Sex before marriage

[Jimmy Little]

Originally posted by spikegifted
To bring it down to the most basic level, sex is a method of spreading one's genes - no more, no less. For us, humans, we try to attach as much value to this act for religious reasons. If you look at other cultures, especially the tribal cultures in the past and present, sex is just sex. Where does love some in? Well, good sex tend to happen between two willing parties and if the two are actually in love, that fine. But that is not a pre-requesit.

i can't get on with that view, as sex in the past has left me very hurt and very empty in the past... and i will now only commit to sex with someone who i'm secure and in love with... .... ie marriage

[CocoPops]

I've read this thread, and through the thread I keep thinking

"well done guys"

Seriously you've discussed the topic, without lowering the tone, without making derogitory remarks to each other.

Exactly what the Question Time forum is about.

Good work peeps.

[Jimmy Little]

just what i thought! i have been on both side of the fence in my short 24 year life and i can see both views...

nice when things are talked about in a peaceful manner!

[joshwa]

i think sex within marriage is originally set in place by God / The Bible - and my understanding is that this is the way God intended life to be lived. So that when children are born, either deliberately (planned) or unplanned, they are brought up in a loving family with a mum and a dad. and with marriage, the intention is "till death us do part" so that all the eway throughout the childs life, they have the security of their parents. (unless of course they get divorced, but this is also not something God would want - see NT.)

perhaps this world would be much better /different if everybody was brought up in this way?

[Jimmy Little]

Originally posted by www.josh.org.uk
i think sex within marriage is originally set in place by God / The Bible - and my understanding is that this is the way God intended life to be lived. So that when children are born, either deliberately (planned) or unplanned, they are brought up in a loving family with a mum and a dad. and with marriage, the intention is "till death us do part" so that all the eway throughout the childs life, they have the security of their parents. (unless of course they get divorced, but this is also not something God would want - see NT.)

perhaps this world would be much better if everybody was brought up in this way.

yes great points there josh.... i agree full stop

[kaillum]

i've read this thread, and all of the above posts make sense, and show peoples opinions on a very personal subject...

Personally I disagree with the whole waiting for marriage part... as I somewhat disagree with the current debacle called 'marriage' (although thats a totally different thread altogether!!!)
I see sex and making love as 2 different things.. I've been involved in long term relationships (4 + years) and had countless one night stands...

Sex in my mind is as spikegifted said, a method of spreading ones genes, its an animal instict to re-produce, and I find tends to happen on the lonely Saturday night in the local meat market... its a way of sometimes showing yourself that your not the ugly mo'fo you think you are, its really a way of bolstering your ego when maybe its taken a bit of a bashing...

nearly all of my one night stands have been when i've recently been dumped by an ex, and i'm feelin pretty sh!tty... its just my way of getting myself back on my feet... the sex is just that.. sex, nothing more or less than the animal instinct showing through....

of all the partners i've had, the only really enjoyable sex is when your with a long term partner.. you both know each other more than physically, and your somehow connected on a pshycological level.. you know each others boundaries and you respect them... I dont need a piece of paper to tell me that I love someone, and want to spend the rest of my life with them... and therefore I feel I dont need a piece of paper to tell me that its ok to make love to my partner...

[spikegifted]

Originally posted by Bobby Sixkiller
i can't get on with that view, as sex in the past has left me very hurt and very empty in the past... and i will now only commit to sex with someone who i'm secure and in love with... .... ie marriage

That's fine by me, also... To be completely honest, you need to be comfortable with whatever believe you hold about this. Some people are rather caverlier about sleeping around and that's their decision. And others, like your good self, believe in keep oneself clean before committing to your partner for the rest of your lives - that's fine too. (As a matter of fact, that's really noble.) What I was trying to say is that we sometime attach too much value on something that is basic and natural. Some people go to extremes to 'convince' others that what he or she does in his/her own time is immoral or improper or whatever - what's the really sad is that these very people often lead lives that are even less moral than those they condemn.

[THCi]

I know that some, such as Justin, a good friend of mine, will say that its wrong on religious grounds.

Others still, will say no, as they see it (as I do) that casual sex leads to underage teenage pregnancy.

But, sex isnt a thing to be taken casually, as its more than emotial connection between two people. It should only be considered between two people that love each other deeply, and would rather be together for the rest of thier natural lives.

But, what %'tage of OUR generation takes the first view, or the second view? Not many.

Most see it as an escape, short lived experience that can leave you on a high for the rest of the day (next day, or night), until it wears off and you want it(or feel you need it) again.

Quite a vicious circle starts to develop!

[Knoxville]

erm, your being a bit hypocritical there aren't you?

you couldn't wait to get your end away when I was still mates with you in college. Has she really changed you that much or do you feel the nned to conform with the rest of the ideas here of people that like you have g/f's or whatever?

In my opinion sex can be causal, it depends on the people and the situation. If you both want casual sex and nothing more then i see nothing wrong with it.

However if you feel you love someone then rushing into it for any reason is imo wrong and it should be more special.

I would in my current state of mind prefer love from a women over sex. I was the same as most lads who just wanted to get they're end away as soon as possible. but i feel the need for something more meaningful than the "5 minutes of squishy noises".

Yes i would still not turn down sex out of marriage if the oppurtunity arose now, I'm not going to lie and pretend i wouldn't, i'd love to have those 5 minutes right now.

But i also know what would be better for me in the long run.

[Punky]

i had casual sex the other night.....

.....i was wearing a tracksuit

[rc55]

My personal opinion on it all is basically - do whatever you like as long as you're happy and there are no victims. I think sex before marriage, one night stands, more than two people, gay sex, whatever - doesn't offend me at all.

I've had friends who have been involved with all of the above and I can't say its done them any harm. It's very much down to the emotional state of the persons in question. That doesn't mean that it applies to everyone, its each to their own. I don't think moral decay will occur if people are psychologically aware of what they are getting involved in.

That said, I've only been with three people, two were long term relationships. I'm happy enough!

[Nemeliza]

I understand what is meant by only having sex with someone that you love but i disagree that it is not possible for two individuals to spend the rest of their lives together without being married. I know this was not directly said but the term sex after marriage implies this, or so i believe.

Originally posted by THCi
sex isnt a thing to be taken casually, as its more than emotial connection between two people.

I beg to differ. It is whatever the consenting individuals see it to be.

[Wiffle_BMXer]

me and knox were talkin bout his today and i think...............

if u were to wait untill after u were marriedd to have sex thne.. ( although it sounds bodgey let me explain) what happens if they are really crap in bed

i think that a good relationship is bassed on having a good everything in that relationship..
good friendhip
good understanding
and yes good sex
its all part of a healthy relationship

any guy that says " i dont want sex untill im married" is either
. religios which is all fair and square no problems with it or
. a guy who cant get any so he uses it as an excuse

i know people that have said " i want to loos my virgninty to my husband / wife " and that went straight out the window because they wanted to try new things and their current partners made them feel more comfertable with it...
sex is fine and dandy absolutly nothing wrong with sex before marriage
/ ends rant

[gilgamesj]

Sex before marriage should just be accepted as an inevitability,
the whole concept of no sex before marriage is a religious concept, one created by catholics i believe x-) and now, just like many of their other beliefs... have become irrelevant.

Im sure many people if not everyone in here would have sex b4 marriage if the right change presented itself.
Dont lie ! you know its true.

[Knoxville]

I wouldn't say everyone, as some religous beliefs lie very deep.

But if the woman of your dreams landed naked in your lap right now, begging for it would you be able to turn her down?

[acidrainy]

Originally posted by Knoxville
I wouldn't say everyone, as some religous beliefs lie very deep.

But if the woman of your dreams landed naked in your lap right now, begging for it would you be able to turn her down?

beliefs, what are beliefs? i seem to think that hormones would take over in this position!