Wondering what to do next.....need some help tbh

[Knoxville]

so I've wisely (or not so wisely depending on how you look at it) decided to post my dilemma on here, A few weeks ago I got fired from my job, reason being I hadn't been placed on a manditory training course because the management don't know whats going on and they had an inspection team coming round to inspect the home I worked in, so rather than the management take the heat and have they're practices inspected they fired me and another member of staff.

Now this is a kick in the nads for me because I enjoyed that job, it was suited to me, night work so no early mornings, no uniform, about 8 hours out of the 10 on shift nothings happening so you can do your own thing it was spot on. Now I don't know what to do as I do desperatley need another job but I can't hack the early mornings and anywhere with a uniform policy won't take me on because of the piercings I have, so I need help and idea's guys, what kinda jobs should I be looking for and where should I be looking?

Part 2 of this debacle happened about 10 days after I got fired, there is some backstory to this so its gonna get long winded, go get a cup of tea if you have a short attention span tbh.

Right, my band had booked a long distance gig up in accrington (a few hours drive somewhere in lancs iirc) anyway we get to about a week before the gig and I ask my singer (mmh also a member here) how we're getting there? no worries he says, acaica (the band we were supporting, good friends played with em loadsa times previously) have booked a coach to take a load of fans up and we can hop on there.

Basically after this it all gets very messy, the day before the gig I get a text telling me the coach is gonna cost £10 each, I don't think we should be paying that much as we're doing acacia a favour by going up into a region where no-one knows or is gonna be coming to see us and supporting them, I complain and drag my heels a bit but agree as we'd have had to give our drummer that much to cover petrol if we'd driven. 6 hours later, another text message "it's gonna be £15 now, acacia aren't bringing as many people" that annoyed me tbh, why should I have to cover they're mistake? etc etc but I keep my mouth shut around acacia because I don't wanna piss them off and get on the coach. The gig then turns out to be a total bust for everyone concerned, its some small upstairs bar at a club, the backstage room is a disused kitchen, at the end of the night the final blow's delivered when the singer and bassists from acacia's dad (60 years old) is beaten up by the bouncer outside the club, police and lots of trash talking follows, no-one gets home till 4am.

That pretty much split the band in two then, the drummer (permanantly hyped up, every gigs the best we've ever played) and mmh (desigined acacia's website, knows them well and bums them to a certain extent) against me (thought it was a waste of time, especially after we'd said a few weeks earlier we we're gonna stop doing long distance gigs). Everything settles down then until a couple of days afterwards when we go play a small local bar we've played easily a dozen times before, turns out theres seven bands booked but as we're second from top on the bill we still get a 30 minute set, this means chopping a couple of songs so me and the lead guitarist go into the other room and write out set lists, we drop one of the newer (and to my mind unfinished) songs and sweet child of mine from the set, give the setlist to mmh who starts calling it bs and saying we should be dropping the 2 songs written before we changed lead guitarists, I disagree because while theres a decent sized crowd we should be playing our tightest material, huge argument ensues ending in him saying"well its 3 against 1 so you can go **** yourself" he then proceeds to be an ass about it all night. An argument then follows on msn where alot was said that probably shouldn't have been by both parties and the next day I email him asking if he wants to go down the pub and sort it out face to face so theres no misunderstandings, after some discussion both he and the drummer wanna wait until after we play our next gig to discuss it, Now the next gig we had booked was one I'd sorted, my mate was having his birthday party down at the rock cafe (biggish venue holds 400 people, good p.a, good stage that we all enjoyed playing) and he'd asked me If my band fancied headlining. We play the gig and its awesome, so awesome infact I get offered a job playing bass with a band on their next tour outside the venue which I turn down outta loyalty to monolith more than anything.

We then agree to get together and discuss the arguments the monday night after the gig, I walk in and get taken apart by all three of them both musically and personally, I could tell they'd been mulling it over for a while, they booted me out on the basis that I couldn't enjoy the music we we're playing because it wasn't as heavy as what I listen to, that I didn't fill the sound out enough with "little runs" (in a 3 piece I'd have agreed but not in a four piece) and that I complain too much (yeah I complain, but half of the time it was jokingly - can't believe I got outta bed for this etc and the other half it was with good reason tbh), me shocked more than anything can't really think of much to say in my defense so I leave it, take it like a man and have a beer with the guys.

Problem with being unemployed is I have waaaay too much time to think things over and to talk to other people about it and the way im seeing it now is, they kicked me out for arguing with mmh and supporting the old material that the drummer & mmh have always wanted rid of it because they still have and almost childish vendetta against our old lead guitarist (yeah he was an idiot but I saw no reason for him to have influence over a band he's no longer in) and they used to to play a big gig before kicking me out using some weaker reasons. I've tried speaking with mmh but all I've gotten back is "you were a lazy bassist and the decision has been made", the lead guitarists already confided in me (after a couple of pints admittedly) that he thinks the wrong decision may have been made, that it was nothing to do with my playing, and that while I may have moaned a bit I was always there for the band, and the drummer flat out won't talk to me (as I knew he would tbh).

That leaves me not knowing what the hell to do next, do I try and stay friends with the guys from monolith? I do miss hangin out with them and whatnot but is it worth it? I don't know wether to form a new band, I've got a couple of guitarists interested but If I do form another band I wanna be gigging regularly and im not sure they'll be into that, plus none of them have transport, do I take one of the offers I've had to play bass in other bands (including one from my old lead guitarist)? Do I give up on bands and sell off some gear/become a bedroom player again?

I don't know where my ass is hanging really, thats why I've made this collossal post and hoped some of you will read it (congrats if you have) because I need people to look at it from the outside, I've been rehashing it all in my head for weeks and its gotten me nowhere.

[Ramedge]

Form another band if you want, But why not sit at home and work on your bass playing. Become technically good! practice playing to clicks learn all the scales you can, learn different techniques.
Think of the stuff you could do if you did all this? Session musician for example, its a job and you get to play music, i know a couple of guys who got £3k for 3 days studio work filling in for some singer.

Ive been dropped from a very serious band before (which ironically i am in again) and its not great for your confidence as a musician because its such a blow. Just keep working on your bass playing.

Obviously your singer has some maturity issues as singers do, they tend to think they own the band and can get very big headed and full of them selfs.
I would of gone and found that band that wanted you to play bass for them and taken it, theres nothing wrong with being in a couple of bands, the way i see it is if i am in a couple of bands it just means i learn more and get better.

Good luck with it all mate, hope you get a job sorted out soon

Ben

[Tumble]

We play the gig and its awesome, so awesome infact I get offered a job playing bass with a band on their next tour outside the venue

Got a number? give em a call.. could be the best thing you ever do matey... unless of course they've already gone

[steve threlfall]

Knox, im gutted for you mate. It sounds as though you have had a rough few weeks here with the job and the band.

Is there no chance at all of getting your job at the home back, now that the inspection is over?

As for the band, thats harsh . A bit of ****ty thing to do, stabbing you in the back tbh, but it seems to be a case of whats done is done. Could you really go back now? would you work aswel as a band? things probably wouldnt be the same. Do you really want to go back?

If you can remain friends with the guys then that would be cool but seeying as the drummer isnt talking to you and they wanted you out of the band that might be hard . Obviously, they would be talking about the band all the time which would be a bit of a kick in the teeth. Would be great if you could all sort it out and put it behind you though.

Give up on bands? Only you know if you just need a break after all the trouble or if you really want to quit for good. Forming a new band could be good but you would need to be sure the other guys want to go the same way with it as you and be as commited. Taking one of the offers sounds like a good compromise but if its the one from the old lead guitarist then surely that will strain relations with Monolith even further?

[tiggerai]

I'm with Tumble on this one, if that's the attitude that they've got towards you then you're better off somewhere else.

If you've had offers, follow them up! You obviously love playing in a band, so go for it.

[Jonny M]

I can't really help much with regards to what you should do, but you definitely should not go back or try to, even if they do come to their senses. You will just get walked over.

Hopefully people start asking them where their bassist went

[Rhyth]

Do I give up on bands and sell off some gear/become a bedroom player again?

Nooo, get out and carry on enjoying the music with others who want to do the same. I would follow up with the other band after your bass skills and give it your best. Time is one of the best healers Nox, you may find the friendship you once had with your ex-band mates again, but for now don't let anything hold you back from the music. Chin up fella, rough with the smooth

[0iD]

stick with the playing Knox old bud, it's still early days, & it can only make you stronger as a person & as a performer. Just advertise & get another band together, some fresh meat

As for a job, what about getting into nursing? be a psychiatric nurse perhaps... Could ask the mrs to get you some info if need be.

Just keep on rockin dude!

[shelley bda]

That leaves me not knowing what the hell to do next, do I try and stay friends with the guys from monolith? I do miss hangin out with them and whatnot but is it worth it? I don't know wether to form a new band, I've got a couple of guitarists interested but If I do form another band I wanna be gigging regularly and im not sure they'll be into that, plus none of them have transport, do I take one of the offers I've had to play bass in other bands (including one from my old lead guitarist)? Do I give up on bands and sell off some gear/become a bedroom player again?

Feel gutted for you

I'd stay friends with the other guys, life's too short too hold grudges and you'll be able to put Monolith down to really good experience and move on with no hard feelings, maybe you should take up an offer of a position with a band, maybe that would be less stressful at the moment for you than forming a whole new band, i don't know. i really hope it all works out for you whatever you decide

As for the job, you can have mine, i'm sure you'd be a hit with 26 pre-school children

[smtkr]

Employment: Lose the piercings. They are tacky and holding you back.

Music: You love it. Don't bother with those assholes. Yes, you had good times and it's hard to let go, but they are obviously a lot closer with each other than with you and you will always be the odd man out. Try to grab one of the other offers or form a new band.

[mmh]

Im not here to argue, im just gonna put my 2 cents in and give information so people can judge from seeing both sides to this. Obviously, knox is gona have more stature here than i do.

Right, my band had booked a long distance gig up in accrington (a few hours drive somewhere in lancs iirc) anyway we get to about a week before the gig and I ask my singer (mmh also a member here) how we're getting there? no worries he says, acaica (the band we were supporting, good friends played with em loadsa times previously) have booked a coach to take a load of fans up and we can hop on there.

Basically after this it all gets very messy, the day before the gig I get a text telling me the coach is gonna cost £10 each, I don't think we should be paying that much as we're doing acacia a favour by going up into a region where no-one knows or is gonna be coming to see us and supporting them, I complain and drag my heels a bit but agree as we'd have had to give our drummer that much to cover petrol if we'd driven.We were playing the gig after being asked if we wanted to play, it wasnt a favor, it was them giving us a favor by giving us a gig. 6 hours later, another text message "it's gonna be £15 now, acacia aren't bringing as many people" that annoyed me tbh, why should I have to cover they're mistake?So the other band misjudged the cost of the coach? big deal? if we had done the same, we woulda been asking them for the extra money also, £5 isnt going to break the bank. etc etc but I keep my mouth shut around acacia because I don't wanna piss them off and get on the coach.Unfortunately everyone else had to endure constant moaning The gig then turns out to be a total bust for everyone concerned, its some small upstairs bar at a club, the backstage room is a disused kitchen, at the end of the night the final blow's delivered when the singer and bassists from acacia's dad (60 years old) is beaten up by the bouncer outside the club, police and lots of trash talking follows, no-one gets home till 4am.Granted, the end of the night was bad, but the whole experience was eyeopening, and somewhat very exciting, almost asif a taste of what it would be like on the road if we were in the band full time, and come on, lets face it, stuff is going to happen if you are on the road full time, and u gotta roll with the punches, not spend 16 hours complaining to the rest of the band.

That pretty much split the band in two then, the drummer (permanantly hyped up, every gigs the best we've ever played) and mmh (desigined acacia's website, knows them well and bums them to a certain extentExcuse me?) against me (thought it was a waste of time, especially after we'd said a few weeks earlier we we're gonna stop doing long distance gigsThis was booked previously, and if we had pulled we would have been leaving the band who helped us out with getting many gigs before in the s***). Everything settles down then until a couple of days afterwards when we go play a small local bar we've played easily a dozen times before, turns out theres seven bands booked but as we're second from top on the bill we still get a 30 minute set, this means chopping a couple of songs so me and the lead guitarist go into the other room and write out set lists,Notice, that they never involved the drummer or singer/guitarist? we drop one of the newer (and to my mind unfinished) songs and sweet child of mine from the set, give the setlist to mmh who starts calling it bs and saying we should be dropping the 2 songs written before we changed lead guitaristsThe older song, granted is the only recorded song we could use at this point because the other guitarist ripped us off something rotten, but it was not a song which depicted where the band was at this time, it showed where the band was a year ago, we had progressed and the newer songs were more fun to play, coz lets face it this song we had been playing every gig for a year and it was stale, especially as we had had a lineup change from the guitarist who wrote it with myself, and the song just isnt what we are about any more, the direction of the band changed alot with the new guitarist and 3 members of the band out of the 4 saw this except for knox., I disagree because while theres a decent sized crowd we should be playing our tightest material, huge argument ensues ending in him saying "well its 3 against 1 so you can go **** yourself" he then proceeds to be an ass about it all nightAs i recall, i was being fine about it, it was u that was being the ass, looking miserable and being very unhelpful even when it came to the other bands, leaving the band looking like asses to the rest of the people in there.. An argument then follows on msn where alot was said that probably shouldn't have been by both parties and the next day I email him asking if he wants to go down the pub and sort it out face to face so theres no misunderstandings, after some discussion both he and the drummer wanna wait until after we play our next gig to discuss it, Now the next gig we had booked was one I'd sorted, my mate was having his birthday party down at the rock cafe (biggish venue holds 400 people, good p.a, good stage that we all enjoyed playing) and he'd asked me If my band fancied headlining. We play the gig and its awesome, so awesome infact I get offered a job playing bass with a band on their next tour outside the venue which I turn down outta loyalty to monolith more than anything.

We then agree to get together and discuss the arguments the monday night after the gig, I walk in and get taken apart by all three of them both musically and personally, I could tell they'd been mulling it over for a while, they booted me out on the basis that I couldn't(didnt/dont) enjoy the music we we're playing because it wasn't as heavy as what I listen toA fair point i might add, if you dont enjoy the music you are playing it shows through in the performance., that I didn't fill the sound out enough with "little runs" (in a 3 piece I'd have agreed but not in a four piece)Whenever asked to play a fill here or there it was always no, i dont need to, if i cant play it p*ssed then im not playing it at all and that I complain too much (yeah I complain, but half of the time it was jokingly - can't believe I got outta bed for this etc and the other half it was with good reason tbh)The complaining was the worst part, previously to the incident at the local bar, the amount of moaning had built up and up, and became somewhat tiresome and intolerable., me shocked more than anything can't really think of much to say in my defense so I leave it, take it like a man and have a beer with the guys.

Problem with being unemployed is I have waaaay too much time to think things over and to talk to other people about it and the way im seeing it now is, they kicked me out for arguing with mmh and supporting the old material that the drummer & mmh have always wanted rid of it because they still have and almost childish vendetta against our old lead guitarist (yeah he was an idiot but I saw no reason for him to have influence over a band he's no longer inExactly, he should warrant no influence over the band, therefore we shouldnt have his song being played at all really, but thats not practical as we didnt have a big enough set to fill it with out it, but in instances where we need to drop songs, it should be priority to drop the songs which the old guitarist wrote) and they used to to play a big gig before kicking me out using some weaker reasons. I've tried speaking with mmh but all I've gotten back is "you were a lazy bassist and the decision has been made", the lead guitarists already confided in me (after a couple of pints admittedly) that he thinks the wrong decision may have been made, that it was nothing to do with my playing, and that while I may have moaned a bit I was always there for the band, and the drummer flat out won't talk to me (as I knew he would tbh).

That leaves me not knowing what the hell to do next, do I try and stay friends with the guys from monolith? I do miss hangin out with them and whatnot but is it worth it? I don't know wether to form a new band, I've got a couple of guitarists interested but If I do form another band I wanna be gigging regularly and im not sure they'll be into that, plus none of them have transport, do I take one of the offers I've had to play bass in other bands (including one from my old lead guitarist)? Do I give up on bands and sell off some gear/become a bedroom player again? these are all questions you need to answer for yourself.

I don't know where my ass is hanging really, thats why I've made this collossal post and hoped some of you will read it (congrats if you have) because I need people to look at it from the outside, I've been rehashing it all in my head for weeks and its gotten me nowhere.

Thats my 2 cents, read it as you will, thats from both sides.

[Norky]

Get back together for a tour of Japan

[bledd]

tbh mate, the band thing is a trivial problem

and regards to the job, surely you can change your image and lifestyle a bit to accomodate a new source of income, being able to afford to live is more important than image..

[Knoxville]

We were playing the gig after being asked if we wanted to play, it wasnt a favor, it was them giving us a favor by giving us a gig.

tbh dude it was mutual but they got more out of it than we did imo at least.

So the other band misjudged the cost of the coach? big deal? if we had done the same, we woulda been asking them for the extra money also, £5 isnt going to break the bank

No its not, £5 isn't a huge amount of cash, however I still think asking the band thats supporting you to pay extra because you can't get enough fans together especially with the fanbase they've got, is kinda scummy and I wouldn't wanna do it.

Granted, the end of the night was bad, but the whole experience was eyeopening, and somewhat very exciting, almost asif a taste of what it would be like on the road if we were in the band full time, and come on, lets face it, stuff is going to happen if you are on the road full time, and u gotta roll with the punches, not spend 16 hours complaining to the rest of the band.

Dude, how you find sitting on a coach for 8 hours exciting I have no idea, to an extent yes it did give us some idea of what it'd be like on tour, but if we were on tour there'd be a good crowd and a good gig awaiting us, as for moaning for 16 hours thats exaggerated, I complained about having to stand in the cold for over an hour because the coach was late yeah, and yeah I complained about having to get up earlier, I worked nights, get over it.

This was booked previously, and if we had pulled we would have been leaving the band who helped us out with getting many gigs before in the s***

Fair enough, I couldn't remember when it'd been booked, in that case your right, but acacia still had no problem dropping us in it at the varsity (was it the varsity? can't remember much about that one tbh)

Notice, that they never involved the drummer or singer/guitarist?

It wasn't some secret conspiracy, god knows its one out of about 3 times I've actually written a set list, you guys have been writing them with no input from me for months, did I ever kick up a fuss like you did?

The older song, granted is the only recorded song we could use at this point because the other guitarist ripped us off something rotten, but it was not a song which depicted where the band was at this time, it showed where the band was a year ago, we had progressed and the newer songs were more fun to play, coz lets face it this song we had been playing every gig for a year and it was stale, especially as we had had a lineup change from the guitarist who wrote it with myself, and the song just isnt what we are about any more, the direction of the band changed alot with the new guitarist and 3 members of the band out of the 4 saw this except for knox

In my opinion the direction of the band had not changed hugely, we didn;t go from classic rock to thrash, you and Joel always said one of the better things about monolith was the diversity in our set, it seems slightly hypocritical to me.

As i recall, i was being fine about it, it was u that was being the ass, looking miserable and being very unhelpful even when it came to the other bands, leaving the band looking like asses to the rest of the people in there.

No you weren't fine about it, you proceeded to say all of three words to me all night after that, and they were "get over here and move your ******* amp" which you could have moved yourself, it only needed twisting slightly to get your cab behind it and you'd never had a problem moving it before. I was never un-proffesional about it, imo it made the band look worse when you forgot lyrics to 2 of the songs and the intro to the only song you start.

fair point i might add, if you dont enjoy the music you are playing it shows through in the performance.,Whenever asked to play a fill here or there it was always no, i dont need to, if i cant play it p*ssed then im not playing it at all The complaining was the worst part, previously to the incident at the local bar, the amount of moaning had built up and up, and became somewhat tiresome

Who are you to judge what I enjoy? I'll be the judge of what I enjoy and no-one else, twice you asked me to play a fill, and the part you came up with fitted in no way shape or form, we've been over that, as for "if i cant play it p*ssed then im not playing it at all" I made that comment as a joke months ago, iirc rob was still in the band, to bring that into any argument is to quote me out of context, something your quite adept at doing.

Exactly, he should warrant no influence over the band, therefore we shouldnt have his song being played at all really, but thats not practical as we didnt have a big enough set to fill it with out it, but in instances where we need to drop songs, it should be priority to drop the songs which the old guitarist wrote

Thats a matter of opinion and one that I would share if the song you put in its place was actually finished.

these are all questions you need to answer for yourself.

These are questions that i've been trying to answer myself for weeks and cannot, so I sought advice from other people, I know there are some helpful people here on hexus many of them musicians with more esperience than myself, so I asked for help.

See dude the problem is you won't listen, I don't expect to come back to monolith, I don't expect you to drop down on your knee's and beg forgiveness, but whenever I've talked to you about this all i've had back is "the decision has been made and its final, I am the great stevieg and thout shalt listen" ok so the last part you've never said but its the impression I'm given. Thats it now, I don't want a repeat here of what happened on gtu here, it made neither of us look clever and served to do nothing but waste time, if you actually wanna talk about this properly then I'm willing to, but I will not sit idly by and have exaggerations and mis-quotations spread about me, I want nothing more from you in this thread, I'm asking people for help and your dragging it way off topic, if you have anything to say to me now you have my phone number and msn.

[Knoxville]

Form another band if you want, But why not sit at home and work on your bass playing. Become technically good! practice playing to clicks learn all the scales you can, learn different techniques.
Think of the stuff you could do if you did all this? Session musician for example, its a job and you get to play music, i know a couple of guys who got £3k for 3 days studio work filling in for some singer.

Ive been dropped from a very serious band before (which ironically i am in again) and its not great for your confidence as a musician because its such a blow. Just keep working on your bass playing.

Obviously your singer has some maturity issues as singers do, they tend to think they own the band and can get very big headed and full of them selfs.
I would of gone and found that band that wanted you to play bass for them and taken it, theres nothing wrong with being in a couple of bands, the way i see it is if i am in a couple of bands it just means i learn more and get better.

Good luck with it all mate, hope you get a job sorted out soon

Ben

I have been working on my technical ability (learning more scales and whatnot) been playing along to alot of cd's and learning new techniques that way aswell, I know what you mean about confidence though, its really knocked me about, the only problem I have with playing now is that I pick up the bass and play along to a cd or whatever and after a few tracks I loose the urge to play as there seems to be no point.

Got a number? give em a call.. could be the best thing you ever do matey... unless of course they've already gone

Wish I could mate but the offer dissappeared into the back of a black cab after i said no, shoulda taken his number in hindsight, but then I didn't think I was gonna get kicked out within 24 hours of playing the best gig we ever have.

Knox, im gutted for you mate. It sounds as though you have had a rough few weeks here with the job and the band.

Is there no chance at all of getting your job at the home back, now that the inspection is over?

As for the band, thats harsh . A bit of ****ty thing to do, stabbing you in the back tbh, but it seems to be a case of whats done is done. Could you really go back now? would you work aswel as a band? things probably wouldnt be the same. Do you really want to go back?

If you can remain friends with the guys then that would be cool but seeying as the drummer isnt talking to you and they wanted you out of the band that might be hard . Obviously, they would be talking about the band all the time which would be a bit of a kick in the teeth. Would be great if you could all sort it out and put it behind you though.

Give up on bands? Only you know if you just need a break after all the trouble or if you really want to quit for good. Forming a new band could be good but you would need to be sure the other guys want to go the same way with it as you and be as commited. Taking one of the offers sounds like a good compromise but if its the one from the old lead guitarist then surely that will strain relations with Monolith even further?

Nah they can't take me back, too risky for em, tbh they paid more of my holiday pay than they were obliged to so even though It was gutting at least there was that

I don't think I'll take him up on the offer tbh if only because he's an ass, I may go for a jam with him though if only to try and steal his drummer (drummers be rare round here)

stick with the playing Knox old bud, it's still early days, & it can only make you stronger as a person & as a performer. Just advertise & get another band together, some fresh meat

As for a job, what about getting into nursing? be a psychiatric nurse perhaps... Could ask the mrs to get you some info if need be.

Just keep on rockin dude!

Fresh meat sounds good, not re-stocked the freezer in a while

As for the job, you can have mine, i'm sure you'd be a hit with 26 pre-school children

Kids do love me, I have yet to work out why though.....

Employment: Lose the piercings. They are tacky and holding you back.

Music: You love it. Don't bother with those assholes. Yes, you had good times and it's hard to let go, but they are obviously a lot closer with each other than with you and you will always be the odd man out. Try to grab one of the other offers or form a new band.

I refuse to loose the piercings simply to find work, they're part of me tbh something my parents nor many other people can understand. I always thought I was quite close to them to be honest, although in hindsight that did start to change in the last month or so of me being in the band.

Get back together for a tour of Japan

I am not spinal tap

[noah]

well, that was quite a read mate. sorry to hear about all that has gone on, it's never gonna be a nice situation to be in.

as far as a job, maybe the answer isnt to lose all the piercings, but compromise on them. get a rid of a few of the less socially acceptable ones for working hours only? you dont have to lose them all.