Lol! Sorry, I wrote that after a couple of glasses of red wine!
Long and short of it, the upstream is currently very limited in comparison to the downstream, not only in the physical bandwidth available. But also in the way data is transmitted back to Virgin.
Giving customers a 1mb upstream is possible now, but factor in another 300 - 400 customers in the same area with 1mb uploads and we are back to dial up speeds at best.
Trig, my 10mb is fine at home. You may have a fault in your area/installation, if you ring them up, log a fault and ask for a DOCSIS ping to be done (basically pings the internal MAC of the modem excluding your kit from the test) this should show up any problems.