break ups

[Sid Vicious]

Maybe you should just let nature run it's course and let people worry about thier own problems?

[lynni]

Maybe you should just let nature run it's course and let people worry about thier own problems?

yeah maybe but shes come to me, ringing me and crying cos this person wont speak to her or such and such has said this

It doesnt matter that she has found herself someone else, its the fact she has been dishonest and only used our 'friendship' when its suited her

[TiG]

Lynni,

Maybe she thought that if she told you straight away that would push you away as well?, it must be hard for anyone to loose all their friends because of a relationship break up, which is why you must have your own friends before you go into the relationship and keep them all the way through it. They are your friends after all....

I can understand that people leaving a relationship might rather tend to go on the rebound rather quickly, her loneliness might just have turned into wanting some physical comfort. Especially if they break up was hard.

There is always two sides to every story and it sounds like you are always going to be in a lose lose situation here with the fact that both sides where "close". I'm not quite sure if you where her only apparent friend that you either stick by her and the choices she's made or you don't. But if you don't you can't have been that close in the first place....

In which case did you really expect her to share all the sordid details with you?, Keeping the worst of things to yourself is human nature, unless you hit total and utter rock bottom and the general thing is to scream for help with actions rather than asking it from words?

You've been kind to her, and in your opinion you've been lied to, i wouldn't push it as far as this, i'd merely say to you that if you had been kind and caring to her - she wouldn't want to alienate you by telling you this either.

Friends may not share EVERY single last detail with you, i don't tell anyone all my secrets does that make me a bad friend?, No it doesn't. She may not view this bloke as important at all, she may know that he's not right for her and she will be rid of him in a week after she feels a bit better.

But if you are truely her friend then you won't let this get between you as friends, and if you do let it get between you then you weren't friends in the first place...

Don't let it get to you tho, being bitter about things in life like this is just not worth it

TiG

[lynni]

But she wouldnt have, i wouldnt have been particularly bothered..... i was very hurt and shocked though by what i saw on Saturday. And no you dont tell your mates everything, and that certainly doesnt make you a bad mate. But to be invited round to someones new house and to find a complete stranger there as well, behaving like her boyfriend which we wasnt even aware of it.... is out of order i think, if someone has looked after you and gone out of their way to ensure that your ok (like ive done) then thats not a way to treat your friends. But she has been bouncing us all off each other though, there was about five girls round at their house on saturday night, combined with all his laddy mates.... we was having a chat and apparently she has told us all the same thing about how we wont speak to her cos of who he is, which is complete utter rubbish!

Ive learnt alot about this relationship/break up since saturday and there are two sides to every story.... this has been something which has been building up over the past two years and apparently she has been moving out since this time last year, only he hasnt actually made her follow through her threat which is what has happened this time. What she said was an idle threat during yet another of their row's but this time he said 'yes actually go, i dont want you here anymore' But being the lovely guy that he is (and he is a geniunely nice guy ) he made sure she had a house to move into, he made sure she was ok with money and then he helped her pack everything up and move. But she hates him more now, cos although he helped her pack and load it, he didnt help her unpack at the other end and thats worth a hanging in her opinion

She has also decided that his closest mate which happens to be female is also now his girlfriend, she has said this to me time and time again whilst they were still together (trust on her half didnt exist) it wasnt true, they were very close friends and had been along time before she appeared. Unfortunately she couldnt accept that and thats drove a wedge between them as well, but now they have split she has decided he wont care about her 'cos hes got her now' this guy looked me in the eye on saturday night and told me nothing was going on btwn them and then again tonight on the phone.... i believe him, the guy doesnt have a cheating bone in his body.

The whole thing is a complete mess and at the moment me and her arent friends, because all she wants is the sympathy vote and to be perfectly honest after the way she has behaved this weekend (the house and everything else that happened) and the way she has spoken to me about him i dont really want to talk to her. i tried to sort this out last night, told her i was still prepared to stand by her and be her friend.... but she just threw it back in my face, most likely because my conversation with her was to the point, and lacked any sympathy that she wanted

:tig: im not having a go at you over this ok? i dont want you to read this and see it as a dig at you, cos it isnt..... but its monday evening still, ive had this all weekend and im still very annoyed with her