Acceptable ages for sexual relationships?

[Michael]

Not too sure on how this thread will be recieved, but it's a legitimate question and i'm not really looking for responses on the politics of the age of consent.

For anyone over 20, i'd have thought that nobody would really say anything about any age difference, however when you're 16 and 17... although legal there are still girls a year or two younger that are "your age group" and plenty mature enough to be having sex.

What is the oldest guy that somebody of 15 could go with before it becomes plain wrong?

(I'm 17, before people start checking to see how late in my fourties i am...)

[Knoxville]

All of the women I've been out with bar one has been a year or two younger than me (I'm twenty for the record) and I've found them all to be immature or emotionally clingy and very much in need of validation. While they may be amture enough to agree to consentual sex in my mind at least none of them have been mature enough enough to take part in an adult relationship.

In answer to your question "What is the oldest guy that somebody of 15 could go with before it becomes plain wrong?" it depends what you mean by go with but morally for me if the guy they're seeing is anything much over 17 its plain wrong. I've ended up going with a 15 year old at a local club once before, it was a couple of years back now I was a bit drunk and didn't think much of how young she looked as you had to be 18 to get into the place. Her friend gave the game away about an hour after I hooked up with her though by running over to her shouting "its after twelve happy birthday" when I asked how old she was it turned out she was just turning 16, there was literally only a few hours in it but it still felt a bit wrong tbh.

[unreal]

Well I was 15 when I broke the chain but I was in a long term relationship with the girl, she was so sweet, and its something we both agreed upon, rather than the pervy guy consistently bothering until he gets his way. I had to break up with her a year later though due to her house significantly effecting my health. (Her parents were pet freaks, and her mum had a cat home thing where she looked after about 20 cats - I'm severely allergic to animals, so even when I gave her a quick hug in school, or she came to my house, I flared up. Imagine when she sits around my room, on my bed etc, and then at night when shes gone home I sit there with an allergic reaction while trying to sleep)

I think this will always be a question that will raise a lot of debate, and possibly never get a 100% agreed answer for. Depends largely on the maturity of the people (phycologically, rather than phyiscally) and the intentions to take the relationship further.

[0iD]

I have teenage daughters so I'm biased

25 is a good age I think

[MSIC]

I think that alot of the problem is that quite often people who believe themselves to be "mature" (as though it is a final state of being, as opposed to a progression throughout life) are often not as capable of dealing with difficulties as they think.
I remember vividly at 11 believing myself to be very mature because I was at senior school, but later that year when I got into a fight I cried my eyes out.

Clearly people who go through puberty can become physically ready to have sex (ie ready to have babies), but does that mean that a girl of 15 can deal with what happens if she becomes pregnant? And then if she has to drop out of school and give up plans of university? Or what about the boy who is believes this is true love, only to be dumped because he was crap in bed?
It's not that people can't deal with it at all, but the more emotionally mature you are the better you can deal with it. I guess that's why its a good thing to have boyfriends / girlfriends way before you sleep with someone so that you understand a bit more about the nature and fragility of relationships.

I think in summary there is no definite answer to when a given individual is ready, because we all need life experience to cope with problems (and sex is more riddled with them than most situations) but equally you gain experience through living life.
Just remember the law. You're not going to feel too happy even if a social worker makes enquiries about underage sex / rape (and rape can be defined far broader than you may imagine).

[Theo]

Mostly agree with MSIC there, well done that man! To further prove the man's theory, I present exhibit A: The teen who cries on the internet when the "love of their life" dumps them for someone better looking. While seemingly the evidence proves nothing, and is completely irrelevant in regard to the topic of the thread, emotional maturity and the mental side of sexual maturity are one and the same, in my opinion.

Call me harsh, but people who cannot stand the heat should take their sausage out of the kitchen. (And vice versa)

[j.o.s.h.1408]

Well I was 15 when I broke the chain but I was in a long term relationship with the girl, she was so sweet, and its something we both agreed upon, rather than the pervy guy consistently bothering until he gets his way. I had to break up with her a year later though due to her house significantly effecting my health. (Her parents were pet freaks, and her mum had a cat home thing where she looked after about 20 cats - I'm severely allergic to animals, so even when I gave her a quick hug in school, or she came to my house, I flared up. Imagine when she sits around my room, on my bed etc, and then at night when shes gone home I sit there with an allergic reaction while trying to sleep)

I think this will always be a question that will raise a lot of debate, and possibly never get a 100% agreed answer for. Depends largely on the maturity of the people (phycologically, rather than phyiscally) and the intentions to take the relationship further.

Gwan Keith loosing it at 15 hehe. Hey man you never told me that was the reason you broke up with her

[Kebab]

A friend of mine knows someone who was in his twenties and was going out with a girl who was 16. They wanted to have sex but by law he needed written consent fromthe parents fo the girl. And he got it! THere must have a been a few ackward moment before and after that!

I dont know what he did with the consent letter now, but if it was me I would frame it and hang it somewhere!

[sawyen]

A friend of mine knows someone who was in his twenties and was going out with a girl who was 16. They wanted to have sex but by law he needed written consent fromthe parents fo the girl. And he got it! THere must have a been a few ackward moment before and after that!

I dont know what he did with the consent letter now, but if it was me I would frame it and hang it somewhere!

dun mind me, but thats just plain silly... If I had a daughter, no man will ever EVER get my written consent to have sex with her. If he puts his paws on my daughter, I have my trusty Rover to run him over before sending him to court..

[jackvdbuk]

lmao nice one sawyen, in this one i have to tottally agree with sawyen.... having a baby whether by purpose or accident will totally knock off 18 years off your life away, no college, no high end job... cleaning nappies and feeding is what ull be doing

[shelley bda]

I'd be more worried about disease than pregnancy

Having a baby young isn't so bad, had my first born when i was 19 didn't stop me going to college, i have a very good career now, my son is 12 years old, i'm not even going to be 40 by the time he's grown up

[unreal]

Gwan Keith loosing it at 15 hehe. Hey man you never told me that was the reason you broke up with her

Well yeah as well as other minor things, but she always beat herself up about the 'damage' she caused to me so I wasn't going to say it was because of that, she would have been devestated.

[pp05]

Kids are to eager to grow up these days. In my day it was football and games consoles til at 16, enjoying a laugh with your mates was more important. Nowadays it's relationships at 14?!? they seem to think they know it when really they dont know jack squat.

Although ultimately it's one experiences that shape their maturity, outlook etc 18 onwards is a good time to start thinking in them terms serious of relationships.

[herulach]

Several girls i know/knew from/at school where involved with guys 4 or 5 years older (this is when we were about 15), and tbh, i didnt really think twice about it then, but now, theyd kind of be a candidate for getting plenty of abuse. That said, the only one im still in touch with is still with the same guy and theyre due to get married in september, so it cant be all that bad.

[BrandX]

I have my trusty Rover to run him over before sending him to court..

Hey may escape your clutches while you get your jump leads out.

[Oakey]

I think what he really wants to know is if it's wrong for a 22year old guy to have sex with a 15 year old schoolgirl.