This is a joke in poor taste and so, if you're sensibilities are likely to be offended, please read no further.
I tell the joke not to amuse - though, hopefully, you will smile if you've not heard it before - but so that people who read an editorial I've just written - Even a creature from outer space should know you can't buy a good review on HEXUS - will understand a reference I make there.
Good joke tellers will, justifiably, sneer at my telling of this tale but I'm writing it quickly.
So, anyway, it goes something like this...
At a large but isolated Foreign Legion outpost, a new - and newly arrived - legionnaire asks one of the NCOs what the chances are of finding a woman of easy virtue.
"None at all", he's told, "we're miles from anywhere but don't worry, we've got The Barrel and we use it every night".
"The Barrel, what's that?"
"Later, I'll show you later."
That night, he's introduced to The Barrel.
It's looks like any other barrel except for being big and having a single hole in it - and the legionnaires are queuing up to use the hole to relieve their sexual tensions.
He's not convinced that a hole in a barrel is going be much of a turn-on but joins the queue and is pleased and surprised to find that the experience is rather wonderful.
So, every night, he's in the queue and every night he's pleased and surprised.
Then, one evening, after a hard day's legionnairing, he decides he'll have supper, skip sex and get an early night.
As he's leaving the mess-room and heading for the barracks, though, he's pulled up by the same NCO who told him how he could relieve his sexual tension.
"Where are you going?"
"It's been a hard day and I thought I'd have an early night."
"You can't do that yet."
"Why ever not?"
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"Haven't you seen the roster? It's your turn in The Barrel tonight!"
That's the joke and I'll put in a link to the opinion piece that necessitated its telling after that goes live.
Sorry for the delay in putting in the link. Bob