Help cheer up my injured mate! :)

[Lowe]

In a nutshell:

My mate is a Captain in the British Army, serving in Afghanistan. Unfortunately he was involved in a rocket attack (as far as I know) and has taken a bit of a kicking.

He's been transfered to a military ward back in the UK, but due to his injuries it looks like he'll be stuck in hospital for quite some time, so I'm trying to cheer him up a bit.

I'm going to print off this thread and take it in for him, so he's got something to read whilst he's recovering. So, I want lots of "Get Well Soon Mike", lots of jokes, and general well wishing for one of our lads.

Over to you guys.

[Gerschwin]

Get Well Soon Mike

A woman was in a coma, she had been in it for months.
Nurses were in her room giving her a blanket bath. One
of them was washing her private area and noticed that
there was a slight response on the monitor when she
touched her. They tried it again and sure enough
there was sizable movement.

They went to her husband and explained what happened,
telling him, "As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little
oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the
coma."

The husband was skeptical, but they assured tha
they'd close the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room
After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no
pulse, no heart rate.
The nurses run back into the room.
"What happened!?" they cried.
The husband said, "I'm not sure, maybe she choked".


ok where do I pick up my oldest joke ever award from?

[menthel]

Get Well Soon!

What do you call a 3 legged donkey?

A Wonkey!

[chuckskull]

You're alive and the rocket is in a million pieces, hows that for a pub story? Not many people can claim to have taken on an rocket and won

[Funkstar]

Yeah, get well soom Mike.

Whats red and sits in the corner?
A noughty strawbery

Whats red and invisible?
No strawberries

Whats brown and sticky?
A stick

What did Hitler say just before him men got in their tanks?
Männer! in deinen Behältern erhalten! (Men! Get in your teanks!)

There are two fish in a tank, one says to the other " to you know how to drive this thing?"

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
a Fsh

Two budgies are sitting on a perch, one says to the other "can you smell fish?"

Two nuns are sitting on a bench and a naked man runs past. One has a stroke, the other couldn't reach.




I could go on

[steve threlfall]

Get well soon Mike

What has a woman got in common with KFC?

Once you have finished with the breast and thighs, theres just a greasy box left to put your bone in

[tiggerai]

What do you call a fly with no wings?

Walk

What do you call a fly with no wings and no legs?

Still

Get well soon Mike

Kisses, Tigs xx

[Howard]

You're alive and the rocket is in a million pieces, hows that for a pub story? Not many people can claim to have taken on an rocket and won

I was thinking that, good going!!

[Elspuddy]

get well soon
and print think link out as well
http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/digitalt...-on-cable.html

[kickstart 1]

This should get a smile ..The beers on me!

[Stewart]

Mike, for every bad thing that happens, fate addresses the balance with a good thing.

So while you are lying in your hospital bed, being stapled back together, after your close encounter with a Taliban party popper, it should at least give you some comfort to know that Peter Andre has meningitis.

Keep smiling, God Save the Queen, and all that, and don’t let the bastards grind you down.

[mosherben]

What was so tragic about the vauxhal nova with 4 charvas driving off the end of a cliff?

A Vauxhall Nova seats 5

Get well soon

[Clunk]

Mike, for every bad thing that happens, fate addresses the balance with a good thing.

So while you are lying in your hospital bed, being stapled back together, after your close encounter with a Taliban party popper, it should at least give you some comfort to know that Peter Andre has meningitis.

Keep smiling, God Save the Queen, and all that, and don’t let the bastards grind you down.

Get well soon Mike

[Funkstar]

Just been sent this from someone at work

A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his in his window.
The bee said, "What seems to be the problem"?

"I'm out of gas."

The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his gas tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out.

"Try it now," said one bee.

The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up.

"Wow!" the man exclaimed. "What did you put in my gas tank"?

The bee answered, "BP."

[TiG]

Damn Funkstar you are on a mission today heh.

Get well soon Mike. I hope you get lots of fantastic nurses to look after you hehe.

TiG

[Hans Voralberg]

Oh yeah and a nice bj as well (if it's gross pls mod remove it)

Get well soon Mike, you did a great job