Competition....The Best Negative Feedback ever (in 80 words or less)

[aeonf242]

Hi there, I just thought a light hearted Competition was in order!

Can you do "The Best Negative Feedback ever (in 80 words or less)" ?

Prize is immortality on the e-bay site..

Basically I bought a Laptop from a girl, it had a stock photo and was described as used. No other hint as to it's true condition.
So when it turns up it's lid is scratched and marked severely, there is a fag burn near the track point, no software discs, some sellotape holding a little side panel on, a small crack near the hinges, it stank of smoke and was badly packaged....

So I got burnt, my own fault...I'm currently pursuing here through paypal...

But can you word some killer feedback for me?

Nothing rude or offensive, just killer...

================UPDATE=================================
The Winner:

Bad Ebayer, would sell her dog's ashes as "Easy to keep pet" if she could.

I ended up with

BUYER BEWARE.Would sell a turd and describe it as 'used'.Don't trust stock photo

[Nick]

Bad Ebayer, would sell her dog's ashes as "Easy to keep pet" if she could.

Terrible EBayer: AVOID. Such a scam artist I'm surprised she's not in Nigeria.

[Taz]

I caught the clap from her laptop. Avoid!

[Lee H]

Ebayer is so good at giving spin she must be a speech writer for the Tories. Goods were just like their policy's i.e. old, dusty and totally not what they first described or even pictured when the item was for sale.

[schmunk]

'Is Paedophile. Avoid.'

[XA04]

'Is Paedophile. Avoid.'

[Jonny]

"Bought item for cousin. Item was slow to arrive and my cousin died."

Not nice, but I'm sorry to say I couldn't stop myself having a chuckle.

[furkan]

"Bought item for cousin. Item was slow to arrive and my cousin died."

Not nice, but I'm sorry to say I couldn't stop myself having a chuckle.

crude but funny

heres one :

Item is of hairy quality. Seller is evil. Avoid.

[Stringent]

"Bought item for cousin. Item was slow to arrive and my cousin died."

Not nice, but I'm sorry to say I couldn't stop myself having a chuckle.

LOL!

eBayer needs glasses as they didn't clearly know what the item looked like! Avoid.

[aeonf242]

Nearly crying woth some of these...evil but nice :-0

[Mike Fishcake]

'Is Paedophile. Avoid.'

I love that

I'm assuming you've contacted her to let her know you're a little "peeved"?

[ikonia]

simpley search ebays users for "mr_bo11ox"

read his feedback its a work of art.

surly this must be the winner

[aeonf242]

I love that

I'm assuming you've contacted her to let her know you're a little "peeved"?

Yes, she went La,la, la

[aeonf242]

I got the laptop in one piece this morning. However I must say that I'm extremely disappointed at it's condition.
The case is scratched all over, there is a crack near one of the hinges, a small burn near the touch pad and some sellotape near the speaker presumably holding the case tighter.

.

The computer is in great working condition, and I never had any problems using it.

.

If that's your final word I'll be leaving appropriate feedback.
I'm sure you'll know how I feel as you seem to have had difficulty with a standard size 16 (Underwear).
Can I just say that as an experienced e-bayer I think your description of the item and recent reply are very poor.

[Mike Fishcake]

What a lovely person.

"Item knackered. Mailed seller. Seller said 'la la la' and did nothing. You decide."

"Seller included free scratches and vile odour of her cancer-ridden hovel"

[unreal]

Yes, she went La,la, la

omg Are you serious?! Com'on guys, we've got to pull up the harshness