A piece of string walks into a bar and the landlord shouts "OI!! We don't serve string in here"
So the string walks out again... ruffles the top of his head and ties a knot in his neck... Goes back in and orders a pint
The Barman asks if he's the same bit of string that came in earlier.. and the string replies "No, I'm afraid not.."
Originally Posted by The Quentos
A suicidal seal walked into a bar and asked for a Canadian Club on the rocks.
A man walks into a bar and ask "Do you serve prawns here mate?" The barman replies "We'll serve anyone, we're not fussy."
2 fonts walk into a bar....
"OI!!" Shouts the Landlord... "Out!! we don't serve your type in here"
oh dear god...
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Bill and Ben, the Flowerpot men, were in the bath... Ben goes "Follobolobolob...", Bill says, "If that smells, you're out!"
Two monkeys were about to get in the bath when one goes "Ooh-eeh-ahh-ahh-AAHH!"
The other monkey says "Well put some more hot water in if its too cold!"
Richard Whitely was sitting in the channel 4 bar when he heard a small voice saying "ooh, that's a nice jacket Mr. Whitely"
He looked round, but he was alone in the bar.
He heard another small voice.. "Ooh... that's a splendid tie Mr. Whitely.."
Richard was still alone in the bar.. he calls over the barkeep and asks him if he's heard any little voices.
The bar keep smiled and said "That'll be the peanuts, Sir, they're complimentary"
A bloke walks into a bar with a chunk of tarmac under his arm.
"Pint of Stella" he says to the barman... "And one for the road"
A Malteser and a Revel were walking down the road when a Strepsil came up the other way... the Malteser ducked into a shop front until the Strepsil had passed by.
"Why'd you do that?", said the Revel.
"Don't you know about that Strepsil?", said the Malteser, "He's menthol!"
A bloke was sitting at the bar when he heard a voice say, "OI! You ugly goit! Wanna fight, do ya?!!"
Rather worried, the bloke turns round to see nothing but a bottle of beer next to him.
"Don't worry", says the barman, "It's just the drink talking"
actually...though perhaps poor they are pretty funny. Deckard, is all you do all day cooking and telling jokes?
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Q - What does DNA stand for?
A - National Dyslexic Association.
Two snowmen in a field, one turns to the other and says "Can you smell carrots?"
I got me coat.....Taxi!!
A penguin walks into a bar and says to the barman,"Has my brother been in here?".
"Dunno", says the barman, "What's he look like?".
Two fish in a tank, one turns to the other and says, "Do YOU know how to drive this thing?"
wow, and i thought i was good at bad jokes
Pirates = Win.
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