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Thread: Source Code to Windows Vista

  1. #1
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    Talking Source Code to Windows Vista

    For those of you considering rushing out to buy Microsoft's latest copy of MacOS X, you might want to conduct a code review of Vista first.

    Fortunately for you, I have a copy:

    /* Source Code to Windows Vista */
    #include "win31.h"
    #include "win95.h"
    #include "win98.h"
    #include "win2000.h"
    #include "winnt.h"
    #include "workst~1.h"
    #include "evenmore.h"
    #include "oldstuff.h"
    #include "billrulz.h"
    #include "monopoly.h"
    #define INSTALL = HARD

    char make_prog_look_big[1600000];

    void main()
    {
    while(!CRASHED)
    {
    display_copyright_message();
    display_bill_rules_message();
    do_nothing_loop();
    if (first_time_installation)
    {
    make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
    do_nothing_loop();
    totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
    search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS2();
    make_futile_attempt_to_damage_Linux();
    disable_Firefox();
    disable_iTunes();
    disable_RealPlayer();
    disable_Lotus_Products();
    hang_system();
    }
    write_something(anything);
    display_copyright_message();
    do_nothing_loop();
    do_some_stuff();
    if (still_not_crashed)
    {
    display_copyright_message();
    do_nothing_loop();
    basically_run_windows_3.1();
    do_nothing_loop();
    do_nothing_loop();
    }
    }
    if (detect_cache())
    {
    disable_cache();
    }
    if (fast_cpu())
    {
    set_wait_states(lots);
    set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
    set_mouse(action, jumpy);
    set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
    }
    /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.1"); */
    /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
    /* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
    /* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 3.0"); */
    /* printf("Welcome to Windows 98"); */
    /* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 4.0"); */
    /* printf("Welcome to Windows 2000"); */
    /* printf("Welcome to Windows XP"); */
    printf("Welcome to Windows Vista");
    if (system_ok())
    {
    crash(to_dos_prompt)
    }
    else
    {
    system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);
    }
    while(something)
    {
    sleep(5);
    get_user_input();
    sleep(5);
    act_on_user_input();
    sleep(5);
    }
    create_general_protection_fault("blue");
    }

    _______________________________________________
    People know how to read a book with words but not a book without words. People know how to play a stringed instrument, but not one without strings.
    If you only know how to recognize something practical and nothing spiritual, how can you appreciate the wonders of music and books.

    형성

  2. #2
    Admin (Ret'd)
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    I actually read all that. Must be my inner nerd coming out.


    PS. I'm still grinning .... or is it smirking. Or both. Either way, it's making my face hurt.

  3. #3
    Fried Chip Extremist alsenior's Avatar
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    i have seen a variation of this for windows xp. still funny though.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay View Post
    What kind of emergency would need Windows 95? I think you are already in a bad state of emergency when your backup plan is Windows 95.
    Beginners guide to raid Beginners guide to raid post edition Hexus.Social - FAQ

  4. #4
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    hehe, nice

  5. #5
    . bledd's Avatar
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    lame

  6. #6
    Agent of the System ikonia's Avatar
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    agreed
    It is Inevitable.....


  7. #7
    HEXUS webmaster Steve's Avatar
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    The #define is invalid syntax and the printf doesn't have a \n at the end of it, which is bad for formatting.
    PHP Code:
    $s = new signature();
    $s->sarcasm()->intellect()->font('Courier New')->display(); 

  8. #8
    UKMuFFiN
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    Quote Originally Posted by HyeongSeong View Post
    For those of you considering rushing out to buy Microsoft's latest copy of MacOS X, you might want to conduct a code review of Vista first.
    Microsofts OS X?

  9. #9
    Agent of the System ikonia's Avatar
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    thats supposed to be part of the gag.
    It is Inevitable.....


  10. #10
    Anthropomorphic Personification shaithis's Avatar
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    Reminds me of the old:

    Windows 95 is a 32-bit extension to a 16-bit patch for an 8-bit operating system that was originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1-bit of competition
    Main PC: Asus Rampage IV Extreme / 3960X@4.5GHz / Antec H1200 Pro / 32GB DDR3-1866 Quad Channel / Sapphire Fury X / Areca 1680 / 850W EVGA SuperNOVA Gold 2 / Corsair 600T / 2x Dell 3007 / 4 x 250GB SSD + 2 x 80GB SSD / 4 x 1TB HDD (RAID 10) / Windows 10 Pro, Yosemite & Ubuntu
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  11. #11
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    and the latest..

    Windows CEMeNT
    (\__/)
    (='.'=)
    (")_(")

  12. #12
    UKMuFFiN
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    Quote Originally Posted by ikonia View Post
    thats supposed to be part of the gag.
    I dont get that bit

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