Daughters! female perspective required

**0iD** · 09-03-2005, 11:57 PM

Right, my two eldest live with their mum & come & go round mine a they please. Alana's nearly 13 & Daniell'e 11. Both tall slim blonde pretty & by all accounts popular.

Now I chat with htem on msn all the time. It's just their msn handles i'm having a problem with. That is

Am i being over sensitive? I know theyre growing up n'all but I'm having a problem dealing with it.

A little female perspective would be appreciated (Honoop, Tiggerai, Elmo at-al). How does a dad 'tactfully' handle the boyfriend question?

**Kezzer** · 10-03-2005, 12:00 AM

It's a typical thing for them to do, i wouldn't worry about it

**0iD** · 10-03-2005, 12:01 AM

But they're my lil babies!

**Tifosi** · 10-03-2005, 12:09 AM

I guess there is no point in turning a blind eye to it. But likewise I'd share your concern especially at 13. Youth society is just becoming more grown up at younger ages.

Christ i'm sorting out my pension and i'm 20, I wasn't planning on thinking about that for a long time

**shiato storm** · 10-03-2005, 12:18 AM

unless you can get them to stop Leet speak..

**0iD** · 10-03-2005, 12:23 AM

I wish

tsk, kids of today...

**XA04** · 10-03-2005, 01:37 AM

i wouldn't worry about it... but start a convo about it on msn

, just say "so who's james then?"

**Knoxville** · 10-03-2005, 08:35 AM

Most of the younger girls on my contact list (makes me sound a bit dodgy saying that I know) Have similar screenames, I know their your daughters and that makes it far harder to not worry about them but tbh screenames doesn't equate to what they get up to/are like irl in my experience.

**0iD** · 10-03-2005, 08:48 AM

Originally Posted by Knoxville

Most of the younger girls on my contact list (makes me sound a bit dodgy saying that I know) Have similar screenames, I know their your daughters and that makes it far harder to not worry about them but tbh screenames doesn't equate to what they get up to/are like irl in my experience.

Cheers Knoxy, I should trust them & I try, really I do.

**Mrs Dak** · 10-03-2005, 10:42 AM

What Knox said. Our girls are similar ages, and all their mates have similar screen names. As long as they know you trust them and they can always talk to you, they will tell you about boys when they are ready. Don't expect them to be too forthcoming though - you're their Dad, girls talk to their mates about boys, not their parents.

**0iD** · 10-03-2005, 10:44 AM

Tell me 'bout it, I get sent out of the room if they talk boys with my wife

**tiggerai** · 10-03-2005, 10:47 AM

Originally Posted by 0iD

Tell me 'bout it, I get sent out of the room if they talk boys with my wife

Ahh... now this is a better arrangement, as at least someone is keeping an eye.

I wouldn't worry about it... It's typical young girl behaviour!

Always around for advice if needed!

**0iD** · 10-03-2005, 10:51 AM

Well the ex wife doesn't seem to give a stuff. Jac (the mrs) tries to take an interest. Leaves me feeling somewhat helpless tho.

**EvilMunky** · 10-03-2005, 10:53 AM

Im not a dad but i can imagine your in a tuff place.

Maybe just let them know if ever they need to talk bout boys or anything that your always there and wont make it awkward for them.

**tiggerai** · 10-03-2005, 10:55 AM

Originally Posted by 0iD

Well the ex wife doesn't seem to give a stuff. Jac (the mrs) tries to take an interest. Leaves me feeling somewhat helpless tho.

It happens, you're a man.

Teenage girls don't like talking boys with their dads, hell I don't like doing it now with my parents (and I'm 22)

**Elmo** · 10-03-2005, 11:03 AM

tbh, it's just girls growing up. I know when i was around 11-15 it was all "ooo i fancy this boy" etc it's just all part of growing up, it may just be totally innocent. i.e girls scrawl all over their books etc "fi 4 ? true love always" etc etc but there's more often than not, NOTHING going on between said girl and boy.

Just give them the benifit of the doubt. I know its hard, and you're trying to protect them, but you really have to start trusting them. 13 is a difficult age anyway, dont have a go at them or anything cos at 13 you're already "omg, i'm not talking to my DAD!" so you dont want to risk pushing them away over something silly.

If it were me i'd just do as said above and start a convo like "oooo, so who's james" just jokingly winding them up kinda thing, nowt serious. they'll prolly just say "boy in my class i fancy" then you can just relax

if they say "my bf" then tbh, they prolly just have a quick peck on the lips after school

as i said, trust them, they'll thank you for it later

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