Post Natal Depression

[angeleyes]

I know this is a difficult topic to talk about, but i just wondered if anybody knows of people that have suffered from it (both male and female as i know it can affect both).

Every woman tends to get the baby blues when we get that surge of hormones 3-4 days after the birth. But this is for the blues that go beyond that.

I've been fine up until recently and now it's fast approaching our little one's first birthday i think i am begining to suffer. We have also had a change of childcare recently, a problematic tooth coming through, i'm studying for an exam in May and we are about to move house. All of which is pretty stressful.

If you've been through it what have the coping strategies been?

[0iD]

Mrs 0iD suffered terribly with it after the birth of our first.

As for coping, well I sent her away for a couple of days of R&R and that seemed the kick-start she needed. I think it was just that it was all too much, she was fine with our second because she was prepared.

[Lee H]

I've been fine up until recently and now it's fast approaching our little one's first birthday i think i am begining to suffer. We have also had a change of childcare recently, a problematic tooth coming through, i'm studying for an exam in May and we are about to move house. All of which is pretty stressful

I feel your pain as we're in similar at home at the moment.

We moved from a 2 bed flat to a 3 bed house which needed gutting all the way through 3 days before christmas.

My mum watched Hayden on Thursday/Friday but can't from this weekend due to shift changes.

Hayden has 4 teeth coming through and they are that coming through slowly causing her hassle.

Hang on.... Sharon is that you?

Joking aside, we've found that getting out of the house for a while helps. I had a bit of a blue0day yesterday and was a sulking stomping monster, but that was due to the fact I can't really move my arm much due to a AC joint seperation and have issues picking Hayden up at times and was in moderate pain as I had ran out of heavy duty painkillers.

We've found that the surestart services help as well. If you have access to these, I would heartly recommend going down in a heatbeat. After going a few times and speaking to others you realise that 'your not the only one' in a similar situation and a chat with others can be a huge weight off the shoulders.

[angeleyes]

I would love to attend a surestart centre, but i work full time and have done since Louise was 3 months old. They have nothing on at the weekend's for Mum's, only for Dad's. I think that maybe another part of my problem. I can't seem to find a network of working Mum's anywhere. There are plenty of things for stay at home Mum's but nothing for ones that are working. It's like it's not expected that you should leave your child so early, and if you do you should just deal with it!!!

R&R would be good, but we don't really have anyone that can have Louise for us anymore than they already do. The time i do get away from her is usually spent working as an Ann Summers rep. My parents have her on a Friday afternoon for us to lower our childcare costs as they have both my nephews on a Friday as well and they have Louise for us one night a month over night (which usually coincides with someone's birthday or some other occasion) so i feel that they are already having her too much and don't want to ask them to have her anymore than they already do.

[Zak33]

I think, Mrs, it's a social exclusion thing for many lasses.
ie work all week, child in nursery.... home at weekends, but no social life except the little 'un and family.

Can you possibly have an afternoon off, once per week? What yuo could do then is organise that afternoon off to coincide with a Parent and toddle group.

Aylersbury has one on a Thursday near us, and while it's a couple of quid for a coupel of hours, you're there WITH your little lass, and so are all the parents.

I've been teice with ZakJr and my mum and dad took him once when they visited. And it's a great place to talk with other parents. I'm not shy.. you'd have to decide how you were with a room full of strangers and whether you'd be prepared to talk to just anyone. I'm ok with it.

In Milton Keyes there are BOUND to be groups.... now you might have to ignore the Sky Pixie theme... but lets face it... we all grew up with some religion in our lives and escaped safely
http://www.netmums.com/listings/PND/...5034/90145773/
http://www.loughtonbaptistchurch.org/toddlers.aspx

When Zak Jr was 3 months Sair wandered down to a Parent and Toddler group.. even though Jr was too small... and met another lass with a little girl same age... so they were both in the wrong place but looking for a group...

swap of mobile numbers, coffee/tea round her house later that week.... then a few lunch's... and then the good bit... they invited us for dinner, I mey her hubby Phil, we got on really well, nearly 3 years later and we've all been on holiday together and are really good buddies

I'm eternally pleased about that chance meeting Sair made. Phil is a proper nice bloke, and cooks well too

[jim]

My mum told me that she suffered with it really badly after her third (and as planned, final) child.

The only thing she said to me was that she made some decisions during that time that changed the rest of her life, and massively regretted them... still regrets them now. Consequently, her sole advice was not to make any rash decisions. She said it was so easy to slip into, and if she'd slowed everything down, spoken to her doctor and family, and thought everything through carefully, she probably wouldn't have ever made those decisions in the first place.

I don't want to put a downer on the thread at all, there's been some great advice so far, but I've never forgotten what she said and felt the need to pass it on.

[Zak33]

My mum told me that she suffered with it really badly after her third (and as planned, final) child.

The only thing she said to me was that she made some decisions during that time that changed the rest of her life, and massively regretted them... still regrets them now. Consequently, her sole advice was not to make any rash decisions. She said it was so easy to slip into, and if she'd slowed everything down, spoken to her doctor and family, and thought everything through carefully, she probably wouldn't have ever made those decisions in the first place.

I don't want to put a downer on the thread at all, there's been some great advice so far, but I've never forgotten what she said and felt the need to pass it on.

top advice too... top top drawer advice

[angeleyes]

Can you possibly have an afternoon off, once per week? What yuo could do then is organise that afternoon off to coincide with a Parent and toddle group.

I could possibly take off two afternoons a month. I work in accounts so for two weeks in the month i am flat out for the other two there is a possibilty of getting a small amount of time off.

I have no issue with a church run Parent and toddlers group. I went to one when i was little and i met a girl there that i still stay in touch with to this day.

[0iD]

Having spoken at length with this with the mrs, she said she had the same. It didn't kick in until she went back to work, problems with juggling hours, childminders & being separated from the child she'd bonded with so strongly, separation anxiety etc.

If you want her email for a chat, just ask

[pipTheGeek]

I suffered pretty badly when my first was born. It actually started while my wife was pregnant and got worse after he was born. It was made worse because no one knew what was wrong with me. Doctor did some blood tests but never came to any conclusion. It was eventually our health visitor that suggested depression. By this time coping strategies were not going to cut it. 8 months of Prozac and I was okay, but I feel it has permentantly damaged my relationship with my eldest. So my advice is to know when you are not coping and to seek medical assistance, even if you don't want to be taking anti-depressants there may still be something they can do.

[Anastie]

Hello all
Please remember there is a difference between post natal depression and depression. What I am trying to summarize here is that some people get depressed at the major life adjustment that a new child can bring about, especially the first one. Others get post natal depression due to many biological changes that are occurring in the body.

As many as 10% of mothers suffer post natal depression. The most common time for this to occur is the first 4- 6 weeks after birth. There are many reasons why the woman may get post natal depression. Some of these can include previous mental health problems, a family history, a difficult birth or an unwell baby.

Men do not get post natal depression! What some of you are describing is the life adjustment or depression relating to the new circumstances in your life.

Post natal means after giving birth

I hope this brief note clarifies some of the points.

However, if you are depressed or feeling depressed go and discuss it with your GP. The advice about having some me time is good but for some it will not be enough. At times medication or talking therapy is required.

Good luck.

[pipTheGeek]

Men do not get post natal depression! What some of you are describing is the life adjustment or depression relating to the new circumstances in your life.

Post natal means after giving birth

I personally don't think this is a useful distinction. I'm aware that mums have hormone changes that cause the "baby blues" and can trigger clinical depression. but restricting the definition to only depression caused by hormone changes would make diagnosis in mums nearly impossible. As you said, "Some of these can include previous mental health problems, a family history, a difficult birth or an unwell baby.". If you are going to extend the definition to include depression caused/triggered by the stress and life changes that go with having a baby, then why can't men be included?

Having said all that, I have never labeled my depression as "post natel". It started before Adam was born, although it was diagnosed by our health visitor as post natel depression.

However, if you are depressed or feeling depressed go and discuss it with your GP. The advice about having some me time is good but for some it will not be enough. At times medication or talking therapy is required.

Yes, its a tough call about if you are coping or if its time for a GP though and your partner may well have a better idea of if you are coping or not. So make sure you keep talking to them.