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Thread: Who said puns are bad? :D

  1. #1
    Spider pig, spider pig
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    Who said puns are bad? :D

    Some of these made me laugh, number nine nearly made me cry with laughter (and the pain of such a bad joke!)

    1. A vulture boards an aeroplane, carrying two dead racoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

    2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!".

    3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

    4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

    5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

    6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, " I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

    7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named " Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds ..... "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

    8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds.... Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that ..... only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

    9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ...(Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) ..... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

    10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

  2. #2
    Senior Member klarrix's Avatar
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    Hang your head in shame.





    (lol at number 9)

  3. #3
    hi unreal's Avatar
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    Ok I admit number 9 did make a giggle come out of me

    No harm in some humour

  4. #4
    Drop it like it's hot Howard's Avatar
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    ROFL at number 9
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  5. #5
    Xcelsion... In Disguise. Xaneden's Avatar
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    Excellent
    New Sig on the Way...

  6. #6
    OMG!! PWND!!
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    i dont get number 9 :S

  7. #7
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    great

  8. #8
    Hexus.net Troll Dougal's Avatar
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    Lol @ 9

    Used to play charades for the same kinda thing. Mine was the best imho

    Super-cauli-fridge-elastics-eggs-peas-halatosis
    Quote Originally Posted by Errr...me
    I MSN offline people
    6014 3DMk 05

  9. #9
    I Am A Princess! shelley bda's Avatar
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    Excellent stuf!!! #9 was fantastic, and i liked #2 ( sad i know )

  10. #10
    Senior Members' Member Matt1eD's Avatar
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    Some I knew, but #9 was the best

  11. #11
    Easy Tiger!!!
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    Luv it!!!

  12. #12
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    These are so bad they are actually quite good!
    ยท
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    Drop it like it's hot Howard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PrivatePyle
    Its a take on a song from the cheesy film, Mary Poppins.

    Super-cali-fragilistc-expialodocous (sp)

    Super calloused fragile mystic plagued with hallitosous.
    Hexed sounds better
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  14. #14
    Ah, Mrs. Peel! mike_w's Avatar
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    Number 9 definately brought a smile to my face!
    "Well, there was your Uncle Tiberius who died wrapped in cabbage leaves but we assumed that was a freak accident."

  15. #15
    Senior Member skuzgib's Avatar
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    Richard Whitely would be proud

  16. #16
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    I liked 3.. hehe.. oh wait, that makes me a geek

    2 was pretty funny also , but heard 9 before..
    I personally like saying "very punny eh" in rl
    We cannot choose what we are.. but what are we but the sum of our choices?

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