Word Women Use

[Spunkey]

Its not sexist if its true - as im sure most of the attached men here can testify to

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right
and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this
will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football
game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually
used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out,
upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will
last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows! )
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing"
and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get
a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and
"Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood
by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and
wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over
"Nothing"

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is
content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man.
"That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back
for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word
"Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD!
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big
trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to
come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that
you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you
shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when
she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some
callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what
is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"

[Big RICHARD]

Grrrrrrr! They make me so ANGRY cos they are so true!

'NOTHING' gets at me the most. I have just started acting like nothing is actually wrong when I get this. She soon gets the picture and tells me!

[Elmo]

heh, yeah gotta admit, they are true, and i'm guilty of just about all of them, cant help saying/doing them, they just happen, sorry

[directhex]

actually i use most of them as well

[Auran]

It was always silence that worried me most - then you knew that you were REALLY in trouble

[ACiD303]

Never show a woman this . . . coz then they know that you know . . . they can now make it 10x worse!

[RoGuE|SaBeR]

Scarily accurate...

Another one is "I don't care" coupled with a death stare which usually means you just screwed up BIG TIME and you will not looked at, never mind spoke to, for the next few days at the very least.

[Twigman]

*SIGH*
I hate you all. You're all bastards. All men should die.

[Knoxville]

Alrite sweary Mcswear, calm down

[Byatt]

*SIGH*
I hate you all. You're all bastards. All men should die.

Just to increase the annoyance here, I'm going to point out the fact that all men do, in fact, die.