Fifth Gear

[dangel]

When did I give the impression that I didn't realise this? I thought the phrase 'one man's meat is another man's poison' was a fairly strong clue myself.

Sorry - didn't realise we were playing for points.. Consider me chastened for having the termerity to post my views sir Bad day?

Personally...

Yes, I think we get the message - you really don't like them.

<shrugs> My missus agrees with me that they're a bunch of unfunny sad old gits.

Obviously you're well suited, I wish you both well
Cheers..

[Zad]

It was asked what we (or I) have against VBH. Well, it's not her figure (did you see her last series?) nor the fact that she drives around in expensive hardware (I would be far more likely to despise a male of my own age). No, it's...

a) Despite having gone to several racing driver schools, she really cannot drive any better than an average road driver. A "good" road driver (and any racing driver worth their salt) can predict how their car is going to handle in the next second or so, and balance the vehicle so that it transitions smoothly into what is about to arrive. An average one will merely react to how the car moves rather than anticipating. A big tell-tale is how she tends to come out of corners, obviously the outer side of the car suspension is loaded, a good driver (Tiff, Jason) would bleed off the load so the vehicle stabilises in a smoothly damped roll, Ms. B-H does what most of us would do, straighten the wheel quickly, causing the vehicle to rapidly unload on the outside with roll inertia swinging it to the inside, which can induce fishtailing.

Did anyone else notice that when asked her opinion of the Aston, she just repeated what Tiff said about "you can balance it on the road" ? Oh please....

b) SHE ISN'T POSH but she thinks she is. She uses that fake-posh-girl talk beloved of receptionists and shop girls (and slowly making it's way to the males of the population). It's easy to learn, remove random vowels in a word and replace then with 'ay'. e.g. *Picks ayp telephayne: Hellay, hay may help yay? No becomes Nay, 'hoot' (beloved of VBH) becomes hayt. It's origin is a blend of Essex, Norf Landahn and Australian. Proppa' posh girls pronounce their vowels.

c) She does absolutely nothing to disprove the myth that all women choose their car by badge and colour.

(Can you tell I've had to explain this before? )

There are many good looking, intelligent, able females out there in the UK who can do the job so much better than she can. Penny Mallory may not be exactly 18 any more but she can drive the wheels off VBH, and knows how to evaluate cars properly. Maybe they could employ her and an airhead Wicked Weasel bikini model instead.

Which brings me to.... Drivel, er, Driven. It's final series was *dire* but I thought previous ones were pretty good. Roadtesting 3 similar cars each week, usually unglamorous cars, but the sort of cars real people drive, and telling us things we need to know about them, with real people giving their comments on them too. A bit dull perhaps, but it covered a different market to the glossy magazine format of Top Gear.

By the way, not only are the 5th Gear presenters from the old Top Gear, but many of the production staff are too. Prior to the new Top Gear format it had been off the screens for quite a long time, following a slump in it's ratings.

I don't want to give the impression that I don't want 5th Gear on telly, there are too few car related progs as it is, and any competition to Top Gear will hopefully keep them sharp. Anything is better than another antique, house makeover or moving house prog. There are a couple of excellent car progs on Men & Motors about buying second hand cars which must cost about a tenner to make but make good unpretentious viewing.

Mike.


(who has driven RWD, FWD, 4WD and doesn't claim to be a car show presenter or for that matter be a "good" driver)

Oh yes, and a Merc SLK *is* uncool. I have only seen them being driven by 1980s DJs with blond mullets, and 50-something women who think they look 21.

[Rave]

Sorry - didn't realise we were playing for points.. Consider me chastened for having the termerity to post my views sir Bad day?

Well, I didn't mean to give offence, but telling me that I need to realise something that I've already demonstrated that I do realise does tend to make me go ---> .

I fully appreciate that people have different tastes in telly. I also stand by my assertion that Top Gear in its present format is a massive waste of the licence fee. As a public service broadcaster, I don't think that the BBC's one motoring offering should be so unremittingly infantile. If they made a decent motoring program as well to counterbalance it I'd be far less irritated about the whole thing.

[Konan555]

I fully appreciate that people have different tastes in telly. I also stand by my assertion that Top Gear in its present format is a massive waste of the licence fee. As a public service broadcaster, I don't think that the BBC's one motoring offering should be so unremittingly infantile. If they made a decent motoring program as well to counterbalance it I'd be far less irritated about the whole thing.

A 'Later' to Top gear's 'Top of the Pops'

Mind you, they went without any form of motoring programme for quite a while didn't they? I mean, Top gear in it's old format got somewhat dire.

[Rave]

True. TBH I'm not massively exercised by the whole thing, it's more that the entire program is basically an extension of Clarkson's views with no counte******. To me the BBC should not be broadcasting a program in which the main presenter reckons that all motorcyclists should be 'stabbed in the face' (or whatever it was) without someone else calling him on it. Or, as another example, nobody pointing out that 95% of people who drive massive 4x4s do so out of selfishness and stupidity when he goes on one of his weekly environmentalist bashing tirades.

Don't get me wrong, I think that Clarkson is an entertaining TV presenter, but a great sage of motoring wisdom he most certainly is not.

[Konan555]

He's actually pro eniromentaly friendly innovations in a lot of cases where 'petrolheads' arn't. Most of it's just playing up for TV, I assume in the understanding it's in good humour.

How many people seriously listen to one persons humerous views and take them as gospel anyway? If he feels like having a rant on his own show I think the BBC are fairly safe with the idea he won't brainwash the entire country into listning to old Yes records.

If clarkson's a menace, what the hell are the two Grears?

[dangel]

I fully appreciate that people have different tastes in telly. I also stand by my assertion that Top Gear in its present format is a massive waste of the licence fee. As a public service broadcaster, I don't think that the BBC's one motoring offering should be so unremittingly infantile. If they made a decent motoring program as well to counterbalance it I'd be far less irritated about the whole thing.

You're lucky we get any sort of motoring program on the beeb - remember top gear as it was, was cancelled.. As for being 'unremittingly infantile' I think again your use of the extreme to illustrate your POV does nothing but provoke - you've made yourself crystal clear on your views Personally, I rather like top gear and I'm also a bit of a fan of clarkson - and as someone else has pointed out you don't have to agree with him to enjoy watching/reading him. Often he's spouting tosh, sometimes he's right on the money - but he's always entertaining in doing so (and hence his success no doubt). Perhaps some people take life that bit too seriously?

[Gordy]

Have to say I found the whole show a poor imitation of top gear done on the cheap. The fact they had the gall to then slag off top gear just showed how sad they are.

Only saving grace was the shots of the AM that car is flipping gorgeous

Why dont they call it CheapKnockOffOfTopGearOnFive and be done with it.

[steve threlfall]

Personally, I rather like top gear and I'm also a bit of a fan of clarkson - and as someone else has pointed out you don't have to agree with him to enjoy watching/reading him. Often he's spouting tosh, sometimes he's right on the money - but he's always entertaining in doing so (and hence his success no doubt).

I agree. I really enjoyed reading his latest book 'The World According to Clarkson'. He'l often talk a load of rubbish but he is just playing up to the camera.

He took that recent cream pie to the face by an enviro-mentalist very well indeed

[dangel]

I agree. I really enjoyed reading his latest book 'The World According to Clarkson'. He'l often talk a load of rubbish but he is just playing up to the camera.

He took that recent cream pie to the face by an enviro-mentalist very well indeed

Yeah I read that - good book, most entertaining. I also like his Times columns on Sunday.

And yes, quite a difference in how he handled it ("good shot") from our film stars and politicians!

[Tarffie]

Must say, the Fifth Gear office looked very, very low budget with the exception of that corner that they painted a bit and that silly time board. 2 minutes watching Tiff type isn't my idea of entertainment.

[Konan555]

I think their biggest faliure was the 200mph project thing. They took ten minutes of programme to explain...well....nothing.