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Below are 20 things, some of which some of you do, some of which none of you do, some of which nobody has ever done.
Simply go through the list, then post telling everyone which ones you do. And no pretending you've never done any of them... we all do things that are we are not proud of or are a bit wacko.
For the record, I've never done any of these.
1) Go to make a cup of tea, but decide to have coffee instead, because it’s a new jar, and you get to pop the foil thingy with a spoon.
2) During sex, realise you badly need a wee, and find yourself thinking – I’m ok, there is a valve or something that stops one coming out when the other is… I read it on Wikipedia.
3) Go to pick something up off the floor, bend down and just don’t reach far enough, but by the time you’ve realised you’ve not reached far enough, you are already starting to stand up again, so you bend down again, this time in a rush, and do the same again. This can be repeated 4 or 5 times in a few seconds before you finally make sure you’ve got it before standing up.
4) Have a poo and look at it.
5) Wake up, look at the time, and think ‘Well, I should get up now, but if I roll over for another 5 minutes and snooze that’s ok’, knowing 100% that if you roll over and snooze, you’ll wake up about an hour and a half later… before rolling over and snoozing.
6) When someone offers you something to eat you’re not sure you like, walk gingerly up to them, and nervously lift it to your mouth, like there’s any sort of sensation you can get that you don’t like, before you’ve put it in your mouth.
7) Watch a movie you’ve owned on DVD and not watched for years, when it comes on the telly. (Usually Braveheart)
8) Have a racist dream.
9) See a child fall over, and noticing that as they stand up they are still undecided if they are going to cry or not, place a quick mental wager that they will\wont.
10) While frying food, get a bit of hot oil spat onto you from the pan, which hurts and that, so you drape a tea towel over your arm, and treat the situation like a bullfight, with you as the matador, and the hot oil the bull, elegantly fending off its attacks until the bacon is crispy.
11) Try to comfort a dog during a thunderstorm, with reassuring words.
12) Stop smoking and use the saved money to sponsor an African child, then realise later that they will probably just spend the money on ciggies themselves, and that you’ve made everything worse.
13) Not completely trust trees, if you are alone at night, and there are loads of them.
14) Need a poo whilst watching something good on the telly, but decide that you can wait until the ads come on, then realise after about 15 minutes that it’s on BBC and there are no adverts, so reluctantly go to the bathroom.
15) Think about what milk actually is. Ergh.
16) Wonder if Stephen Hawking writes all these really complicated books because he’s bitter, and is just making it up to feel superior to us.
17) When the phone rings and you can’t be arsed to answer it, wait until it stops ringing, go to press 1471, then realise that if the person who rang you thought you couldn’t be arsed to answer it, and rings back while you are dialling 1471, to see if you are dialling 1471, they will get the engaged tone and know you are in and dialling 1471! So you think ‘best to wait 10 minutes’, during which time it rings again, but now you don’t know if it’s the same person ringing again or someone else, so you’ve lost everything.
18) Get an itchy eyeball.
19) Throw stones at a girl you fancy, damaging her face quite badly.
20) Imagine the sheer terror and misery that is a ginger person’s anxiety dream. Then vow never to do so again.
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, 15 can be applied to honey as well..
Originally Posted by tiggerai
