "Mister, your horse is just fine but you left your Injun running"

/gets coat, goat and runs for the taxi

[ekundo]

*rubs hands with glee*

did you hear the one about the magic tractor? it drove down the road and turned into a field.

[Howard]

LMFAO.

This thread is brilliant

[shiato storm]

this one might be slightly close to the line but i'll give it a go any way...so there's your warning.

Lone Ranger and Tonto are looking out onto the plains, the view strectches all the way to mountains far far away. Tonto gets off his horse and puts his ear to the ground like any good indian tracker...
"what is it tonto" says the ranger
"Buffalo come" says tonto.
At this the ranger stood in his saddle and looked around, he could see lots but no buffalo, nothing for as far as he could see. Impressed with his companion's skills the ranger asked tonto "how on earth can you tell?"
he replied: "ear stuck to ground"

[StarkMjolk]

did you hear the one about the magic tractor? it drove down the road and turned into a field.

/me falls over

[StarkMjolk]

Elvis Virus:
Your computer becomes fat and slow, later it will self destruct. Then your computer will wake up from the dead at gas stations all over USA.

Freudian Virus:
Your computer becomes obsessed with the idea of marying its own motherboard.

Air plane virus:
You are in Dallas, but all your data is in Singapore.

George W. Bush Virus:
Doesn't do anything. But you can't get rid of it until november.

Nike Virus:
Just Does It!

Ollie North Virus:
Transforms your printer into a shredder.

Brittish Parlament Virus:
Splits your screen in two peaces with a messeage in each peace that blaims the other for the current state of your system.

Warren Kommission Virus:
Denies you to open any of your files for 75 years.

I translated these from Swedish, hope you get it

[Tumble]

Two spuds were walking along when they spotted Murray Walker on the other side of the road...

"There's Murray Walker" says the first spud "Lets go and say Hi!"

"Naaa" says the second... "He's only a commentator..."

[Nick]

Two parrots were sitting on a perch, one turns to the other and says, "Can you smell fish?".

[Nick]

The lone ranger is out riding the range when he comes across Tonto, lying with his ear to the ground.

Tonto says, "Wagon come this way."

The lone ranger asks him to go on.

Tonto says "Pulled by four horses, one white one, two brown and one black and brown"

The lone ranger is amazed at the detail and asks if ther is anymore info.

Tonta says "Wagon has white awning, driven by man in red shirt with large moustache,"

The lone ranger is amazed "How can you tell all that just by having your ear to the ground"

Tonto replies, "It ran over me"

[Tumble]

Did ya hear about the dyslexic pimp??








He bought a Warehouse...

[Nick]

A prawn walks into a bar, the barman says " Sorry mate, we don't serve seafood"

[Nick]

A mushroom walks into a bar, the barman refuses to serve him. "Why not?", says the mushroom, "I'm a funghi!"